AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

[Iloveleaveinconditioner]

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

They're in the guest room its easy to assume they are there to use , if you dont want people using them put a lock on the cabinet or move them

It’s not the guest’s room. It’s a room in the OP’s house. The description of “guest room” is for the OP’s benefit to distinguish that room in her house from the other rooms, not a handing over of ownership of its contents to anyone staying in it.

It sounds like she used one spray from each bottle she used, which won't make much difference.

This. ^ Why on earth were these 'expensive fragrances' in the guest room @Iloveleaveinconditioner ???

The woman was slightly cheeky, but YABU to have left the bottles of perfume in the guest room!

I leave a selection of toiletries and spa slippers for guests to use in our guest room.

I assume that people will use whatever they need / would enjoy .

The responses to this are insane. Surely people realise that spare rooms are often used for storage? Do you actually think anything in there is yours for the taking?

i think she was incredibly rude!

Can people really not see the difference between a selection of relevant toiletries such as shampoo and toothpaste in a spare room or guest ensuite, and 15 bottles of perfume in a display case?

If it was on display in the spare room/ guest room I would have assumed it was there for me to use. It’s like having towels in the bathroom if you don’t want the guest to use them.

It’s really not (IMO) 🤣 towels are a very usual thing to lend to guests, perfume very much not so!

Oh, I don't know. I'd be careful about inviting any budding David Hockney. Ben Nicholson did a painting on the plaster wall of a house he was staying at as a guest. What's an artist to do?

Hahaha my in laws actually!! All the bathrooms have a selection of Tom Ford perfumes - and no, these are not their personal ones, those are kept in their own bedroom / en suite. The ones in the rest of the house are for guests!!

With a chain and padlock around the wardrobe.

When I stay at people's houses I am a guest in their home, not someone renting a room in a hotel. Of course I don't use their personal things - I wouldn't even open a drawer unless I'd been told that one had been set aside for my use (eg if I were staying for a few days). I find it insane that posters seem to assume that sleeping in a spare room gives them carte blanche to help themselves to their host's personal stuff.

This. I think the key point here is that they were in your guest room. Cheeky if they were elsewhere!

The cabinet is behind a glass door?

It's perfume, not your knickers or a roll on deodorant. If you don't want guests making themselves at home, don't leave things in their room when they are staying.

Totally agree with this^^ came to say exactly this. Who just helps themselves to ANYTHING in someone else's house! I certainly wouldn't!

Displayed in the way they were, in the guest room, I absolutely wouldn't have realised they were for OP's own use and would have thought it was a really nice touch from someone who loves perfumes. Just an extension of providing toiletries, which I do in a nice basket in the guest bathroom. So yes, I may well have used them but probably would have said something earlier as it's a niche thing to do.
Your guest would probably be mortified if she knew you hadn't intended them to be used.

Nah it’s weird and rude. People are getting really hung up on the words “guest room”. It’s not a fucking hotel. It’s still op’s home. Why would you use something that’s not yours?! My mums spare room has a wardrobe of her clothes in. I might just wear them next time I stay over.

I would find that a bit confusing, and rather tempting.... and not prescribe bad intent to her actions because of that. Although Id also probably just have sniffed rather than tried. Maybe next time you have guests stay in there you don't know that well, remove the bottles to be clear.

To be fair you could have put them in your room they was in a guest room so 🤷

I honestly think this sounds like a misunderstanding, especially if you have always liked her previously. I definitely wouldn't blow up a friendship over it

RUDE.....I would have told her the same as they were leaving my home honestly....an absolute disgrace without asking.

The description of the room is irrelevant. My point was that I wouldn't leave anything that I'm particularly protective of in a room that I'm expecting a guest to sleep in.

As I said, I wouldn't have touched the perfume - but I also wouldn't be astonished if a guest in my home mistakenly thought that they were welcome to use something I'd left in the room I'd provided for them.

But these aren't clothes we're discussing! I do actually leave toiletries in the guest room and guest bathroom for guests to use. I mean, not 15 bottles of perfume, but I do think it's not as clear-cut as some people seem to think. Certainly not bad enough to kick up a fuss about!

Exactly.