To think everyone is so rude nowadays.

[Elfie111]

I just returned home from a shopping trip in a large shopping mall (can’t say where as would be outing) - 😂 not really, it was Bluewater.

I just want to know why everyone is so hostile. I know this has been discussed before but is it really the post Covid bad attitude / no social skills or awareness.

I was making my way out of a changing room with a pram this morning and a mother and adult daughter blocked both aisles to leave the changing room and then glared at me. I waited for them to move as they seemed as though they were quite invested in being aggressively in the way/ I was a massive inconvenience for wanting to exit the changing room. Normally I would say ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’ (I know people hate this as why am I apologising for being alive) but today I thought - I’m not even going to speak. You know you’re in the way. You’re both glaring at me and instead of getting changed in the cubicle you’re in the gangway with open mouthed gormless stares.

In my experience people behaving like that is more and more common now.

Does anyone have a similar experience?

You will!

Oh, I wonder if it was the same rude cow that literally rolled her eyes at me when I asked to return a pair of trousers the other day. Then barked “receipt!” (It was on top of the trousers). Said nothing else, would not look at me.
I had brought the item back in one of their own large paper bags and said to her “I don’t need this any longer”. To which she said with so much attitude “ well I can’t recycle it”. The bag was basically as new, I wasn’t asking her to bin it. I just gave it to the lady behind me in the end.

I have asked these questions to rude customers both as a staff member and a customer, if I am next to them. Both in a neutral tone. Words similar to
”Have you ever worked in retail or customer service?”
“What do you want to achieve from being rude towards me/shop worker?”

Everytime I asked the former question, the answer was always no. Then I said “I thought so”. The latter question was usually had silence or shrugged shoulders as the response. Then I said something like this the reason you have not answered this question as there is nothing to achieve from being rude.

I have supported shop workers when I’m shopping as a customer. They have appreciated the support.

😂 so true

I’ll also try to be more like you 😊

Would you generally describe yourself as feeling happy and a positive person?

I definitely want to be like you ♥️

I can’t work out if you’re being facetious or genuine

You're not wrong. So many people are rude, inconsiderate, etc. We were on holiday recently in part of the US and people there were noticeably really friendly, polite and interested in others and no, it wasn't only in tourist attractions.

It is.

What a shit show.

I work in retail and this really annoys me when customers think staff are just standing around having a general chit chat, I can guarantee they were talking about work, but entitled customers think it’s all about them and their the only customers shopping, I can also guarantee they would not be allowed to stand around chatting as we are certainly not allowed to do so.

That would depend on your outlook on life wouldn’t it.

‘You see what you want to see’. Remember.

Best not to think in absolutes.

Have a wonderful day. You were up bright an early to spread joy on a forum so for that, I, and the whole of mumsnet thank and applaud you.

I will now refer you to the first comment of this thread. Read it twice.

Remember not to tell yourself stories.

You don’t want to get anything ‘lodged’ in your ‘subconscious’ as you so eloquently put it.

Also 84% of people who voted need to be more like you.

I can almost guarantee you’re reading this with a ‘gormless open mouthed stare’. Or. ‘Trust fund confidence, emotionally bankrupt’ is an accurate description of you. Or both. Or a variation. Best not to talk in absolutes.

I can’t either.

I don’t think people are rude, although I think there’s a sense of frustration on the roads in particular which can tip over into rudeness and aggressiveness quite easily.

Couldn’t have put it better myself.

This is an absolutely horrible reply and I can only assume I’ve missed something massive to justify it?

just because a member of staff is on their phone doesn’t mean they are not working, I work in a big department store and I have to go on my phone to look at plans of the store layout, when new stock is constantly arriving we don’t know where to put it without looking at plans, if we put it out incorrectly we get told off, it goes straight on our group chat “who put this here” so that is the reason I go on my phone, oh also my mum is in a care home so I like to keep my phone with me incase they need to get hold of me in an emergency.

@pinenuts75I can guarantee they were not talking about work as they were standing immediately to my left and I could hear what they were talking about.

One of the things that always strikes me when I read threads like this is the extent to which people’s idea of rude is different, which I think is one of the problems, especially when different ages and cultures are mixing.

I was at a funeral a couple of weeks ago with many friends of my parents in attendance and remembered how just calling them by their first name was considered the height of rudeness as a child so they had to be ‘Auntie Linda / Shirley / Jean’ and ‘Uncle John / Keith / Brian.’ (My 47 year old brother still has to be reminded not to call them this.) Whereas now that’s not the case. Likewise, it wouldn’t occur to me that a member of staff talking to a colleague was rude, especially if I was using the self checkout anyway!

People will wax lyrical about how people were politer in bygone eras, but they normally mean that people were more deferential to white men and women. Open racism, which I think is extremely rude, was not only acceptable but encouraged. Rude teens has been a complaint of every single generation.

I do think, having read this thread, that there is an element of seeing what you want to see.

See I actually think it’s pretty rude to think that they should be slavishly waiting around to serve you when you were doing it yourself!

It is just a seismic shift that’s happened with self checkouts - I don’t love them but I’m sure not going to get offended about staff talking as I use them!

Well why didn’t you say something to them then? Instead of just being another customer who thinks it’s all about them.

@northernwinds I actually think there should be tills open for those who don't want to use self service. The tills that these staff were stood next to. It's not as if M&S is a discount supermarket and i wasn't just buying a pair of socks! I'm over 60, have grown up with customer assistance and hate self service machines with a passion. A lot of M&S customers are older than me and also struggle with these self service machines.

Maybe ideally but if no one is using them, then the member of staff is literally just stood around for most of the day which is pretty miserable for them and also from the stores point of view a waste of money.

I mean, all you need to do is politely ask if someone could jump on the till as you don’t like self service - that’s totally reasonable.

Oh, is it a racist thing then?

Thing is though, is it a shit job? It's not down a mine or dealing with sewage or wiping people's bums...I have worked in retail and it's fine, stack shelves, till, say hi and bye, most customers are ok and if they're not direct them to the manager. I often see the defence for poor service on here "well its NMW so you can't expect people to be happy" but when did taking pride in doing a task well stop? I knew at 16 that if I'm being paid to do something or given a task you go it as best you can, not to the minimum you can get away with.

?

Racism is rude; overt racism was more common at one time.

People’s ideas of rude vary. As we can see from this thread!