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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think everyone is so rude nowadays.

324 replies

Elfie111 · 30/10/2025 13:43

I just returned home from a shopping trip in a large shopping mall (can’t say where as would be outing) - 😂 not really, it was Bluewater.

I just want to know why everyone is so hostile. I know this has been discussed before but is it really the post Covid bad attitude / no social skills or awareness.

I was making my way out of a changing room with a pram this morning and a mother and adult daughter blocked both aisles to leave the changing room and then glared at me. I waited for them to move as they seemed as though they were quite invested in being aggressively in the way/ I was a massive inconvenience for wanting to exit the changing room. Normally I would say ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’ (I know people hate this as why am I apologising for being alive) but today I thought - I’m not even going to speak. You know you’re in the way. You’re both glaring at me and instead of getting changed in the cubicle you’re in the gangway with open mouthed gormless stares.

In my experience people behaving like that is more and more common now.

Does anyone have a similar experience?

OP posts:
Auburngal · 30/10/2025 15:24

For many people in retail and customer services (facing too) jobs, they just need one more rude customer to tip them to quit their job. MH has worsened in years since the pandemic due to rude customers. I had to be on antidepressants.

I left my job due to a bullying store manager and his area manager refused to acknowledge my grievance. Rude customers was in my top 3 reasons why I left retail.

landlordhell · 30/10/2025 15:25

KrystalStubbs · 30/10/2025 15:22

I agree with the hostility, and has anyone noticed the "stare"! I don't go out much now but when I do go shopping, I like brief interactions with people. A smile or an exchange of a few words with other customers or staff can make my day but I'm often met with blank stares now, it's a bit unnerving and rude.

Haha this made me laugh. I’m the same. Think I get it from my dad who would talk to anyone. Last week I walked into a shop to get milk and suddenly noticed it had changed from a One Stop to a Norrisons Daily. I sort of did a double take and said to the guy who walked in at the same time as me “ When did this happen?” and he just blanked me. 😂😂😂😂😳

Original poster
Elfie111 · 30/10/2025 15:26

Boobiker · 30/10/2025 15:13

Must be depressing OP

Not a view I even remotely share

“everyone” 🙄

That’s nice. You’re more of a glass half full type. You seem like it. You seem really positive and pleasant. I’ll try to be more like you ♥️

OP posts:
RubySquid · 30/10/2025 15:28

mullers1977 · 30/10/2025 15:16

It's different shops

Show quote history

Even if that's tge case you've then done the staff a favour by going elsewhere so they don't have to bother to serve you

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 30/10/2025 15:30

tryingtobesogood · 30/10/2025 15:00

I complained in Waitrose recently as the young man on the till made no effort to be polite while serving, no eye contact, not a single word out of his mouth and came across as so rude that I really felt like I wanted to say somehting. I spent my youth on tills, and we would never have been allowed to be rude like that. Plus honestly I don't complain. its a shit job so I cut a lot of slack. But this was a bit much.
I was told that he was just back from a bereavement and that is probably why he seemed off. OK, yes, 100% can see that making polite chit chat with customers would feel difficult - but ffs don't put him on the till. Stick him out the back where he can be left alone. He just came across as rude, and it couldn't have been very nice for him having to interact with people

😬

Pozz · 30/10/2025 15:30

I’m not rude! 😇

But like you I feel like an idiot being friendly when people are so bloody rude/grumpy.

I do feel that it must impact them more than it troubles me though, as I only fleetingly interact with them whereas they are carrying that toxicity round with them all the time. I’d rather be like me than them! 🧘

Boobiker · 30/10/2025 15:32

This reply has been deleted

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mullers1977 · 30/10/2025 15:33

Pozz · 30/10/2025 15:30

I’m not rude! 😇

But like you I feel like an idiot being friendly when people are so bloody rude/grumpy.

I do feel that it must impact them more than it troubles me though, as I only fleetingly interact with them whereas they are carrying that toxicity round with them all the time. I’d rather be like me than them! 🧘

So true!!!

SGBK4862 · 30/10/2025 15:34

I don't think everyone's rude by any means. Some are or appear to be, but that could be down to their mind being elsewhere. For example, I've had people hold a door for me occasionally in a busy place, then say "thank you" sarcastically because I haven'trespinded. But it's only because I'm totally lost in thought for a moment - normally I would respond politely. Smiling or catching someone's eye when interacting usually gets a response. I'd say, be the change you want to see. It's easier though in a less busy place when you don't feel flustered or rushed.

Original poster
Elfie111 · 30/10/2025 15:34

KrystalStubbs · 30/10/2025 15:22

I agree with the hostility, and has anyone noticed the "stare"! I don't go out much now but when I do go shopping, I like brief interactions with people. A smile or an exchange of a few words with other customers or staff can make my day but I'm often met with blank stares now, it's a bit unnerving and rude.

The open mouthed blank stare is creepy as you like. I will never get used to it. Horrible. 😩

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 30/10/2025 15:35

YABU! I'm kind and polite unless I need to be otherwise.

I also meet many kind and polite people too, except for the bitch I encountered a few weeks ago. Phew!

Original poster
Elfie111 · 30/10/2025 15:35

SGBK4862 · 30/10/2025 15:34

I don't think everyone's rude by any means. Some are or appear to be, but that could be down to their mind being elsewhere. For example, I've had people hold a door for me occasionally in a busy place, then say "thank you" sarcastically because I haven'trespinded. But it's only because I'm totally lost in thought for a moment - normally I would respond politely. Smiling or catching someone's eye when interacting usually gets a response. I'd say, be the change you want to see. It's easier though in a less busy place when you don't feel flustered or rushed.

To be fair this is so accurate and I think probably we are all guilty of it. Definitely after just having had my little one I was vacant/ tired. Someone said to
me assume good intention. I do try to do that ♥️

OP posts:
Original poster
Elfie111 · 30/10/2025 15:36

Dweetfidilove · 30/10/2025 15:35

YABU! I'm kind and polite unless I need to be otherwise.

I also meet many kind and polite people too, except for the bitch I encountered a few weeks ago. Phew!

It’s totally the one bitch that sticks out for me in my mind. I need to focus on the good interactions ♥️

OP posts:
BitterTits · 30/10/2025 15:37

I work in a small secondary school, and when I'm on duty in the morning, I've noticed that nearly all of the pupils ignore the head or assistant head when they greet them with 'good morning'. I've only been at the school a couple of years, but it's much different to what I'm used to in my previous school.

Original poster
Elfie111 · 30/10/2025 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I definitely have never huffed about anything to my 1 year old but thanks 😂.

OP posts:
Auburngal · 30/10/2025 15:39

Read somewhere that people remember bad experiences - rude customers poor customer service 6 times more than nice customers and excellent customer service.

Calliopespa · 30/10/2025 15:41

Anger is everywhere at the moment.

I think it is the state of the country, of the world.

I even notice it on MN. Posters come on just to have a go at someone, anyone: the op, another poster.

Just anger, anger, anger.

Addictforanex · 30/10/2025 15:48

RubySquid · 30/10/2025 14:51

How does to buying a different brand bag in there affect the staff at all? 🙄

Show quote history

Spending a lot less money in the shop than she would have otherwise done if she’d had decent service and some help with her purchase. If lots of customers buy less, or nothing atall, in the shop you work in, the business performs less well, they close stores and let staff go.

SkippyKangeroo · 30/10/2025 15:51

Went to an information evening at my sons school the other day. We walked up to the glass doors and could see three teachers just stood inside.

We waited outside for about 20 seconds ( doors dont open from outside) before one walked over and without looking at us opened the door. Not one of the three said hello or even acknowledged us.

My partner and I just burst out laughing, it was just so unbelievably rude and unprofessional, not from just one teacher but from all three !.

Overall, frankly people just don't give a shit anymore. Going to something like the cinema or theatre is invariably spoilt to some degree by selfish idiots.

madameimadam · 30/10/2025 15:57

I was on the receiving end of breathtakingly rude customer service the other day in Aldi. Girl on the till didn’t even look in my direction but carried on her very animated conversation with her colleague on the till behind as she scanned my stuff.

I know Aldi are renowned for whizzing the goods down the checkout but this was something else! She practically threw my shopping at me. Think she caught my look of disbelief as she finally deemed me worthy of attention and asked if she was going too fast. Without stopping for my response, once she’d scanned everything, she literally turned her back on me, picked up a phone and started scrolling on insta while I finished packing!!!!

The woman behind in the queue had eyes on stalks…

DH works in retail and said he’d fully expect to give a warning to a staff member with that attitude. And he’s on the receiving end of arseholes most days!

If I hadn’t have had a massive trolley-full, I would have complained.

However, I haven’t seen her since so I suspect someone else did complain about her shitty attitude.

lifeonmars100 · 30/10/2025 16:05

I was wating for the bus yesterday and becuase the shelter was full I was queing on the pavement. A man riding his bike on the pavement dinged his bell and yelled at me to get out of his way! I yelled back "See that over there, it is called the road and in case you weren't aware that is where you ride your bike" I worry that i am going to get stabbed one day as I challenge rude gits who think the only thing that matters is that they get their own way

Addictforanex · 30/10/2025 16:12

I am an introvert and am happy for till staff not to talk to me tbh. Eye contact and a hello and a thank you at the end would be nice, but would prefer being ignored as long as they serve me to “so are you just out shopping, yeah?” “Have you got much more to get?” and other inane questions that have me screaming inside “please shush!” But in reality I smile and give minimal answers.

On till staff and the thank you point, I once saw a meme which said something like “The correct response to “thank you” is “you’re welcome” not “no problem”… and YOU should be thanking ME” that went mental in the comments…. Massive argy bargy on whether the customer thanks the staff for their service or the server thanks the customer for their custom, is it a mutual thank you and both should say it, and who goes first…. Whoa.

lifeonmars100 · 30/10/2025 16:16

MistyGray · 30/10/2025 14:58

I agree!! Driving is noticeably shocking. It's a worry really....

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There is a very busy junction close to my home and traffic pours down the three road that meet there. If you cross at the pedestrian crossing you take your life into your hands as many drivers jump the red lights and just dodge round people crossing the road. The impatience and disregard for safety is breathtaking, the crossing is also on a route to two schools and it is a miracle a child has not been injured or worse. There are no cameras so there are no consequences

RubySquid · 30/10/2025 16:22

Addictforanex · 30/10/2025 15:48

Spending a lot less money in the shop than she would have otherwise done if she’d had decent service and some help with her purchase. If lots of customers buy less, or nothing atall, in the shop you work in, the business performs less well, they close stores and let staff go.

Edited
Show quote history

But that's not directly going to affect the staff from that one customer is it. And in the meantime the staff are paid the same whatever level of service they give or how much the customer spends

Mimilamore · 30/10/2025 16:23

Really gone right off people out there now…