To think everyone is so rude nowadays.

[Elfie111]

I just returned home from a shopping trip in a large shopping mall (can’t say where as would be outing) - 😂 not really, it was Bluewater.

I just want to know why everyone is so hostile. I know this has been discussed before but is it really the post Covid bad attitude / no social skills or awareness.

I was making my way out of a changing room with a pram this morning and a mother and adult daughter blocked both aisles to leave the changing room and then glared at me. I waited for them to move as they seemed as though they were quite invested in being aggressively in the way/ I was a massive inconvenience for wanting to exit the changing room. Normally I would say ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’ (I know people hate this as why am I apologising for being alive) but today I thought - I’m not even going to speak. You know you’re in the way. You’re both glaring at me and instead of getting changed in the cubicle you’re in the gangway with open mouthed gormless stares.

In my experience people behaving like that is more and more common now.

Does anyone have a similar experience?

From angry drivers to those twats talking loudly on phone/playing music on buses and trains, from people barging into you because they are on their phone and they are oblivious to people scootering on pavements, from revving engines outside your house to blocking pathways and doorways - it’s a public health issue it’s clearly getting to most of us and beyond the normal feeling of being irritated. People are properly getting into each others spaces.
I suspect the fact that if you challenge or politely ask people to stop the behaviour, no matter how you do it, there is a fear of not only potentially violent repercussions but that this will be captured by multiple people on social media and edited to make you, the reasonable person, to look like the aggressor.

I voted you are not being unreasonable, and you also made me laugh twice! So thank you x

I went to one of those Outlet villages the other day and I have to say that the customer assistants were on the whole very pleasant.
I then went to the nearby very large M&S store. There were 3 members of staff standing around by the till area chatting amongst themselves whilst I had to serve myself on the self service tills (which I hate). I had to kick DH who was passive aggressively commenting about the bonkersness of me doing all the work to spend £160 whilst the paid staff stood around chatting. I mean, I felt the same as he did, but I just don't voice it in a PA way.
I'm so glad I live near a small market town where small shops and customer service is still a thing.

Retail workers get looked down by people. That angered me so much. Work has changed a lot both in customers and technology. Staff leave without being replaced fully. I heard that the 12 staff members that left due to the store manager being a bully. They worked a combined 280 a week. Only been replaced by 96 hours! When I left, they lost about 3 part time colleagues worth as was skilled on checkouts, kiosk, code checking. Plus did work on the shop floor.

Didn't Ghandi say ' Be the change you want to see'.
I try and be polite to people - find myself saying 'you're welcome' in a loud, sarcastic voice if people don't say thanks when a I hold a door/stand aside though.
Don't think Ghandi would have done that. But maybe he met less rude c*nts.x

😊

YANBU. As a person with a disability and uses a walking stick when I'm out and about,I have experienced some awful behaviour. People expecting me to jump out of their way because they insist on walking straight at me,or walk in the road (usually people with pushchairs or couples holding hands). People ignoring me on packed buses or trains when they're sitting in the priority seats. OK,I know not all disabilities are visible,but every single one of them every single time has a hidden disability? People getting impatient with me because I've been a been a second too slow getting off the bus so they give me a little helping shove. People walking behind me and literally walking on my heels because I'm slow and they won't overtake me. And the one that is really pissing me off lately - when I'm sitting on the inside seat on a bus, someone sits down next to me on the outside seat,then when I want to get off,refusing to move so I can get out. They expect me to squeeze past their knees through a 4 inch gap,which is really difficult when you have osteoarthritis in both hips and knees. I just say to them OK if I tread on your toes,don't blame me. And queue jumpers. I find queuing for long periods exhausting,yet if I say anything to anyone pushing in,I'm made to feel that I'm being unreasonable! And don't get me started on lifts,where people just barge in without letting the people in the lift out first. This happens on tube trains too. Surely it makes more sense to let people out first,as it makes more room for the people getting on?!
I witnessed a scene yesterday in Poundland that warmed my heart. I was right at the front of the queue for the self-service tills and 4 young men, probably late teens,just barged right to the front of the queue. I thought oh here we go. But the guy behind me wasn't having any of it. He shouted at them 'Oi,there's a queue!'. Their response was 'But we're only buying one thing'. Guy behind me said 'I don't give a shit about what crap your buying,get in the queue like everyone else!'. They dumped their one item and left. I love it when someone with more bottle than me challenges these arse holes!

Not everyone. Only in the SE. I have been all over the UK, Devon - great people, the North - great people

madameimadam I'm amazed that they are allowed to have their mobile phones with them on the shop floor,let alone be using them! My brother works in Tesco and they are absolutely not allowed to have their phones on them while working,they have to leave them in their locker in the staff room. I must say I have noticed quite a few shop staff looking at mobile phones when they're working. Maybe not all companies are as strict as Tesco?

Agree! Definitely worse in the London area.

Wherever you get the biggest salaries, the humanity and humaneness dissipates immediately. People start fearing someone is coming to take their money away from them and lock in, living only with similar social companions, not paying attention to the poor, suffering or widow

Yes to the poster above. We currently live just outside the M25 and the people are cold as dead turkeys. Fake smiles, evangelical church visits to show off, no real heart. If you got a problem, you are sent to the GP, foodbank and that is that. No real serving

Normally staff in Tesco will have their phones on them as they are encouraged to download the store app onto their personal phones so they can use it to help customers.

I’m just pleasantly surprised when someone is actually nice/friendly, my expectations are low now, unfortunately.

The shop assistant today threw my change at me today. A couple of coins fell on the floor, no apology from the twat, he just kept asking if I wanted my receipt. I wanted to tell him to shove it up his arse!

It wasn’t rude at all. It was a perfectly reasonable question. If you really wanted a mulberry bag you’d get one from another shop.

You see what you want to see. You've told yourself a story that everyone is rude and horrible and that is lodged in your subconscious. Some people are, some people aren’t. Talking in absolutes isn’t helpful .

Honestly nah, randoms are generally quite nice to me in public. It’s more the idiots that I have to deal with on a daily basis ie shitty colleagues that I can’t stand.

I think in the situation you describe, I’d just chalk it down to poor social skills. The daughter isn’t going to know better with her mother’s example being set like that. So just tell yourself it’s not your circus

No I don’t think “everyone” is really rude

Nor have I encountered “school gate cliques”
Nor have I encountered anyone who I would conclude is a narcissist
Nor am I NC either anyone
Nor do I have any toxic relationships

So something of an outlier on mumsnet!

My 16 yr old brought his two best friends back home after the gym yesterday for food. They make eye contact with me, asked me how I was, thanked me for the food and one even apologised for arriving unannounced.

Nor do I don’t see this generation as going down the tubes in terms of being polite and thoughtful

Yep I agree, not everyone as there are some that are kind, respectful and friendly. I was on the phone asking a few questions. The guy on the other end of the phone sighed really loud like I was an inconvenience. I think he meant to mute his mic but failed. I said excuse me, was there any need to sigh, you're really rude. He denied it but I heard him loud and clear 😕

I try hold on to the lovely things people have done and that not everyone is rude but sometimes it's hard with what I've been through recently.

Im from Yorkshire originally but don’t live there anymore. We were visiting for half term and it’s really noticeable how much more friendly people are there. Saying good morning as you pass on a walk, chatty people who work in service and hospitality etc. it’s not unfriendly where we live now but there’s certainly it a marked difference.

I used to work in retail and the best response if someone was being rude was to completely stop what l was doing, straight eye contact, long pause then "Sorry can you repeat that?" Stops them dead in their tracks every time. Most customers are cowards and are fond of making disgusting remarks as they go past, rather than directly to your face.

I don't find that generally, but there is certainly more of it in some places.

I don’t think I’ll look at MN for the rest of the day as this reply pretty much sums up every post.

It also made me laugh quite a lot.