To think everyone is so rude nowadays.

[Elfie111]

I just returned home from a shopping trip in a large shopping mall (can’t say where as would be outing) - 😂 not really, it was Bluewater.

I just want to know why everyone is so hostile. I know this has been discussed before but is it really the post Covid bad attitude / no social skills or awareness.

I was making my way out of a changing room with a pram this morning and a mother and adult daughter blocked both aisles to leave the changing room and then glared at me. I waited for them to move as they seemed as though they were quite invested in being aggressively in the way/ I was a massive inconvenience for wanting to exit the changing room. Normally I would say ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’ (I know people hate this as why am I apologising for being alive) but today I thought - I’m not even going to speak. You know you’re in the way. You’re both glaring at me and instead of getting changed in the cubicle you’re in the gangway with open mouthed gormless stares.

In my experience people behaving like that is more and more common now.

Does anyone have a similar experience?

Don't know whether this is specific to 'nowadays' but some people seem to see impatience as a virtue. I'm terribly busy, important, in a hurry, need to drive at whatever speed I like - get out of my way.

I don't know @Auburngal I have had to twice step in in our local boots when a staff member was accusing a customer of being rude/behaving in a particular way when they were doing nothing of the sort. The Boots staff here are absolute bullies!

For anyone with dyspraxia what you just described would be quite a challenge. I know you caveated with "real physical disabilities" but I'm not sure you'd really include in that people who just are uncoordinated and would get the hanger twisted in the label, or drop something on the floor or struggle to get the security tag off. And many self checkouts are bloody awkward if you've put something down and then lift it up again. They ask you about apps and loyalty cards and numbers of bags but not if you already scanned a bag. I'm perfectly fine with them but I totally get why many aren't. Empathy is a vanishing trait.

Yes! I was going to say exactly this! It's bizarre. It's like you are an alien being. I was brought up to acknowledge people if, for example, 2 people are passing in an otherwise quiet street or corridor. The "older generation" will often still respond/initiate pleasantries, but blank stares are becoming the norm.
On a positive note, I would like to give a shout out to the staff in Boldon ASDA (near Sunderland). Friendly, helpful, and chat pleasantly to customers at the till. 🌟

That's probably the most sensible solution. Actively shop more at businesses where they are efficient, helpful and friendly.

Yes - it’s awful now. It used to be the case that you should step aside and let people out of a shop or wherever before going in. However now they just barge straight in. It’s worst in London - on the tube or large stores. Tourists are the absolute worst for this.

I was reading this thread the other day, thinking that I haven't really experienced much other than a general gradual decline in manners, until yesterday...

About 30 people in the bank queue, one person at the desk and one person at the info desk. Two other banks have recently closed and been taken over by this one, so it was really busy. I was at the info desk, waiting behind a woman complaining to the staff member, who had to ask her not to be rude. The frazzled staff member then had to run to a customer at the back of the bank, came back and then someone jumped in front of me. Staff member came back from helping her and then someone else just walked in front of me. Heard her say her mum had just died, otherwise I would have said something. Eventually, got to speak to staff member, only for a bloke to interrupt. Staff member apologised and said she was dealing with another customer but he continued to interrupt. As he was finishing, another bloke interrupted him! The whole experience was pretty weird!

I can only think a lot of it is down to stress, often unnecessary paperwork and just so much to do. In this case, the bank desperately needed more staff. I then went to DD's work experience presentation and tour around the company and everyone was polite, holding doors open for each other etc.

Yes, many people are trapped in their own bubble and can be rude/entitled. However, I find much more pleasurable to be polite, like yourself OP, and I don't feel stupid for it. I have always lived by the mantra not to think/react negatively about how other people act or how something plays out beyind your control; the only thing you can control is how YOU react to it. If you don't let minutae bother you, it won't! Just focus on you.

Yes, I run my own business and have noticed such a change in attitudes in a very short time. It’s very stressful being on the receiving end of it.

Cornwall by chance?. There are cunty people here too. But last weekend we tripped " up country " and the cuntyness was way heightened. YANAB

Not as far as Cornwall. Somerset and Dorset (we’re on the boarder).

YANBU. Friends and I have had SO many rude comments and shows of extreme irritation (eye rolls, sighs, comments like 'God!' or 'FFS' muttered just before hurrying off) simply for pushing buggies normally down the street, for sitting on the bus, or generally just existing out of the house. There is a lot of hostility for women with children in particular, and even more hostility for acknowledging it.

Politeness is non existent so I don't blame you. Intolerance and entitlement are rife. Whether is after covid or just bad manners but like you, it annoys me

I find saying "lovely manners" like I used to say to my toddler children (when they were toddlers and used their manners) when people forget that they once had manners, either makes me sound like a dick, or people remember theirs. I have no worries about sounding like a dick around people that have no manners.

When i first moved abroad I wondered how all the immigrants who move to the UK (apparently there are trillions) cope with queues and door manners. Some of the kindest, mildest humans i ever met suddenly morph into the incredible hulk when behind the wheel or faced with a queue. Sideways queuing took a long time for me to understand and I used to often go home without being able to get to the front of the queue, when its basically just a mob with people squeezing in from the side and shoving people aside. Beeping BEFORE the light has even changed, undertaking etc. Driving with babies in mums arms in the passenger seat and children walking around on the back seat. Telling people they gained weight or look tired every time they see you. Well the fat and tired is meant to be a compliment and the rest is totally instinctive and there is no anger or malice behind it. Even the calmest, kindest man I have ever met and work with really closely is scary when he drives us. And if there is ever anything free, like a recent stand in our headquarters promoting something with a few free pens, literally a stampede. Im so used to it now and dont take it personally but I dont get what happens, why aren't cities full of the Indian sub continent and middle east knocking everyone over? Im not knocking them, its as natural as we queue, just fascinated.

I arrived at the self service till in Sainsbury’s at the same time as a man. He very graciously stepped back and said “after you”. I’m still enjoying that very polite gesture.

People are SO rude!!!

I annoy myself so much for apologising for my existence. I have started making a conscious effort now if i apologise and 1)its not my fault and/or 2) i dont get a response or acknowledgement from said person i will follow it loudly with an "actually no im really not" earns me some looks but fuck em

You misquoted me. I said ‘real incapacities LIKE…’ and then gave two examples. Dyspraxia is a disability /difficulty - one my best friend has - and so is included in my caveat. I didn’t say ‘real physical disabilities’ at all… you’ve just put that in my mouth.

I don’t think questioning you is rude? Perhaps this is part of the issue - people thinking a disagreement and investigation into people’s differing opinions and an offering of one’s own opinion is bad manners?

@TenGreatFatSquirrels Your post asking me whether I was unable to take an item of clothing off a hanger and put it into a bag or if I was not capable of doing laundry was both patronising and rude. Unless you were asking if I was disabled and therefore not able to undertake such tasks, in which case just ask that.

Not excusing her behaviour, but maybe she was annoyed with her three-year-old for opening the door, if she (mum) wasn't with her? Maybe she'd told her not to.

I think a contributory factor is that among some people these days there is almost a glorification of being rude - as if it demonstrates an impressive and enlightened mindset.

You see it a lot on MN actually.

Fair enough, this us a chat forum not a courtroom. I stand by the gist of my post though that for many people, the self service tills are not straightforward and they should not be the only option.

A little thing that happened yesterday is a good example I think. I was leaving a parking space, it was busy so a guy pulled to the side to wait for me to leave. I had my seatbelt in, engine running so not faffing about. I was about to pull out when three cars in succession squeezed past him to carry on up the row, meaning I couldn't move. If they'd waited behind him for ten seconds I'd have gone, he'd have moved and problem solved. Noone gives an inch now.

See this type of thing all the time. Zero patience.