Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

[Dramatic]

My daughter is in year 11 and a lot of her friends have already started shopping or already bought their prom dresses. Some have spent hundreds (£350-£500) and their parents have actually taken out payment plans or loans to get them....this seems insane to me? Are shops just ripping people off? Just seems like a ridiculous amount of money for a dress to be worn for a couple of hours.

When I got my 18yo her prom dress we went to an ex display shop and paid around £50 for a gorgeous dress.

Why?
As I said i dont have daughters and my son refused to go to his own prom
But why is it depressing that some parents want to splash out if they can afford it ?

It the issue is 1) lots of people do and will go into debt for it and 2) because they think this is the way it is....

They're convinced by Social media and advertising that this is an expectation of having a teenage girl.... Spend £750 on getting to a party... Crazy!

If the parents have the money to do it and are happy to it why are they mugs ?

DDs was very expensive as she wanted a dress by a specific designer - Tauta Matoshi.
We can afford it and DD doesn't really ask for much so we didn't mind. The dress is amazing

.

But a lot can't afford it.

They are paying for it in credit cards or getting loans off the guy down the road. Because they are falling for the lies that they're told that this is an important event that they must spend ££££ on their daughters.

Because they're falling for the curated idea that a 16 year old girl should spend 10x more than a boy to attend the same event.

People are not thick ,you dont get to tell people what they should spend their own money on
Personally I think it's a huge waste of money for me but I dont care what other people do if it makes them happy.

Spend £1000 on party if it's important to you, but don't pretend it's supposed to be that way and spread the idea that this is expected.

Whose falling for it ?
You are making massive assumption that these parents are simple souls ,who are to stupid to know what to spend their own money on.

Because they're sitting here saying things along the lines of...well I love my kids and I want them to have a fabulous time so of course I will spend £870! I couldn't possibly send her out ina £40 dress, because she's worth so much more and I live her so much and she worked so hard...

Keep quiet and send your girls in an expensive dress, but don't make out it what should be done and don't make out that somehow it's a superior choice to send in a designer dress than something from Zara.

Well they are stupid if they think they need to spend ££££ and get into debt over one party for a 16 year old. 🤷‍♀️

I'm not aa I said I dont have daughters and my son refused to go to his prom
I just think you are being very patronising to those people who do choose to spend that amount of money ,..

According to you
And why do you think they are going in to debt?

See, even though I don't have those payments, I disagree. A prom dress will likely only be worn once. My wedding dress was - I sewed that one, too, for a total cost of £250 including handmade jewellery. A car will last many years and be used several times weekly. if not daily. The cost to use ratio for a car, even on monthly payments, is much lower.

And just because people know how to hang onto money it doesn't make them a Scrooge 😂 They still spend, but on more sensible things that will last longer than a single night, and that hold value. Therein lies the difference in mindsets.

My children's school clamped down on this. Stating that as they were a state funded secondary school the proms were being scaled back to an award ceremony followed by music, drinks and buffet in the school hall, no limousines would be permitted onto the school premises. They were clear that the occasion had to be properly accessible to all pupils and excessive spending creates social stigmas and barriers ro those who cannot afford to do so, and it would be unlawful as a state funded school to be actively supporting such an event.

Good for them I say.

I still have my leavers ball dresses. I definitely wore them again at university balls. My step daughter wore one to a party recently.

A decent quality dress lasts decades.

And I still have the memories of those leavers balls. They've lasted way longer than any car.

Life is a balance between investing and living. You can't take it with you when you die.

I mean I would spend that amount but that’s because I could afford to, if I couldn’t then I wouldn’t! I certainly wouldn’t take out a loan etc! That’s the silly part

All the girls I know in the last few years (neighbours’ daughters, DH’s nieces) going to proms/school leavers’ dances are buying dresses from Vinted, eBay or charity shops, and dialling the whole grooming thing down considerably.

...it's right there in the OP?!

"Some have spent hundreds (£350-£500) and their parents have actually taken out payment plans or loans to get them...."

There's a hire shop near here that a huge amount of teens go to. The woman there often hires the same dress out twice in a week, but they are cleaned and suitably altered to fit each teen.

I have no idea how she keeps track! It was £80 to hire and included cleaning and alterations. Absolute bargain - and I didn't have to store it or sell it afterwards.

Oh yes

Of course us women are to blame

I was 100% to blame for taking her in when she had nowhere else to go,for teaching her basic skills (like how to fill a kettle and turn it on,how to wash up and how to budget) and trying my best to support her in other basic life skills (she was 18)

I'm in the wrong for refusing to hand over my salary every month,refusing to buy her expensive foods (that she'd waste) expensive clothes (which she ruined) run around after her 24/7 and plan my whole life around her (and at some point,not getting a second job so she had more to spend)

I'm also in the wrong for not being her personal servant,tending to her every whim and she ruined so many days out by throwing tantrums for the hell of it

She also tried to tell me with a straight face that my own ds 'wasn't allowed to come and stay at MY house' and when he showed up,she punched his dog

One woman told me that I (as in me personally) was the reason HER kids would never have a step mother and another called me all the names under the sun

She can go live with them and let's see how long they'd take her screaming in their faces,the stealing,the waste,the rudeness,the smirking when she thought she was getting her own way,the backstabbing and causing their marriages to fall apart like my relationship almost did

But nope,all my fault as a stepmother

But we're not talking about you, we are talking about impressionable teenagers being raised in an environment that values looks over other more relevant values and the prom system promulgating it.

I know you weren't replying to me but I know that people are going in to debt because they have told me themselves.

Getting into debt or financial difficulties due to peer pressure for one night is ridiculous
So is criticising peoples choices on how to spend money they can easily afford on whatever they want

and an environmental nightmare. Hanger for the dress? Sailboard?? WTAF??! 🤣🤣🤣 You mug!