Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

[Dramatic]

My daughter is in year 11 and a lot of her friends have already started shopping or already bought their prom dresses. Some have spent hundreds (£350-£500) and their parents have actually taken out payment plans or loans to get them....this seems insane to me? Are shops just ripping people off? Just seems like a ridiculous amount of money for a dress to be worn for a couple of hours.

When I got my 18yo her prom dress we went to an ex display shop and paid around £50 for a gorgeous dress.

They'd had probably made a fuss is the dress was £250 as well. We have a shop that does prom dresses in the town and they guarantee not sell the same one to anyone else attending that school prom

You can spend as much or as little as you feel comfortable with and the price you pay will have very little bearing on how good a night your daughter has. I’ve been to tens of proms (teacher) and seen the full range. I fully intended not to get caught up in the drama or pressure for my daughter’s prom but ended up spending 200 quid when we just went in to try on! Regret it slightly as loads of fab dresses on Vinted and the prom dress is hanging up having been worn once (but we will sell it in the new year). It’s basically a teenage disco which has been overhyped.its only once in a lifetime if they don’t go to sixth form or uni or ever socialise again. Most kids I know say the prinks or the after party were far better (and lots are in their jeans for the afters) so my advice is shop around and don’t believe or add to the hype!!

Yes I’m sure they would, but she liked the £500 one and we could afford the £500 one so what difference does it make to anyone else?

i am a massive hypocrite having been seduced into buying a new dress when I intended not to but the difference it makes is that everyone feels the pressure to spend more when other parents do. We also need to guard against sending out the message that you have to spend a lot of money to look or feel good. The boy prom experience is very different. There’s a feminist message in here somewhere …,

I don’t agree. When I was at school I couldn’t afford to go on a sports trip abroad. My parents told me they couldn’t afford it and that was that. Should the parents of the kids who could afford it not have sent them incase my parents felt pressured or I felt left out?

Mugged by an American idea to help dress shops and expensive car companies

100%

I think it's actually disturbing. Consumerism to that degree.

I don't like the whole concept of "proms" anyway. Seems like a massive Queen Bee event and the kids who don't fit in or who think they're ugly or whose parents won't engage with it end up feeling even more shit

Not all sixth forms have proms. My dc’s school had prom yr11 and a fancy dress pub crawl for last day in sixth form. She’s only had one society ball at uni and it wasn’t overly fancy. So school prom was a one off event.

Not equivalent. A small percentage of kids go on the ski trip. It’s known to be a luxury. We have turned prom into a rite of passage that everyone feels they should be entitled to.

It wasn’t a ski trip it was a hockey/netball trip that all of the hockey/netball team were expected to attend. It’s fine - and a valuable lesson - to understand at 16 that sometimes people can’t afford things that other people can afford.
Everyone can go to the prom, but everyone can’t afford £££ dresses, and that’s life.

I got one from a charity shop for £15

Let’s not pretend that by spending an obscene amount of money on an outfit that’s worn for 4 hours we’re trying to instill a valuable life lesson for our daughters. I think if we thought more about the common good we would pare the whole thing down so all could participate. No one would suffer and there would be a lot less waste. But as I say, it’s easier said than done when you get sucked into the hype. It would take a collective reimagining of the “prom experience “

I spent an unreasonable amount of money on a prom dress. However, it was a one-off , DD has neither asked for, neither expected anything on that level again.
Her leavers dinner dress (6th form) was pretty cheap and she bought it herself, wore the same shoes that she had for prom. The lesson for her (if there has to be a message) was that on that occassion we were able to treat her to what she wanted. Shes grown up not having that, if it had been at a different point in time she'd have known we couldn't afford it and wed have done the best we possibly could on a much lower budget 🤷‍♀️

We had a Formal back in the 80s, I remember one of my friends spent £180 on a dress - she was big into fashion at the time - I think we were all a bit shocked. It was me that won Belle of the Ball though in a home made dress (designed by me - made by my sister).

Not so much as thinking I will deny her a dress because one day she’ll get married and then she can have a nice dress 🤷🏻‍♀️

Spent £350 on the dress, offered her one that was 1k and my dad offered to buy it for her as well (she said no but partly because she said she would be worried about damaging it and partly because she would have needed approximately £400 material cut off the bottom cos it was really long)

she had been so ill, ME, dissociation, mental health issues, all her little dreams smashed

so yeah, we bought her a nice dress 🤷🏻

No I wouldn't spend that much. If buy a second hand one that would be just as nice and less than £100

Or left Jesus out of it completely 😥

It makes me laugh when people try to be patronising as if such spend is ’beneath’ them and they are somehow morally superior’ as they ‘wouldn’t do it themselves’.

Rather reminds me of my wedding day when my parents put no budget on it and my soon to be SIL indicated that my parents should buy her designer shoes to go with her bridesmaid outfit. This was even tho she had previously declared that she ‘couldn’t understand’ why anyone would spend above the minimum on shoes as it was ‘obscene’. Amazing how standards change when the opportunity arises…

I think your wedding dress thing is bloody weird. Let you dd have a prom, let it be age-appropriate, let it be relevant to her stage in life - an excuse to get dressed up, have a party and leave it there. No need to deep it (as my kids would say)

Does it really make you laugh - you come across a bit defensive and touchy, which is understandable given your choices have been criticised.

We all have things which we think are a waste of money - last week everyone was slagging off Teslas - I love my Tesla but I don't expect other people to - they are happy with their 20 year old cars or Range Rovers - jeez who cares, maybe you need to unclench a little - enjoy your money but don't expect other poeple to respect your choices because they won't and you shouldn't need them to.

Well that’s what I did, she wanted a proper prom dress so she got one. I was struck by the weirdness of the pp who thinks it’s only worth having a nice dress for your wedding.

@mindkey not defensive. Making a point. And I love my Tesla too

I think it's weird to elevate the dress above the occasion - I spent less than $100 on my wedding dress - we got married by the roadside in Vegas - had a massive party when we got home and have been happily married for 26 years... My dress was not the most important part of our wedding - we were and that was what we were focused on!