Is this really what primary school kids are like?

[HopelesslyNaive98]

Colleague’s child recently had their 8th birthday. Photos they posted showed child receiving make up from fairly pricy brands (ie. Sephora, Benefit etc.), beauty blenders snd similar, Uggs, and a Stanley cup. Birthday outing appeared to involve having make up done in store, more make up shopping, and clothes shopping in teen/adult focused shops.

Don’t get me wrong, I was desperate to put on a bit of make up as a little girl but it was a bit of body glitter and some lip gloss that came free with a Top of the Pops magazine. Equally clothes were Gap Kids and H&M, not River Island and Lipsy.

My kids are 7 and 6 so maybe I’m just totally naive about what’s to come. I just thought there was a few more years of childhood left!

Not around here, no. (DS is 8 and has friends from his old independent school and his local state primary.) The last "girl" birthday parties he's been to involved:

• a space themed party, where they played at the house and local park
• a party at laser tag
• an escape room at a local castle and then some pizza
• bowling and then pizza back at the birthday girl's home

Nothing to do with make-up at all...

@Bluedenimdoglover
"Nurture what they are and build their confidence in themselves as people. A lot of it comes from the mother and her attitude to a healthy mind and body. I'm so glad my granddaughter is a tomboy"
Isn't being an energetic girl good enough? She has to be a tomboy (not typical female) to be good enough? That's the opposite of your first two statements.
@HopelesslyNaive98 this was my eldest GD at 9, now at nearly 11, she only likes targeted skincare and only uses mascara. The younger one (8) would love this, but would see it as dress up. We buy the rip off versions from Home Bargains and Paw Paw etc. Stanley cups are across the board. The youngest loves beauty blenders but uses them in craft and play (with her sylvanian families, she's ditched the barbies). River Island clothes was well, I think H&M is like a jumble sale. Generally children are a mix.

No, that's just what that parent let's their kids do.

I'd never, ever turn my child into an adult before their time, it's cruel really as it makes me think they're robbing them of childhood.

Sephora kids. Common but not every kid, luckily.

My DD is almost 10. She likes a sparkly lip gloss and an occasional squirt of perfume, but mostly she likes art & crafts, climbing trees, cycling, scooting, bug hunting, reading, board games... And she's definitely pretty typical amongst her large group of friends.

Bit of glitter, lip gloss and top of the pops magazine would have been lost on me and my peers at 8, it was all skipping, bikes and mud.

💯 This is a really good point about the different impact of the types of trends. Stuff like Pokémon cards, a certain brand of pens, toys, a style of water bottle might be irritating when you’re being asked to buy them, but expensive make-up and skin care is a different level entirely. It’s putting pressure on girls to look a certain way, have perfect skin etc, at a young age, plus the potential to damage their skin.

My almost 12 year old up until a year ago still plated barbies but still had some makeup but this year she's more makeup but won't give up her barbies

My Year 3 DD likes kids’ nail varnish and a bit of kids’ make up now and again, but I would never, ever take her to Sephora or Space NK. She has a fake Stanley style cup (£10 from
Claire’s!) which she enjoys drinking from at home. I won’t let her take it to school, as it isn’t practical. She still loves Lego, playing role play games (especially pretending to be a dog with her younger sister!), crafts, slime and playing outside on her scooter. I think children who go to Sephora at 8 etc are more a reflection of their parents tbh. My daughter has heard of Sephora through girls at school 🙄, but she knows I won’t take her there as she’s too young!

Its a private or grammar school, isn't it?

State grammars don't usually have year 6

Nope - state primary. I thought of another thing - those pens with lids that look like animals - lots of my girls like them!

DS is in Year 5 and it describes most of the girls in his class. The majority (including boys) all have iphones, the girls all wear light makeup and school is constantly sending emails about problematic whatsapp/discord groups.

Pamper parties etc are also popular for girls birthday parties. The boys are still into lego, football, marvel etc and seem much younger.

Sounds tacky - and also very London / South East

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Reading the replies it does seem to be school/area dependent. Some have said all the girls are like that in their child's class, for many it's a minority of girls or non existent in the class.

Half or more of these kids are on TT and so are their mums so they are all being influenced to follow that particular style. I do wonder how so many can afford this during a COL increase. Psychologically mums want their little girls to fit in with their peer and friendship group. On an even sadder level, influenced mums want their girls to fit a certain aesthetic, it's all quite shallow really. Developmentally it's not great for these poor primary school children in Ugg boots, crop tops and fully made up Sephora faces. It's not brilliant for growing real friendships and learning about genuine connection. Pure consumerism.

Do the school not challenge the make up as well as dealing with the WhatsApp fall outs? My kids school keep wipes in the office for anyone wearing make up on a normal school day, the only time it's allowed is non uniform days.
I did once see the headteacher having to talk to a parent about their child's nails and telling them they would have to remove them as they weren't safe for school and the child wasn't allowed out at lunch or break because of this. The parent was horrified! Not sure if they did get them removed in the end or the child just stayed in.

My niece just turned 9 and had been 'into' skincare for a year. She watches you tube on skincare. She had a friends and family party and then took 4 friends to a day spa for hot tub and facials and then a sleepover. She had a new Stanley cup and products like you describe. She's in a mixed year group school, is very tall for her age (in 13 to 14 clothes, size 5 shoes). She has lots of family friends that are older but no older siblings. I wonder if she's the 'norm' but not sure. In contrast my nearly 7 year old loves crafts, dressing up, playing with duplo, having a nature table and building dens. He still likes topsy and tim, waffle doggy and not into things like marvel even. Im not sure he'll be anywhere near the boy version of that stage at 8 or 9.

Not that I'm aware of. They seem to accept light make up for the Year 5's & 6's but they also seem to accept a slight lax on school unform rules too such as girls wearing hooped ear rings and black leggings instead of trousers or a skirt.

DS1 is year 5 and none of his female friends seem into that sort of stuff yet...hobbies/interests seem to include football, harry potter, and drawing. When I see them in own clothes day they are usually wearing jeans or leggings and jumpers. One girls has a sequin jacket for parties.

Not around where we live (a very outdoorsy area). The girls in my Sons class (older primary school) are more into football than make up (thankfully!). Friends with older primary girls haven’t mentioned make up to me so can’t be an issue. I guess it depends what area you live in but kids that age would rather be outside than in make up shops here (thankfully theres’s nothing but a small boots near us). Wouldn’t have an issue with buying the odd nail polish but such a waste of money and childhood. Theres so many years when they are older they can get into make up (if they want to).

You wouldn’t get in our primary school door in hooped earrings - they start every day with exercise and no kids should be running round in hooped earrings. Why does a primary child who will be running and playing need hooped earrings? That’s the parents not parenting. Not seen any girls in make up at our primary thankfully.

For some kids it is. My girl is 10 next month and only wears makeup at school discos (kids glittery eyeshadow and lipgloss). She despises jeans and only wants leggings or joggers with T-shirts to be comfy. Also not a fan of crop tops, several of her T-shirts are from the boys section because they have things she likes on them like Minecraft.

I’ve not pushed her that way, it’s just what she prefers still even though her best friends are very much getting into skincare and makeup. The difference may be that’s she’s never seen TikTok (at home) or watched beauty influencers to think so deeply about her appearance. She does watch YouTube but she’s into Lego and video games and content related to those.

There's a direct correlation to exposure to TikTok and unsupervised YouTube access and this IMO.

My DD has a friend who had a skincare routine and liked particular brands similar to those at 7. My daughter also wanted these things (because her friend had them), I said it wasn't age appropriate and that was the end of it.

I've noticed that this child's parents are also avid TikTokkers and invested in that whole superficial 'lifestyle'. Her mum reminds me of one of the US pageant mums. The child is overdosed on social media, has had a smart TV in her bedroom since she was 6, a mobile phone since she was 7, has a laptop and an iPad with unrestricted access. Her behavior has really taken a turn for the worse.

I know all this because we were close friends, as were our DDs, but their parenting choices and their child's behaviour has led to me creating distance, unfortunately.