Is this really what primary school kids are like?

[HopelesslyNaive98]

Colleague’s child recently had their 8th birthday. Photos they posted showed child receiving make up from fairly pricy brands (ie. Sephora, Benefit etc.), beauty blenders snd similar, Uggs, and a Stanley cup. Birthday outing appeared to involve having make up done in store, more make up shopping, and clothes shopping in teen/adult focused shops.

Don’t get me wrong, I was desperate to put on a bit of make up as a little girl but it was a bit of body glitter and some lip gloss that came free with a Top of the Pops magazine. Equally clothes were Gap Kids and H&M, not River Island and Lipsy.

My kids are 7 and 6 so maybe I’m just totally naive about what’s to come. I just thought there was a few more years of childhood left!

It's all too common, unfortunately. I don't think it's a good thing.
My daughter (now 13) was at a very small village primary school, and in her year-group there were only 4 girls. The other 3 girls were obsessed with looks, make-up and skincare (mainly skincare which I find odd) and they used to arrive for sleepovers with a whole huge case of skincare items (when they were aged 9-11). They watched a lot of youtube tutorials etc - I think they all had phones from approx age 9 (my daughter didn't). Oddly they weren't that interested in fashion...
Luckily my daughter doesn't care about that stuff and once she got to secondary she made some good friends who are similar to her (bookish, with no interest in make-up etc!) - but unfortunately I think that what you've described is a very common thing and it does make me worry about this generation🙁

It's not a coincidence, everyone knows it's not a coincidence. Little girls aren't organically developing obsessions with Sephora, which isn't exactly a high street shop.

Mine has just started Y3. They're definitely becoming aware of trends and self image (if I have to hear 6-7 one more time I might wollop my child's backside 6/7 times 🤣) They're almost all obsessed with labubu dolls and kpop demon hunters. However they really are still just kids at heart. They play like kids. They still make believe like kids. As far as I know none of them are that interested in skincare or stanley cups yet. I am aware though that some of the kids at her dance school for example are a bit more precocious and see where you're coming from.

I think I'm lucky that dd goes to a very small village primary and a lot of the kids are pretty sheltered. I'm more than with this and hope to fend off tiktok influence for as long as I can. On the few occasions she has watched tiktok under my supervision I've explained in an age appropriate way that these people are literally paid to make it seem like this shit they're pedalling is amazing. I've also explained that child influencers are not treated well and that there's no laws about how long they have to work etc. I ask her to think how annoying it is if I ask her to do a gymnastics trick, for example, so I can video it. Then I ask how she thinks it would feel if I constantly had a camera in her face asking her to do tricks. I explain that this is basically what's happening (and probably worse) to most of these kids.

I might eat my words when my dd heads into her tween years but I do think we have to remember that we as the parents have the ultimate responsibility here. If some obnoxious youtube videos are depriving our kids of their childhood then it's up to us to stop them engaging with it surely?

My daughter is 6, son is 8 next month. My son has a new console for his birthday (a handheld Xbox thing 😂) and a bunch of Legos and plushies. He's autistic and his interest is gaming, he doesn't have a iPad / tablet so console only gaming. My daughter is 7 in February, she just got a reborn baby and is asking for baby accessories (like a good pram, changing area etc). She gets a lip gloss occasionally from boots and asks me to do her makeup sometimes but she knows it's only allowed right before bath time. Id never let her leave the house in anything more than gloss. 8 is far too young for this stuff in my opinion, I would probably agree to this for a 16th birthday. My kids watch YouTube but don't really know about brands (other than my son obviously he's a nerd with consoles 😂)

My DD is 9. Some of her classmates are like this but thankfully she doesn’t seem interested yet. She loves to paint her nails but is happy with kids peel off nail polish for now and wants craft things and Jellycats for Christmas.

I'd hate to see that attention to appearance in such a young girl. I'd worry that as she grew she'd be dissatisfied with her weight/lips/nose/breasts......at a really young age. Nurture what they are and build their confidence in themselves as people. A lot of it comes from the mother and her attitude to a healthy mind and body. I'm so glad my granddaughter is a tomboy

DS is in year 4 so age 8/9. None of the kids I know are like that. He plays with girls as well as boys, invites everyone to his parties, and the girls are all jumping about and running around with the boys. Maybe a couple are more into hair/nails etc but definitely not all of them!

DS is into Minecraft, dinosaurs, monster trucks and plushies/teddies. Watches cartoons like Teen Titans, Bluey, Octonauts, Wild Krats, Pokemon. Definitely still very much a child.

I have a 9 year old. We went shopping today, the only make up related thing she was interested in was novelty lip glosses. She was most excited to go into primark and Claire’s and her purchases were two pairs of flared leggings, 3 friendship bracelets, a bff necklace, a book and a legami pencil. She also bought Legami stationery for her friends birthday. I would say she’s fairly typical of her year group. She has no social media access but does play Roblox and Minecraft. Most parties are something active eg climbing wall, swimming, trampolining or something like a sleepover or garden disco. She loves making bracelets, Taylor swift, choosing nice outfits (which are age appropriate) but that’s as far as it goes.

Likely the parents desperate to show off what they can afford.

I think it depends on the culture at that particular primary school. Also, an 8 year old with a 12 year old sister is more likely to be interested in all that stuff.

Sadly yes it’s quite common. Too many kids starting school with a phone and it’s downhill from there.

YouTube - there’s a couple of younger (American) teen gymnasts that she likes to watch for tips, drills etc, and they also do fun challenges. They seem to have expanded their content into promoting of these things, I can only assume they’re being paid to advertise it.

It depends in my opinion, does the child have an older sister? My daughter is 8 in December and she wants EVERYTHING her older step sister has (14). She wants skin care, makeup, hair accessories etc.
HOWEVER, we don’t let her and we compromise. For example she is getting some Bubble moisturiser and lip balm, gloss and a face mask for Xmas amongst her other stuff, where as the older daughter is getting the skin care routine stuff she has asked for.
she is at a point where she wants to listen to music in the shower, have a say in her clothes, get her nails done etc but again we compromise always with what’s appropriate for her age so she doesn’t feel left out. I think that is the difference.

unfortunately kids are getting younger and younger when they start to want all these things though, it’s down to the parents to say yes or no.
I don’t remember going to concerts until I was a teen, but my daughter’s dad took her to see Taylor Swift at 7 🤷🏻‍♀️ I said no. 🙃

impressionable children like to not be left out but if the parents aren’t comfortable then they don’t have to go along with it, and there are still plenty of age appropriate children mixed in with those who aren’t. You have to remember some 7 year olds will have parents who were raised in a different time to you as well now which makes a difference, if they had them at 16-20 for example (they definitely don’t fit into my age bracket anymore 😂🙈), but I was that younger mum with my son.

My DS and my best friends DD are both 10. They still play with toys and games. BFDD is not interested in make up etc.
I think it also depends a lot on what the parents are happy with.
My Mum bought me my first make up from No7 counter with a lesson on how to apply when I was 13. I had the peel off polish and lipbalms before. I can’t imagine a full face of make up at 8.

Definitely not normal in my experience. DS’ friends, all a similar age, are all still very much little kids.

It’s a bit of a mixed bag, I’ve worked in Y4 lots over the years and my daughter is 8. She would love to be like this but I kind of discourage some of it but I’m afraid some of the things on that list she does ask for - nails, Stanley cup etc and I do let her do / have some of those things. Mixed year groups make it harder I think, so Y3 / Y4 is always a hard one as you have the Autumn born Y4’s who seem a mile apart from the Summer born Y3’s. Ultimately it’s down to you what you allow, I try to strike a balance as I believe my daughter still enjoys the ‘younger’ things but being around older or more mature kids makes them feel a bit under pressure to fit in.

I think children have always been swayed by fads/things that are popular. Pokémon cards for example swept our primary but there are some trends that feel benign (cards, stupid water bottles, toys etc) and others that have more of an edge. I think uncontrolled skincare is in that latter point because it could be damaging but is also setting up kids for a lifetime of consumerism re beauty products but also the risk of endocrine disruptors. Where do you go next if you’ve already gutted the boots aisle for anti aging creams at 10?

You must be working for Chavs-R-Us judging by your colleague. Not normal.

Do they not give boys skincare? Is it only girls that need "improvements" to their skin? Just making sure they they grow up feeling not good enough
Ignorant chavs.

Omg 8 is still early childhood, why do you want her to be like a teenager?
Can't believe who we have as teachers. Definitely the case of those who are not good at anything teach.
You are right, thinking of who I know- the chavviest 8 or 9 year olds with crop tops, beauty regimes, no toys and inappropriate music, netflix and tick stock are kids of teachers.
I guess mothers are so desperate for their kids to be "popular" like they never were .

The fact that they are under pressure doesn't mean their parents have to go along with it and allow these things.

I work in early years and have a 3 year old arrive with handbag and makeup every fucking day. She gets upset she cannot reapply her lip gloss. I appolagied to the parents they outside toys cannot be kept safe and should not be brought and put the handbag on her peg and she now snuggles her lip gloss in her pocket. That’s extreme but I’m already appalled how young these girls are taught they should aspire to beauty. I’ve done this job over 20 years and while there has always been the boy toy girl toy ideas I see less and less tomboy girl breaking gender stereotypes and more parents pushing this crap on tiny children than I ever saw when I was first working

‘Ultimately it’s down to you what you allow.’

in case you missed that bit.

Okay thanks for your vitriol.

I have a Y6 dd.

There are some girls in her year who are into slightly more grown up things like laboubous, (which tbf look like toys for little kids anyway), designer labels, have smart phones etc.

Dd's close friends don't do these things just yet.

I think it's not the norm to be getting expensive make up at that age tbh