Is this really what primary school kids are like?

[HopelesslyNaive98]

Colleague’s child recently had their 8th birthday. Photos they posted showed child receiving make up from fairly pricy brands (ie. Sephora, Benefit etc.), beauty blenders snd similar, Uggs, and a Stanley cup. Birthday outing appeared to involve having make up done in store, more make up shopping, and clothes shopping in teen/adult focused shops.

Don’t get me wrong, I was desperate to put on a bit of make up as a little girl but it was a bit of body glitter and some lip gloss that came free with a Top of the Pops magazine. Equally clothes were Gap Kids and H&M, not River Island and Lipsy.

My kids are 7 and 6 so maybe I’m just totally naive about what’s to come. I just thought there was a few more years of childhood left!

Certainly not the norm for my daughter and her friends. It's just a bit of glitter and she is completely uninterested in which shop anything comes from.
I've put YABU because I've just not seen that here but also I certainly was like that at that age and that was a LONG time ago now. I was obsessed with Topshop. Everything had to be from Topshop or Miss Selfridge. And to be frankly honest I would have dressed like an absolute stripper if my parents hadn't gotten a tight hold on it. I loved the Spice Girls especially the video where they are in the desert. I remember cutting up tights to make thigh high stockings.. because I wasn't allowed stockings. This was me and my friends at 9!!
If anything i actually think the kids at the primary school here are much LESS like that than kids used to be.
My daughter wants to be like Gabby from Gabbys dollhouse not ginger spice in her pvc jumpsuits like i did!!

My Y6 isnt in to this and neither are her friends and any of her class mates. They're very knowledgeable on things like periods and all the options beyond sanitary towels which is no bad thing. But make up barely figures. The closest they've had is lush bath bomb making parties and face packs and cucumbers on their eyes which I remember doing at 11.

Biggest worry is mobile phones. Resisting that for as long as possible.

Dont think this is typical at all but I do think its channelled in some circles. A sports theme or a music theme for example is easy to suggest if your child has such in the way of interests.

I don’t think it’s the norm but I’ve seen it with a few children at my daughter’s school. Last year my 8yo was influenced by peers to want ‘skin care’ which irked me a bit as I thought it was ridiculous. We ended up getting her some child safe cleanser for Christmas to scratch the itch and she used it about 3 times before being over it. I was in a real dilemma over whether to stand firm or just get something I was happy with on the assumption she’d quickly forget it. It was a useful learning experience in many ways for both of us. One of her class went to her outdoor activity school trip with a suitcase full of expensive skincare brands like drunk elephant. My daughter thought it was a bit silly rather than lusting over it.

No, it's not the norm at that age, but lots of girls certainly seem to be becoming obsessed with their looks at an increasingly young age. It's thoroughly depressing imo. I teach at a girls' secondary school. It's no coincidence that the ones who are already wearing obvious make-up in school and rolling their skirts up in Year 7 are often the ones who are going off the rails and doing poorly in school a few years later. Unfortunately it is generally a sign that they are highly susceptible to peer pressure and don't have very good parenting or examples set at home.

Parents who actively encourage and facilitate their pre-teen daughters in focusing on beauty absolutely baffle me. No doubt they are praising their sons for their achievements anf sporting prowess, not how lovely their skin and hair look.

There is a huge variation ime. DD1 is year 5 (9 -10 years old) in a 2 form entry. Her class are all doing K pop demon hunter dances and playing chase, imaginary games, clapping games and general silliness, enjoying lilo and stitch movies and wearing jeans/leggings t shirts etc. The other class is very much as you describe your colleagues daughter - all crop tops, Nike pro shorts, have own phones and talking about skincare and perfumes. There is a wide demographic of parents across both classes so I don't think it's parent led, but peer group led. The few girls in that class who don't 'comply' have been pushed out socially by their classmates and hang out with my daughters class at breaktimes. I'm so glad my daughter is in the more easygoing class!

Nope 100% not the norm

No!! In my experience 8 year olds love nail varnish, scented lip balm and if allowed: a lip gloss for special occasions (parties, school discos etc). That’s about the limits of interest amongst my daughter’s friends and I don’t think any are allowed more than that.
Ive seen some of the year 5s&6s do wear makeup to discos, but it’s usually stuff like bright blue eyeshadow that is not what teens / adults typically wear so not very grown up although personally I think just save it until secondary. At primary school they just like to play with makeup, not into actual real adult makeup. Even year 5&6s I don’t think are into ‘real’ makeup, just painting their faces with bright colours and feeling very grown up playing mum/ big sister etc.
This situation is quite unusual. I think probably allowed a phone with TikTok/YouTube. There’s enough children on there for it to be an issue - but I think probably a fairly small %.

I'm very baffled why a skincare company would name themselves after an animal with wrinkly, saggy grey skin and then make it even worse by suggesting the animal in question has an alcohol problem. Could anything possibly have less attractive skin than a drunk elephant? Clearly, I don't get it.

My 16yo stepdaughter is very un-girlie but she does like expensive things. We bought her a £400 Lego set for her birthday but she was not expecting that and hadn't specifically asked- she'd just mentioned that it was her "dream" set and we decided to splash out. She was completely shocked because it's not in character for us to spend like that and we generally would expect something like that to be a mixture of her saving up and us contributing.

Neither of our kids would ask for £100 face creams and £300 trainers because we'd just laugh. SD did try asking for a £600 Samsung Galaxy phone when she was 8 and got a hearty chuckle in response.

Maybe we're cruel and parsimonious!

This is absolutely not what all primary age girls are like. My DD is 10 and wouldn’t have the first clue what a beauty blender is (neither have I, actually, and I consider myself fairly normal!). She likes the idea of make up, her friend gave her a set for her birthday but she’s at the playing with it stage - she doesn’t know or care about brands and is fine with me only allowing her to wear it very occasionally (and only really at home!).

DD would rather be out on her bike or the trampoline and I’d say most of the girls in her class are similar. There are one or two who are more fashion conscious, but they’re the exception rather than the rule.

I have an 8 year old and neither she, nor any of her friends are like this. Plenty of bowling/trampolining parties, birthday tea parties, stick on earrings and glitter tattoos. I've not heard any mention of skin care so far.

Long may it last.

Its down to individual parents. DD had a few friends who were a bit like this but they generally had mums who were either very young or were very image conscious themselves. DD and her other friends liked maybe a bit of nail varnish and dressing up but her parties were pony riding, high ropes, swimming, crafts and I wouldn't have wasted my money on expensive skincare or Stanley cups for a kid.

I see it through my work. Its not normal around that age. The group of girls who are like that tend to have been very over exposed to social media, phones etc from a very young age (think age 3 or 4). There mums also normally see there daughters as more mature than there peers when in reality they are very over exposed to inappropriate content and being pushed to grow up to soon. This can make friendships really tricky for them and cause issues long term because developmentally they miss key stages.

Its not common though at that age thankfully. These groups of girls tend to be in the minority as its not healthy for them.

My daughter started getting into makeup etc towards the end of year 6, def yr 7 on secondary school in a much bigger way, so age 11/12. Id say this is about right for ‘tweens’ becoming more fashion conscious, but did also coincide with letting her watch tik tok and I think friends become more of an influence.

she likes her ‘brands’ but I would never dream of her friends giving her expensive products as gifts- I’m obviously in the wrong tax bracket if this is the norm for your friend and at that age surely there is a fair amount of parental encouragement.

my daughters 8th birthday was a trip to go ice skating and McDonald’s, and gifts were colouring pens, stickers and beeny boos!!

Some are like that. Some aren't. Some never become like that.

This is going to be unpopular but how about not buying expensive makeup and only give her pocket money. No way would I have beeb allowed this, even Xmas we didn't get much it teaches them to appreciate things and influencers no words but money making.

Does not surprise me, but 8 and make up brands that exoensive ????

It is sad :(
My daughter got like that at secondary but prior to that was still into child stuff

My 8 year old has an iPhone 17 and make up on her Christmas list. She can ask for it, but she’s not getting it! She has limited access to YouTube and none to TikTok or Instagram but she has older siblings and friends who talk. Saying that, she does have some make up which she might put on for a party.

I don’t think Stanley cups are in the same league as expensive makeup. I don’t get the appeal really but they have a use. It’s just another “must have” and the brand ones seem fairly robust.

I don’t see many girls in her year like this, so plenty of parents must say no! We’re in a fairly affluent area of a big city. Big school. By year 6, there seems to be a real range, some are “older” and some are still young children. Most are somewhere in the middle.

Wow, that does feel quite grown-up for 8! Kids’ interests definitely seem to be shifting younger these days.

My daughter started on make up at 11 (year 6 of Primary). I never encouraged it, or allowed a phone till secondary. Similarly I never encouraged brands or fashion. At 13 she has Sephora make-up, branded trainers and converse. No uggs though.

It amazes me how many parents let their 12/13 year olds have gel nails and professionally coloured hair. Not permitted this.

DN’s are 11 & 9. The 11 year old has just got into make up starting high school but she is neurodiverse and it’s more about “fitting in”. Still loves to collect sticks walking in the woods!
the 9 year old is very much her own person & not remotely interested in trends! Plus in a v nice ‘ young’ class. She’s all about karate & manga drawing.
but children I see through work do seem to be OP described, got a few parents saying their 7 year old aren’t asking for toys for Xmas as they’re “too old” which is heartbreaking!

Maybe it's a coincidence, but the girls in DD's class with smartphones and access to TikTok and Snapchat etc were also the ones obsessed with appearance and make up (and the ones who got in trouble for bullying and inappropriate phone use).

No - my DD is 7.5 still likes toys, is getting toys for Christmas. Make up is still fancy dress / pretending . Friends similar.

My DD is at a small private school and the other parents are a very sensible bunch, massive movement amongst the parent community against mobile phones / kids wearing make up etc. This may be a factor

My daughter is 10 and some of the girls in her class seem to be quite grown up. I think at this age, they’re still kids but think they’re older so it’s important to try and keep them kids and not teenagers too early. My daughter’s the only one without a phone (her friends have them because parents are separated so it’s helped me hold off by giving that reason and not that we’re mean parents 🤣). My daughter also likes makeup but not expensive and still “fun”, maybe mascara, lip gloss etc. nothing more.
It’s really hard to hold it off and not let in to the pressure of “so and so has this”.
I remember being 10 and still loving my teddies and Polly pockets!