Is this really what primary school kids are like?

[HopelesslyNaive98]

Colleague’s child recently had their 8th birthday. Photos they posted showed child receiving make up from fairly pricy brands (ie. Sephora, Benefit etc.), beauty blenders snd similar, Uggs, and a Stanley cup. Birthday outing appeared to involve having make up done in store, more make up shopping, and clothes shopping in teen/adult focused shops.

Don’t get me wrong, I was desperate to put on a bit of make up as a little girl but it was a bit of body glitter and some lip gloss that came free with a Top of the Pops magazine. Equally clothes were Gap Kids and H&M, not River Island and Lipsy.

My kids are 7 and 6 so maybe I’m just totally naive about what’s to come. I just thought there was a few more years of childhood left!

Definitely not at age 8 here, at that age it was all about Lego, crafts and books. DD has just turned 11, and does now love River Island, but lives in flares and t-shirts so I’m okay with that. Her only crop top is a sporty one from Next which extends to part-way down her rib cage and is worn for gymnastics, as she doesn’t need to worry about it going over her head when cartwheeling/tumbling etc. She doesn’t have any social media access, but when out shopping recently did ask to go in Sephora because “it’s cool and I want to be able to say I went in”. Fair enough, she’s 11, I remember how important it was to fit in at that age. She came out with a lip balm and a shower gel. The number of young girls in there, many clearly a few years younger than DD, was remarkable.

What was an eye opener was when there was a school disco at her school recently, and four girls in her class arrived in very short body con dresses with tiny straps, perfectly applied make-up, and hair which looked as though it could have been professionally styled. I know there have always been groups of girls who look and act much older than their actual age, but I hadn’t seen it so much in DD’s class until that school disco.

The real "Must Have" item amongst girls that age is the 3D printed dragons

Yep and still the same at age 12 here

My DD and her classmates weren’t like that at 8, and things haven’t changed even now they’re 10 (in Year 6). Parties are still mainly soft play/ trampoline parks etc, plus one party at Lush making bath bombs.

I think it is probably peer group/ school culture dependent - my DD’s primary is a smartphone free school and the parents of her classmates all agree on no smartphones, and no social media access. No doubt this will change at secondary, but it means that DD’s classmates don’t seem to be aware of these kind of beauty routines and must have items, which seem to be promoted on TikTok and Instagram . The last ‘in thing’ in her class was a particular type of pen (Legami pens)!

It always says more about the kids than the parents.

The kids who are all branded on everything have brand obsessed parents desperate for their kids to be cool. Or the kids have older siblings and the parents don't like dealing with age related issues resulting from this. Or the kids have inappropriate levels of internet access.

If the kids want these things but parents aren't into all this, they will maybe get one or two items like this from pester power. Otherwise the parents will firmly say either to the kid or privately, that they are simply too young.

It's all about the ability to say no.

If a kid is being bullied for not having these items you deal with the bullying, you don't give them 'stuff'. Not at 8.

As a rule the bullying over stuff doesn't really start until year 6 when the kids really become fully aware of being cool or not cool. So at age 8 you really shouldn't be indulging the crap otherwise you are screwed for teenage years.

I’m glad I didn’t have girls I wouldn’t know where to start with all that! At 8 my boys had wacky warehouse (softplay) birthday parties. They did go through a phase of buying expensive fragrance at about 13 and yes it was from watching tik tok and I don’t have any perfume that expensive, but at least they smell nice!

Yes those things are part of the landscape at that age. But dd's young and hip teacher has a fake Stanley Cup so she has one too. If she's drinking water you go with it.
A trip to Sephora excites her so much. But so does a muddy walk with a dog.
She loved dressing up for the school disco but she isn't bringing the sexualised ideas that you're carrying she just thinks she looks pretty. I was torn but went with it.
Just because it's different it's not necessarily bad

Exactly this tiktok and you tube are the cause of this

My dd is about to turn 11 and she and her friends are into animals, basketball, Lego, crafts, etc. There are some girls in the class who are into fashion and beauty but they are a minority and certainly my DD’s friends find it all a bit embarrassing and a waste of time that could be spent bouncing on a trampoline.

I notice that the girls who are into fashion and beauty are also the ones who have had phones from a young age and spend an awful lot of time watching TikTok and YouTube influencers.

I don't have girls but my neice is 8. She does like makeup and nails stuff, but she also likes scooters and crafts. She will get some makeup bits but not high end brands, usually the cheap bits more designed for kids to mess about with. Also, she has had a pamper party at a salon, these are quite common but usually geared to kids with hair braiding and glitter type activitiy.
I do think kids are growing up quicker in some ways, they have access to more information than we ever did.
Its weird though as they seem to be in teen mode longer nowdays too. They are putting on makeup from age 8 but not moving out until age 25. It's a very different world!

I used to teach Y4 and it was definitely a thing (left teaching two years ago). Certain type of mum as PP have said, “I’m super cool and my Mini Me is my best friend” type who would actively encourage it. Very sad and not healthy - no one will convince me it is a good thing to encourage kids this young to be so obsessed with their image 😢

I felt the same recently when I went to a 4 yo birthday party, and parents were blasting pop music for the kids (about 1.5-5 yo) to dance on. The only "child" song I recognise was the main theme from Frozen.

My son (3.5) wasn't engaging at all, so the dad asked me what was his favourite song was so he could play it. I wasn't sure how to respond "wheels on the bus" or "baby shark" with Britney Spears shouting in the background...

Its definitely a mix of premature social media exposure and 'my daughter is my bestie' mums.

I think it's crazy at that age but I would say in the minority. Even when I was a kid, there was always 1 or 2 girls who were interested in much older things.
DD and I went shopping on Monday and we twice saw a mum and two daughters. First time was in Bershka, where we both noticed the younger girl, 8 or 9, had been trying on tops. She was dressed like a teen, vest top, oversized joggers with the waistband folded over. We then saw them in SpaceNK where she was asking for some expensive makeup item. Mum was clearly very image conscious. It just seemed sad, the older daughter looked quite bored in SpaceNK!

Kids here run the entire gamut from that to playing in the dirt. I just saw an insta post on my daughter's dance school insta that was a birthday party for children in my son's class and it could have been adults or teenagers. They were turning 9. Had a private karaoke room and their makeup and hair done professionally and were dancing around like I did at 18.

My daughter is 12 and doesn't wear or care about makeup. So very much on the other end of the spectrum.

My daughter is 12 and just started experimenting with a bit of makeup - mainly in mt bathroom mirror when she is bored. It is even ar 12 not her priorit when it comes to what she wants for Xmas and I am shocked when I see 12 year old hauls that they only really seem to include make up skin care etc clothes and shoes. She would appreciate a couple of bits of make up but it isn’t the overloading majority of her list - which includes - a ghetto blaster 🙈 headphones, CDs , cassette tapes , manga books and anime figures.

Jeez no not mine. Surely if this child is 8 and you have a 7 year old you know this though?

I have a couple of friends with 2 and 3 year old daughters who are regularly covered in nail varnish (not kids nail varnish), bits of make up, hair stuff. And in both cases the parents will say things like "Oh Lucy demanded that I buy her that sparkly nail varnish, what a little diva, hahahahahaha".

Maybe as the mum of a typical boy, I just don't get it (thank god) but I think it's bullshit. They seem so desperate to advance these toddlers into teenagers and I don't know why. It is ALWAYS with the notion of the child be a "diva" and something they're naturally like, rather than a parent thrusting them head first into it.

Not typical imo but a good indication of certain parents...

At the primary school my kids went to only one girl was made up each day and even wore a thong... she was identical to her mother!

Children should have childhoods.... a bit of dressing up now and again is of course normal.

The idea of eight year olds having those sorts of presents and parties really depresses me. What has happened to childhood? Why on earth would a parent want their child to be so focused on their appearance?

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-67993618

Instagram and shallow, vacuous “influencers” are eroding childhood as we know it. To aspire to be known as someone so irrelevant is truly mind boggling.

Not here. In fact you would be looked down upon if you’re growing your kid up so fast like that.

My dd is 9. For her 8th birthday she had barbies, clothes for her baby, curlers for her hair , a new till, some makeup and rollerboots. A mixture that I think is right for a girl who's in between age groups.

I have an 8yo DD, and sadly lots of the girls in her year are just like that. DD is very young for her age, so she's struggled to fit in. It doesn't help that I have absolutely no interest in clothes, make up or trends, so I won't be able to help her out!