To think that “fatphobia” is sometimes just discomfort with the truth about health?

MeasuredOnyxSwan · 2025-10-29T08:40:00+00:00

Not always but sometimes. We’ve turned every health comment into oppression. When did personal responsibility become offensive?

randomchap · 29/10/2025 08:42

Nice goady post. This will go well.

tryingtobesogood · 29/10/2025 08:45

Sigh …

MJMa · 29/10/2025 08:46

Meh. Trust me people who are fat know they are fat. Let’s not try and dress it up as concern.

PracticalPixie · 29/10/2025 08:47

I don't think it's always about health.

Kim K used WLIs to get skinnier when she was clearly not overweight and I know a few people IRL doing the same. It's like a fashion or maybe a status thing for some people.

I also think if you asked image conscious people if they'd rather be really fat and healthy or really thin and unhealthy, they'd pick the second one..?

I think people like you op mistake people not wanting to be treated like shit for being fat, for people promoting being fat. You do see the difference i hope?

Anyway, yes, this is very goady and will descend into nonsense soon.

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 08:50

Well I agree. I don't get it. When I was fat (relatively so for me) and my husband hinted to it (usually just mentioning I'd look like I'd put on weight recently), I would just agree with him. It was the truth. I didn't like how I looked and feel. I knew I needed to lose weight and hearing from others helped me faced to it.

If anything, its the opposite that wounded me up. People saying I wasn't fat at all, looked great etc...No, I didn't! I've lost the weight and now all I get is seemingly worry that I'm not eating enough, looking skinny etc... So annoying.

We are a society suffering from an obesity crisis that has lost perspective on what is healthy and gets all offended when reminded of it. Sometimes the truth hurts but is also what needs to be heard.

Bumdrops · 29/10/2025 08:51

OP - I agree there is something about ‘cancelling’ discussion about the health consequences of obesity as part of the let’s not upset people / body positivity camps ..

BUT at the same time no one is unaware that being overweight causes multiple health problems

most people are aware that it is extremely hard to lose weight, especially if there has been obesity in childhood, from peri- menopause, with certain health disorders

society has very much responsibility for the explosion in obesity since the 1980’s …
obesity was much rarer before the cereals / snacking / fast food industries really took off ..

people have been tricked into become obese
then shamed and blamed for being obese

OP - the personal responsibility you refer to is complex, don’t add to the shame / blame culture - do better than that !!

PracticalPixie · 29/10/2025 08:52

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 08:50

Well I agree. I don't get it. When I was fat (relatively so for me) and my husband hinted to it (usually just mentioning I'd look like I'd put on weight recently), I would just agree with him. It was the truth. I didn't like how I looked and feel. I knew I needed to lose weight and hearing from others helped me faced to it.

If anything, its the opposite that wounded me up. People saying I wasn't fat at all, looked great etc...No, I didn't! I've lost the weight and now all I get is seemingly worry that I'm not eating enough, looking skinny etc... So annoying.

We are a society suffering from an obesity crisis that has lost perspective on what is healthy and gets all offended when reminded of it. Sometimes the truth hurts but is also what needs to be heard.

You understand that someone you are married to, gently telling you that you are fat in passing is not fat phobia?

Viol3tta · 29/10/2025 08:52

We have lost sight of what’s healthy. I particularly worry for children. In the 90s, there’d be one or two overweight kids in a class but now it’s about half of them.

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 08:53

Trust me people who are fat know they are fat. Let’s not try and dress it up as concern
Why assume it doesn't come from a genuine sense of concern? I am concerned with my adult daughter's weight. Not so much for now but how it might affect her in years to come. Thankfully she agrees with me and when we talk about it, we do so shamelessly but also without blame. She is not judged. She knows that.

Original poster

MeasuredOnyxSwan · 29/10/2025 08:54

PracticalPixie · 29/10/2025 08:47

I don't think it's always about health.

Kim K used WLIs to get skinnier when she was clearly not overweight and I know a few people IRL doing the same. It's like a fashion or maybe a status thing for some people.

I also think if you asked image conscious people if they'd rather be really fat and healthy or really thin and unhealthy, they'd pick the second one..?

I think people like you op mistake people not wanting to be treated like shit for being fat, for people promoting being fat. You do see the difference i hope?

Anyway, yes, this is very goady and will descend into nonsense soon.

Edited

I agree that body image culture and social status play a huge role too. And yes, I do see the difference, I’m not saying people should be treated badly for their size, just that health facts and compassion shouldn’t have to cancel each other out. You’re right though, it’s such a touchy topic that it probably will descend into chaos soon 😅

OP posts:

MJMa · 29/10/2025 08:54

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 08:53

Trust me people who are fat know they are fat. Let’s not try and dress it up as concern
Why assume it doesn't come from a genuine sense of concern? I am concerned with my adult daughter's weight. Not so much for now but how it might affect her in years to come. Thankfully she agrees with me and when we talk about it, we do so shamelessly but also without blame. She is not judged. She knows that.

I’m not talking about you or your daughter. More society in general. Of course you’d be concerned for your kid.

PracticalPixie · 29/10/2025 08:56

Fatphobia is the "unreasonable dislike or unfair treatment of people because they are fat"

It is not your doctor, or your husband saying you've gained weight. Unless they discriminate against you or dislike you because of your weight, which is obviously an issue

(Cambridge Dictionary definition)

PracticalPixie · 29/10/2025 08:57

It is also not a mother being concerned for her daughter.

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 08:58

BUT at the same time no one is unaware that being overweight causes multiple health problems
I totally disagree with that. I think when it comes to themselves, there is a belief that they are really not that bad, that they can walk up the stairs without needing to stop to catch their breath, as if that's an accomplishment when they are still young and should be able to run up these stairs.

This false belief is then reinforced by our society,so that yes, people know the risk of how being overweight can affect them linger term, but they are not really that fat are they? And they are healthy....until it catches up with them in their 50s, 60s and then it's too late!

TaupeRaven · 29/10/2025 08:59

I think your post is goady, and you've totally failed to acknowledge the difference between a genuine health promoting conversation and people being dehumanised over their size.

I've been a size 26, and am now a size 10. People pretending I don't exist, judging me for eating any kind of food in public, and disregarding health issues entirely unrelated to weight are all things that just don't happen now that I'm slim. Are you telling me these behaviours were all concerns for my health?

Screamingabdabz · 29/10/2025 09:00

We get it. You’re repulsed by fat people and see it as a moral failing. You are so much more superior in every way.

Happy now?

PracticalPixie · 29/10/2025 09:00

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 08:58

BUT at the same time no one is unaware that being overweight causes multiple health problems
I totally disagree with that. I think when it comes to themselves, there is a belief that they are really not that bad, that they can walk up the stairs without needing to stop to catch their breath, as if that's an accomplishment when they are still young and should be able to run up these stairs.

This false belief is then reinforced by our society,so that yes, people know the risk of how being overweight can affect them linger term, but they are not really that fat are they? And they are healthy....until it catches up with them in their 50s, 60s and then it's too late!

But surely, your response to this is not to discriminate against people because of their size and to dislike them purely based on their body mass? That is what fatphobia, excuse me "fatphobia", is

MJMa · 29/10/2025 09:00

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 08:58

BUT at the same time no one is unaware that being overweight causes multiple health problems
I totally disagree with that. I think when it comes to themselves, there is a belief that they are really not that bad, that they can walk up the stairs without needing to stop to catch their breath, as if that's an accomplishment when they are still young and should be able to run up these stairs.

This false belief is then reinforced by our society,so that yes, people know the risk of how being overweight can affect them linger term, but they are not really that fat are they? And they are healthy....until it catches up with them in their 50s, 60s and then it's too late!

Yeah that’s bollocks. As a former fat person you know you are fat. Being fat doesn’t equate dumb.

MagicLoop · 29/10/2025 09:01

YABU. 'Fatphobia' generally means being discriminatory or unpleasant to or about people due to their weight. People who behave like this might try to dress that up as concern about an individual's health or as worry about the obesity crisis, but it's usually pretty obvious when it's actually just judgmental nastiness.

Of course there's nothing offensive about taking personal responsibility. Gazillions of people are taking personal responsibility constantly by trying to lose weight, exercise and eat healthily. That doesn't mean it's helpful or pleasant for real-life ignorant smug arses or fatphobic keyboard warriors to bang on about other people's personal responsibility or lack of it though (conveniently ignoring all the societal problems and food production issues, not to mention the increasing scientific evidence that it's not as simple as calories and willpower).

People who go on about fat people are a bit like out-and-proud grammar pedants. They both faux-naïvely act as though they are criticising in order to help others, when all they are really doing is trying to assert their supposed superiority and helping absolutely nobody.

SushiForMe · 29/10/2025 09:02

This got me thinking: why is it socially acceptable to tell someone that they are slowly killing themselves because they are a smoker or a drinker but not because they eat too much/unhealthy?
Even when it is coming from a health professional, nobody would complain about their GP telling them their smoking is causing their symptoms / they need to stop before receiving treatment - but they would if it was about being too fat (caused by food intake, not medication or medical condition)

vivainsomnia · 29/10/2025 09:02

Kim K used WLIs to get skinnier when she was clearly not overweight and I know a few people IRL doing the same
You don't know that though. At my 'fattest, I was only a bit over 9 stones, in the normal bmi range. A size 10, I looked well....except I wasn't. My body fat percentage was almost 35% and had high cholesterol. I was fat...for me. Because I'm very petite and small bones, which means that was is healthy for me is the bottom range of the normal bmi. At the lowest, I'm good, at the highest of normal, I'm actually fat. But I looked fine, especially in clothing.

LeafyMcLeafFace · 29/10/2025 09:03

PracticalPixie · 29/10/2025 08:57

It is also not a mother being concerned for her daughter.

But even talking to your daughter about your concerns is frowned upon because ‘trust me, she knows she’s overweight’

MJMa · 29/10/2025 09:04

SushiForMe · 29/10/2025 09:02

This got me thinking: why is it socially acceptable to tell someone that they are slowly killing themselves because they are a smoker or a drinker but not because they eat too much/unhealthy?
Even when it is coming from a health professional, nobody would complain about their GP telling them their smoking is causing their symptoms / they need to stop before receiving treatment - but they would if it was about being too fat (caused by food intake, not medication or medical condition)

No they don’t. A health professional is very different. Also that’s not what the term fatphobia means.

Original poster

MeasuredOnyxSwan · 29/10/2025 09:05

TaupeRaven · 29/10/2025 08:59

I think your post is goady, and you've totally failed to acknowledge the difference between a genuine health promoting conversation and people being dehumanised over their size.

I've been a size 26, and am now a size 10. People pretending I don't exist, judging me for eating any kind of food in public, and disregarding health issues entirely unrelated to weight are all things that just don't happen now that I'm slim. Are you telling me these behaviours were all concerns for my health?

Those kind of reactions aren’t about health at all, they’re just cruelty and bias. My point wasn’t to excuse that or blur the difference between concern and dehumanisation, more that sometimes “fatphobia” gets used to shut down any discussion of health altogether, even when it’s raised respectfully.

OP posts:

Gannety · 29/10/2025 09:05

What is the point of this post? A vapid sound bite not even attempting to grapple with the complexity of the issue? Do you think you've said anything even faintly meaningful here?