‘Excuse me’ - why the reaction??

[Nakedmoleratapprecoationsociety]

In the last few months I’ve really noticed an increase in people who take great offence to the phrase ‘excuse me.’

DS saying excuse me to a teacher, obstructing the pedestrian gates, who snapped ‘wait a second.’ He waited several moments before asking so it wasn’t as though he walked up and said it.

I said excuse me to someone in Waitrose who was obstructing the cheese with their trolley whilst they took a call. Got an eye roll and a nasty look.

A pregnant woman on the train said ‘excuse me’ to someone obstructing the aisle she could get to a seat. Got a tonne of abuse.

Ive got so many more examples, both of friends/family and myself. I don’t get it. Would people rather people said ‘oi, fuck off out my way you ignorant tosser’? Am I missing something? Is ‘excuse me’ now rude or aggressive?!

No, but I think society at large has come to be.

I suspect that it might depend on the tone. If we aren't there we can't tell.

When you can't even get to the cheese at Waitrose you know society is screwed.

🤣🤣🤣

And OP has been proved right already! ‘Your son must have had a tone’

People are just scum, OP.

I can't say I've noticed this but it sounds horrible!

Could it be a rural/urban thing I wonder?

There seems to be a disproportionate number of arseholes out there these days, so it doesn’t surprise me. I have generally tried to lower my expectations when it comes to good manners, otherwise I’d spend most of my time feeling annoyed.

Some people do have impatient tones. Context is everything

Excuse me doesn't say much and leaves the other person to infer the intention behind it. I think it can sound abrupt.

Large family taking up all the path yesterday, I said could I just squeeze through. If I'd said just excuse me it might have sounded to the people on the path more like 'excuse me, you're in my way.'

In a supermarket could I just grab some tomato soup sounds more like you're just going to be in and out while they make their decision, 'excuse me' can sound like you want them out of the way as you feel you have more right to hover over the fridge than them.

I personally don’t think it’s rude to say excuse me as a blanket rule, but I think there is a lot to be said for the actual circumstances, tone etc.

I’m 9 months pregnant and was at a Halloween event with my daughter at the weekend queueing just like everybody else was and twice people did the “excuse me” to try and squeeze past and peak ahead. They may not have said something particularly rude but it absolutely did feel rude when we were all stood waiting, I’m the size of a small vehicle + carrying a toddler so I don’t really have the ability to “squeeze” into a gap, and there was no real rush as we were all in a queue anyway.

I've been lamenting the death of 'excuse me' for a while. Usually now people just glare at you, or say 'I need to get by' and I'm silently in my head saying 'The words you need are EXCUSE ME' 🤨

I got told something along the lines of ‘0h someone too important to wait’ when I said excuse me to a man whose trolley was blocking the yogurt section in Aldi. He wasn’t picking anything his wife was and he was just stood there. He still didn’t move his trolley so I moved it for him. That really made him cross:) Maybe that is how an ‘excuse me’ makes other inadequate rude dicks feel too.

I always say excuse me please, and have never had an issue.
Perhaps the 'please' turns it into a polite request, rather than a rather sarcastic way of saying get out of my way.

Social etiquette is so odd these days. Yesterday I got on the tube and a young man kindly offered me his seat. I said, 'No thank you, I'm only going two stops but thanks for offering,' with a smile and he scowled and shrugged as if I had personally offended him. It's possible that for a fraction of a second my face reacted to the thought, 'Shit do I look that old now?' But I was very civil to him and he was very miffed in return.

Agree with pp, you need to say please on the end otherwise it sounds like an order instead of a request. Try it!😀

I always say excuse me please and don't think anyone has ever had a problem with it.
Edited to add
Without the please it always reminds me of when I was younger and being a bit mischievous and an adult would say excuse me what do you think you are doing?

I hadn't thought about it till you said it, but I think I've already subconsciously adapted by saying "sorry" when I mean "excuse me".

People are just so angry and defensive all of the time now it feels. They will even interpret good manners as an attack!

I’ve noticed that the “please” has been dropped. “Excuse me please” sounds so much better

I don't think your examples are particularly rude (but it does depend on tone), but I have noticed a rise in people saying "excuse me" when they really mean "I think my time is more important than yours, so step back and let me go in front of you, even though we're both trying to do the same thing". Particularly noticeable in the supermarket, when you're looking at a shelf, someone barks "excuse me", then proceeds to push in front of you and start browsing the shelf themselves while you're waiting behind them. Its almost as if they think saying "excuse me" makes it OK for them to push in front of people, which obviously it doesn't.

Why would you call people scum? That’s so horrible. Chill out.

”Excuse me” can, and often is, said in a rude/impatient tone. Now I think about it, I think I always say “Excuse me please” or “ I’m sorry- could you excuse me?”