‘Excuse me’ - why the reaction??

[Nakedmoleratapprecoationsociety]

In the last few months I’ve really noticed an increase in people who take great offence to the phrase ‘excuse me.’

DS saying excuse me to a teacher, obstructing the pedestrian gates, who snapped ‘wait a second.’ He waited several moments before asking so it wasn’t as though he walked up and said it.

I said excuse me to someone in Waitrose who was obstructing the cheese with their trolley whilst they took a call. Got an eye roll and a nasty look.

A pregnant woman on the train said ‘excuse me’ to someone obstructing the aisle she could get to a seat. Got a tonne of abuse.

Ive got so many more examples, both of friends/family and myself. I don’t get it. Would people rather people said ‘oi, fuck off out my way you ignorant tosser’? Am I missing something? Is ‘excuse me’ now rude or aggressive?!

Yes, it’s the lack of a please at the end that may be what offended the people in your examples OP.

I must prefer “Excuse me” to “sorry” as the latter fuckers are already reaching across me or whatever.
I am guilty of saying “Excuse me” in a tone to people stopping at a door when people are waiting to pass through. They drive me mad, like no one else in the world exist and they have no spacial awareness.

You are not wrong. I have noticed this recently that nobody says excuse me anymore, they just expect you to move. And if you do say it, they look as though you have just farted in their face.

Yep, as others have said - it needs a 'please'. You're asking to be excused, not demanding it. Also, tone, obviously, because 'excuse me, please' can also sound a bit peremptory. I think I'd usually say, 'sorry, can I just come through there?' tbh. People barking 'excuse me' can sound pretty rude.

Oh deffo!

People are just scum

I mean, mild irritability isn't really what I'd call a 'scum' level of offence. It's hardly akin to drop-kicking a puppy.

People are stupid. Some now think "excuse me" is rude and should say "sorry" instead.

I don’t think I ever say excuse me, I tend to say ‘sorry, can I just get past you please’.

This is the norm now

This is such a British thread 🤣

"How many times is it appropriate to say 'sorry' to reach the cheese in Waitrose?"

I find most non native English speakers use ‘excuse me’ as more of a command and it comes out bloody rude. I guess they don’t know the meaning of it and think it’s a free pass to elbow their way past you.

Excuse me on its own can be a bit abrupt and agree with PP tone is everything.

Yes, the entire world is going to hell in a hand basket because you have experienced a few people doing weird things.

Are you saying please?

I don't understand it either. I saw a lady with a small baby in a pram passing through the wide gates at a train station. There were people standing right behind the gate and she could not get past them with her pram.

She said excuse me please very politely. She was ignored. She said it a couple more times and still she was ignored. They saw her as they looked at her and carried on talking.

She finally yelled EXCUSE ME I AM GOING TO MISS MY TRAIN.

They finally rutted and moved over and said how rude she was once she had passed

Where the hell did people's manners and self awareness go.

Same with huge groups of people chatting on pavements - they ignore excuse me ao you ended up in the road the pass them.

I don’t know if it’s a new thing or it’s always been this way, but I think (for some reason) “excuse me” does sound slightly more aggressive (I don’t know why, shouldn’t be that way) than “sorry”. Thinking about it, when someone’s in my way in a shop I tend to say “sorry” or “sorry can I just squeeze through” rather than excuse me, for that reason. So bloody British! I do find myself getting slightly annoyed when someone just says “excuse me” to me. Ridiculous really that we’ve descended into this paranoid politeness!
Has it always been like this?!

I only ever say, excuse me please. So someone just saying excuse me personally comes across rude in my opinion.

Did anyone say please, thst might help.

I find "excuse me" quite rude, and I find "excuse me please" to be just as rude. It sounds abrupt and passive aggressive. It's basically saying "get out of my way".

If someone is blocking the aisle with their trolley I'll say "Sorry" quite loudly and they usually turn around. I follow it up with a 'Thank you' pretty quickly.

If I need to squeeze out of a train seat passed someone I'll start moving and say "Sorry" in an apologetic tone.

If someone is in the way when I'm trying to get to a shelf in the shop I'll either wait for them to move, or say "So sorry, is it ok to just squeeze past? Thanks so much".

The only time I'll say "excuse me" is if I'm trying to get someone's attention because they've dropped something. Then it's more like a cheery "Excuse me! You've dropped your glove!"

My DS often says excuse me when I’m busy and in his way but he has waited less than a second and expects me to move so I tell him no he can wait and I’ll move when I’m done, assuming it’s less than a minute, which it usually is.

A worker in Iceland yesterday said a really sharp ‘excuse me’ as I was browsing and he was stocking the shelf. Made me jump and yes it came across as rude - the tone I assume.

I tend to say ‘sorry’ if I’m navigating past someone or I wait longer than probably necessary and they tend to move eventually. That never really gets me any eye rolls or sharp inhales so I keep doing it as I can’t be bothered with drama.

It's been hijacked as a way of saying that someone is in the way and slowing down your very important life. Original it was the tone that indicated that was how people were using it, but now it's nearly always taken as meaning that even without the tone.
Add the 'sorry' straight after and a thanks when they begin to move, with a smile, and all is generally good.

Excuse me please is much better.

Yes-I’ve also noticed this. People get defensive!

Nobody said that. You've made that up. They said "it depends on the tone" which it DOES. I've had people say excuse me to me in a ridiculously impatient and somewhat aggressive tone, maybe if I haven't noticed them trying to get past in the supermarket when it's busy or something. If the child/mother is saying it with that kind of tone, you can understand the reaction.

Whenever I say excuse me, I say it gently and politely, and without exception the response is something like "oh sorry love" and they let me pass.

Politeness costs nothing. Attitude and the thought that where YOU need to be is more important than anything and anyone else really is the problem.

If you feel like everyone around you has an attitude towards you..... yeah, maybe YOU are the problem.

Haha i think i am one of these people - I find 'excuse me' rude and abit pushy , I always say 'sorry' by default and somehow feel it's more considerate and less of a demand.

Im not saying I am right, but thats how I feel in the moment and my face probably reflects it.