‘Excuse me’ - why the reaction??

[Nakedmoleratapprecoationsociety]

In the last few months I’ve really noticed an increase in people who take great offence to the phrase ‘excuse me.’

DS saying excuse me to a teacher, obstructing the pedestrian gates, who snapped ‘wait a second.’ He waited several moments before asking so it wasn’t as though he walked up and said it.

I said excuse me to someone in Waitrose who was obstructing the cheese with their trolley whilst they took a call. Got an eye roll and a nasty look.

A pregnant woman on the train said ‘excuse me’ to someone obstructing the aisle she could get to a seat. Got a tonne of abuse.

Ive got so many more examples, both of friends/family and myself. I don’t get it. Would people rather people said ‘oi, fuck off out my way you ignorant tosser’? Am I missing something? Is ‘excuse me’ now rude or aggressive?!

You should try "BEEP BEEP" instead... Works a treat with my toddlers!

Did everyone applaud too?

Excuse me sounds rude. Excuse me please sounds polite.

Except you didn’t really did you?

Please say please, excuse me sounds rude without it

‘Sorry excuse me’ is polite and does it.

excuse me with a slapped arse face is the problem

Try “Sorry, do you mind if I squeeze past / grab that cheese?” Works for me.

There’s ways and ways! If DSis said it, I think even you would get upset OP. She is just rude and is always huffing and puffing “excuse me” with the occasional “please”. Passive aggressive!

Whereas if it was me, you wouldn’t, I am polite.

But I have noticed there are a lot of oblivious people who just block everywhere and there is also an impatience where people may not realise that others were just about to make a move and if one had just waited a second or two longer there would be no need for the “excuse me please”.

It’s polite but can sound abrupt without a nice word on the end or nice tone, it’s all about the delivery. I’ve known people say it impatiently and grumpily

I haven't heard anyone say excuse me for years. Mostly people tend to just say "could I just get to the cheese please" or "could I just squeeze by", or something along those lines. I think it's still appropriate for a child to say "excuse me please" to an adult though.

I said it today in Lidl. Three people spread across the aisle having a very important discussion about crisps.
I said "excuse me" and they moved with a small apology.

I agree. I think the 'please' makes all the difference.

I never have trouble with “excuse me please”

I’d die if I expected people to be polite or consider the impact they have on the world around them. Most times in supermarkets I’ll just wait or walk around and circle back to get to things I need. Typical British internal conversations happening of course. Swift apology at the ready in case I dare obstruct them

I think if you are just saying "Excuse me" without a please on the end, it can come across as rude.

But surely “Excuse me” is already a politeness formula? For me, “excuse me” seems like a request. “Excuse me please” sounds more as if you expect to be obeyed.

That really gets me too. I get this at my gym when someone says excuse me to get to their locker when I'm actually getting stuff out of mine so have to wait for them. It's so ingrained in me to be polite that I've got out of their way before I've thought about it. Infuriating!

But if you're just blocking a walkway and being oblivious to everyone else just move and stop whinging.

Some people are just rude these days.
I got told to fuck off when I said excuse me to young boy in Iceland. He can't have been any older than 11.

It can often sound imperious. Bit like ‘I beg your pardon?’, both somewhat anachronistic these days.

I think it’s impatient. I say “can I just… “ but if I have walked in front of someone one or squeezed past I will say “excuse me, sorry”

I think 'excuse me' or 'excuse me, please' used to be perfectly acceptable and understood polite ways of getting people's attention.

But now, especially since covid years, people are failing left right and centre with real life social interactions and see perfectly normal words as 'aggressive' or as 'wanting something they have', in OP's case, actual space for themselves. Bonkers. And sad.

I've never had an issue with it. In some cases I suppose tone might have something to do with it, but in other cases, I find those taking offence are just looking for something to be offended by. I pretty much use it to its meaning - I say "excuse me" or "please excuse me" with the knowledge that I might well be marginally putting someone out, for example the standard people chatting at the exact shelf in the supermarket that I wish to reach.

I've never yet come across someone who took it personally, although I have come across some incredibly odious people. I wonder, though, did you see the teacher doing this? If my child was being polite, I'd be wanting that person to apologise. But perhaps that's just me - if I react like that to someone, once I've cooled off, I go to apologise for being out of order.

😂😂😂

I work in a shop and so many people literally are in their own worlds. Pull them out of it for anything other than something wonderful and their reaction is fight mode. Eg oh this seems to be open (packaging). ‘What?’ angrily and grabs to check. When I say ‘I’ll grab you a new one’ they relax and become cheerier. I’d guess the world is on edge and exhausted and unfortunately it comes out as a bark

I find myself mildly annoyed if someone says “excuse me” to me, not that I would ever show it, because it’s very marginal.

“Excuse me please” would sound better.

Americans always just say “excuse me” and I always think it sounds rather abrupt and entitled. Like “Can’t you see I’m coming through, why haven’t you moved yet?”.

What I say myself, and what elicits the best reaction from me when others say it, is “Sorry, could I just squeeze by?” A funny little phrase that I didn’t realise was a very standard one in British English until relatively recently.

I think if you are asking people to move out of your way you should be humble about it, rather than just expect it.

"Excuse me" can seem quite rude. "Excuse me please" is much more polite.

I'm always amazed at the number of people who haven't to communicate using basic manners.