Would you do a relentless and stressful job if it meant being very, very comfortable?

[cheeseandbranston]

I am dyslexic and dyscalculate so I have struggled to do normal jobs. But I have a couple of skills I’m exceptional at, so have always got by, freelancing doing just those things and avoiding the things I am bad at.

after I got divorced, I really struggled financially (no parents or family) which was really frightening as I live in an expensive city and have two teens. The freelance wasn’t always reliable, and I was responsible for everything, (50/50 divorce, no maintenance)

so I hustled really hard and got an extremely senior job. It puts me in the top 1 percent of earners bracket. We have plenty of money, I take them of lovely holidays and say yes to just about everything. I have a massive mortgage but it is only about a quarter of my take home, I buy lovely furniture and clothes. I save quite a bit every month too.

but I get up at 6 every day, don’t get home until 7 or 8, don’t take lunch breaks, and hardly do anything but work. I often work the mornings on weekends too, until the kids get up. I’ve lost 3 kilos since I started the job from not having time to eat, and I used to exercise every day and now I hardly ever do,

also it’s really stressful. I make mistakes nearly every day which is embarrassing and I have to stand up in front of hundreds of people saying sensitive things that if I were to get wrong they would be huge problems. I’ve had to change other peoples jobs, and be responsible for things I only just understand. My boss has a rotten temper and has been pretty unpleasant on a couple of occasions.

I think it’s unsustainable but maybe it’ll get easier when I’m used to it? I’ve never had a normal job before.

also, I don’t know what else I’d do if I didn’t do this. It’s not the kind of opportunity that will come up again.

would you do it if you were me?

YABU = doing the job.

Yes. You may not get anything nearly as well paid again.

Yep this is me. Work unsustainable hours. Am completely burnt out but can’t leave (yet). I’m very well paid and this is what keeps me in. Honestly its not worth it but I can’t leave until my daughter finishes wxams.

Not forever, no. What I would do is put a time limit on it. That way, I would know that the stress wouldnt be on me indefinitely and an end was in sight.

I would go see a financial advisor, work out exactly how much I needed to save/invest etc and then I would do the job for a maybe up to 3 years or so, save and invest as much as I could to create another income stream.

Then I would leave. Having an exit plan really helps in such a situation.

How long have you been doing the job?

Can you figure out an exit? For example if you stay there 2 more years, save x amount of money, move that to a high interest account and cut back in your spending now, then in2 years time you can shift to a less intensive role. I would look at maximising this high salary for a longer term gain that gets you financially secure so you can live a better life but if you spend it as you earn it, you’ll never feel financially secure ( and always want more).

First off well done for getting there. Even if you don’t stay it’s an achievement to have gotten the job. But ultimately, as far as we all know, we only live once and then we die. So the decisions about how you spend your time are important.

There’s no right or wrong answer here though I’m afraid. And it would very much depend if I could keep my home on a different job but have less luxury.

Nothing as dramatic but I took a down step last year salary wise to do something I loved. I don’t regret but I am wistful of the financial freedom it afforded me. However if I hadn’t done it I’d be unhappy in other ways. So you need to figure out which would be worse and go with which discomfort is easier to live with.

Oof. You sound v stressed. I think you urgently need a work coach - someone who’s used to operating with people working at your level.

I know quite a few people who have stepped up to very senior roles and they have all found it overwhelming at first, but have grown into it. All have made mistakes because they’re human. One ended up on the front page of the Sun, which was pretty traumatic. She has survived.

I may do a maternity cover job next year at a higher level - nothing like yours though! My plan is to save the extra money with the hope that it will give me more options.

I would pay as much as possible off the mortgage, for a couple of years and then leave , or depending on what your skill set is, could you set up your own business training others in this thing?

Cross posted with @lilypetals

How long have you been in the job for? I usually think I should feel petrified for at least 3 months and fairly off balance for at least 6.

I do a fairly stressful job, but it's a top 10% of earners type job, where I have peaks of long hours but not a work 70 hours a week every week type job.

Is it something where you could do it for a few years and then step back and have a really good set up? I.e. mortgage substantiality paid down etc?

Is it something where it will shift to having peaks and troughs?

I couldn't do 70 hours a week for a long time with no plan to change things. I had a career where if I had stayed in a previous organisation and worked my backside off to progress, I could have been earning hundreds of thousands of pounds a year. So that is a decision I have made consciously not a decision I have never had to make.

I don't mind long hours for up to 3 months at a stretch but there has to be some shift back towards normality for me to be able to cope. And frankly once I'm overtired I am much less good at the work I do anyway.

About 4 months

I think you analyse your situation well. Can you recruit more support for you in work? Is your immediate team tight and talented?

This

This is what I would do too….

If you're feeling like that after 4 months you may not cope medium term sadly. But yes, I've done this - basically totally normal working experience but for much lower pay for any doctor and a lot of lawyers and people on the city whilst you climb the ladder. May or may not be better for the senior people and clearly some workaholics thrive on it.
Practical advice- pay off any high interest debt ASAP, save up a cushion in case they fire you & (assuming the mortgage is higher interest than a savings account) pay down the mortgage. Basically you need a plan B & a financial advisor.

I wouldn't, personally. But I'm not someone that wants an expensive house and I'm happy with budget travel.

But this isn't about my life, and what I want, or about anyone else's life and what they want. It's about you, and your life. The job will get easier, as you get more used to it. My current position took me four months to get to the point that I felt I might be able to do it. Now it's generally pretty easy. So my recommendation is to give it a bit more time.

It may only be so stressful because it's still a relatively new role. Give it a year to build your expertise and see how you feel then.

I agree with those saying go and see a financial advisor. They’ll look at everything-income, savings, pension, mortgage and other outgoings and give you options for the future.

To keep the wolf from the door, yes I would.

But you’ve got to put strategies in place to keep your body and mind healthy.

I agree with PP about saving and making an exit plan. But I would also look into anything you can do to make your work-life in the interim more sustainable. I think a work coach would be a great idea. Can I recommend this person (I don't know if recommending is allowed?) https://purple-pebbles.co.uk/

I'd put a timeline on it too and work out my exit plan. Financially comfortable is one thing but you need to protect your health and your relationship with your kids. Maybe do it for a few years and overpay the mortgage hard then downsize?

Its easy to say do the job

Until you have to do the job.

I am "doing the job". I have had to change "the job" as it was physically making me unwell. My timeline was year end. I got a new job in sept and will be out be then - thank God.

We have started to build clear financial plan for me to exit / reduce earning significantly in the next few years.my family are just my priority now.

We also didnt get the super fancy house we got the nice enough house which helps. Right now its 5k per month childcare thats killing me.

Absolutely agree

Given I already do a relentless and stressful job and don’t earn that kind of money, I suppose I’d have to say yes I would.