AIBU to have gone ballistic over DS buying alcohol

[OnePunnyKoala]

It's half term and DS16 met up with his friends. Today I discovered that DS16 attempted to purchase alcohol from a local corner store by using a digitally modified version of his ID. AIBU to have gone ballistic on him?

I agree.
I wouldn't go ballistic but I equally try to talk to my children about the dangers and risks of drinking

Really commonplace thing to do, I was doing it from 14 onwards and I knew the shops I could get served at so frequented those for fags as well.

We live in France. It’s rare to see ados here getting drunk. I’ve been letting DS try my drinks since he was about 10. He’s now 14 and I’ll always offer him a taste; sometimes he accepts, and sometimes he’s not bothered. We discuss wine, the different grapes and so on. He’s learning what he likes, and what doesn’t taste good.

We were at dinner last night and I was so impressed by a table behind us. A group of older teens (prob 18-19) who were all drinking water and Cokes with their meal.

Yes, there are a lot more people going teetotal now.

You think it isn’t normal for teenagers to try and buy alcohol?!? 😂😂

You’re wrong!

I have a feeling the post was meant to spark this chat.. the ‘digitally modified’ reeks of too much information. ‘Fake ID’ would have been sufficient.

But anyway, nah. I was out at the pubs/clubs at 15 after scouting down a girl who was a few years above me but we had similar hair and features, she gave me her provisional license as ID 🤣

Without wanting to get drawn into a long debate about this, I think it’s hideous the way, so many women talk about boys and at least some of us need to push back against it.

Saying that teenage girls are smarter than boys is just bullshit. For sure on average boys take more risks, maybe girls mature earlier but that doesn’t excuse saying girls are smarter than boys, any more than it would be appalling to say to a girl well if you had really good earning potential, i.e. if you were a boy (might sadly be true across-the-board, but we don’t want to play into that bullshit, and it isn’t true on an individual basis,) I have a teen boy who is much more sensible than his female friends, he’s one of those lads that takes care of everybody and make sure everybody is alright. I see the impact on him of the way other adults, teachers , shopkeepers and so on so readily make comments like this, and it stinks. It’s part of the same depressing Venn diagram as gender disappointment, it’s grim and its also rocket fuel for the manosphere which understandably young boys find themselves attracted to when they grow up listening to everybody talking about what predatory immature little shits they are.

our girls, are they really more sensible?

studies have found that girls are drinking as much, if not more, than their male peers, and girls are also initiating alcohol use earlier and engaging in more binge-like alcohol drinking

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5743668/

If you go ballistic at this you’re in for a rocky ride over the next 5 years (said a Mother with a 22 and 21 year old)!

Really good point! It’s the Fake ID I would be worried about. Trying his luck buying booze/ experimenting with alcohol at his age is pretty standard.

I would give him a bit of a fright about the fake ID and have a chat (if you haven’t already) about the difference between a few beers and tanking a bottle of vodka. Help him experiment safely with a few low alcohol drinks at home/safe space.

It think it’s a case of pretty standard behaviour but you can’t be seen to accept or condone it

Thanks for your support, seems most people aren't worried about their children using a fake ID.

I’ve got kids in their early 20s. From about 15 they did consume or somehow buy alcohol if going to parties. So did I when I was that age. One of my kids went through quite a druggy phase in sixth form, which caused me a lot of worry but I tried to keep the dialogue about it less “don’t do that” and more “if you’re going to do that, please also do XYZ” (eg be with friends you can trust to look after you, always call me or have someone call me if you need help, no matter the time of night).

It’s normal for teens to experiment and push boundaries. If you go nuts about it, the likely outcome is they become better at lying/covering it up, when what you want is to educate them about risks and arm them with knowledge about how to stay safe.

My own young adults turned out fine despite their occasional party antics. One went on to get a first class degree and now has a good job, the other one is in last year at uni on track to do well. As a young person I went through a similar experimental phase, which I knew my parents would go mental about so I lied about what I was up to. Quite often got myself into dangerous situations where something bad could have happened. Fortunately it didn’t, but if it had, there is no way I would have called my mum for help because I would have been afraid of the consequences.

I think that lack of support is because this was a teenager with a dodgy ID.

It is not one of the ones listed in the act

Meaning of “identity document”
(1)For the purposes of sections 4 to 6 “identity document” means any document that is or purports to be—
(a)an immigration document,
(b)a United Kingdom passport (within the meaning of the Immigration Act 1971),
(c)a passport issued by or on behalf of the authorities of a country or territory outside the United Kingdom or by or on behalf of an international organisation,
(d)a document that can be used (in some or all circumstances) instead of a passport,
(e)a licence to drive a motor vehicle granted under Part 3 of the Road Traffic 1988 or under Part 2 of the Road Traffic (Northern Ireland) Order 1981, or
(f)a driving licence issued by or on behalf of the authorities of a country or territory outside the United Kingdom.

Pretty typical but def go mad

Definitely worse things to do. Think you need to chill out

I remember undoing my school shirt buttons so my boobs were a bit more visible to get men to go into the shop and buy us cigarettes/alcohol.. lol.