Page 2 | AIBU to have gone ballistic over DS buying alcohol

OnePunnyKoala · 2025-10-27T22:03:36+00:00

It's half term and DS16 met up with his friends. Today I discovered that DS16 attempted to purchase alcohol from a local corner store by using a digitally modified version of his ID. AIBU to have gone ballistic on him?

BlingersMcBling · 27/10/2025 22:31

You are not in the wrong and should definitely kick off a little… but at the same time it’s pretty normal, I did the same as probably most did when we were teenagers . It ain’t that bad, but I wouldn’t condone it. Maybe a little telling off is all that’s needed but you don’t need to go to town, could be far worse!

LarryIsMyRomanEmpire · 27/10/2025 22:32

I used to buy Dd's alcohol at that age, but I'm talking a few cans of dark fruits cider for a party, no spirits.

Driftingawaynow · 27/10/2025 22:34

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/10/2025 22:24

Absolutely standard behaviour - if he were a bit smarter (ie, a girl) he'd have used a shop where he is not familiar to the staff!

Shows confidence though, so thats a plus.

The rollocking he gets for attempting it is also traditional - however if you go too far you make the alcohol much MORE tempting and he will cotton on how to get better at it and not get caught, rather than stop doing it.

Of my peer group, the binge drinkers were the kids of the 'never ever huge bollocking' style and the moderate 'stop when I've had sufficient/take it or leave it' types were the ones with the 'cool' parents.

Why are girls smarter? What a crap comment

Cynic17 · 27/10/2025 22:35

"Ballistic"? It's fine for him to drink alcohol at 16, and I'd be surprised if he didn't. You may be cross that he messed with his ID, but it shows a certain amount of ingenuity. He's just being a completely normal teenager, tbh, so I'd cut him some slack.

AppropriateAdult · 27/10/2025 22:36

zipadeedodah · 27/10/2025 22:10

I dunno, better that he makes silly mistakes now rather than when he's older.

Do you let him have a glass of wine with you at dinner time? Maybe that would take the mystery out of it and make it seem less desirable.

how did you find out.

You’d think this, but the evidence doesn’t bear it out. The later you can delay that first drink, the less likely kids are to become problem drinkers.

GoodBones85 · 27/10/2025 22:37

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/10/2025 22:24

Absolutely standard behaviour - if he were a bit smarter (ie, a girl) he'd have used a shop where he is not familiar to the staff!

Shows confidence though, so thats a plus.

The rollocking he gets for attempting it is also traditional - however if you go too far you make the alcohol much MORE tempting and he will cotton on how to get better at it and not get caught, rather than stop doing it.

Of my peer group, the binge drinkers were the kids of the 'never ever huge bollocking' style and the moderate 'stop when I've had sufficient/take it or leave it' types were the ones with the 'cool' parents.

Exactly this.

i was out drinking and clubbing with most of my mates every weekend in year 12. Because we were underage we were sensible with it so as not to draw attention to ourselves and get kicked out.

the ones in my peer group who were forbidden from joining us until they turned 18 were the ones who drank themselves into oblivion the first time they were allowed out and had to be carried home……..

ClearFruit · 27/10/2025 22:39

OnePunnyKoala · 27/10/2025 22:13

He's in year 12. To be honest I don't think it's common for teens to attempt to purchase alcohol nowadays, sometimes they sneak it out of the house or get it through other methods but I don't think this is standard or normal behaviour

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It really is. Calm down.

JoWilkinsonsno1fan · 27/10/2025 23:01

OnePunnyKoala · 27/10/2025 22:13

He's in year 12. To be honest I don't think it's common for teens to attempt to purchase alcohol nowadays, sometimes they sneak it out of the house or get it through other methods but I don't think this is standard or normal behaviour

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If is very common and normal
behaviour. I have worked in shops and the amount of teenagers we turned away was frightening- both for alcohol and cigarettes.

I am not sure what you expected at 16 - but going ballistic is not the answer.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 27/10/2025 23:09

I’d left home and returned by his age, then gone again at 17. Working and learned to drive etc ,

I’m a Social Worker with Adolescents- are you really genuinely surprised he’s experimenting with alcohol?
or is it the trying to buy it , tampering part ?

isn’t there part of you pleased he’s out there a bit wanting to live a full teenage life with mates and push the boundaries a little? (As I can assure you the alternative of the social isolation some teens feel is crushing)

what does going ‘ballistic’ look like in your household?

QuickPeachPoet · 27/10/2025 23:11

Oh dear OP. You're a bit out of touch. Do you think most teenagers are sitting around sipping orange squash and playing lego?
He got sent away with a flea in his ear and looked like a prat. Enough done.

FrecklyFrog · 27/10/2025 23:14

SummerFeverVenice · 27/10/2025 22:10

Probably because it was a 16yo amateur doing the digital doctoring instead of a professional counterfeiter….

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Fair enough

8lue8ird · 27/10/2025 23:21

I wish I had a grip big enough to give you

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 27/10/2025 23:34

@SummerFeverVenicebut young people already doctor copies of their provisional driving licences and passports or buy cheap counterfeits. It was ever thus. I’m not especially arsed one way or another about digital ID but it clearly already happens and has done forever.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 27/10/2025 23:35

Give over!!
So glad I grew up in a time where challenge 25 wasn't a thing 🤣

Mumof1andacat · 27/10/2025 23:58

My dh was able to buy alcohol at 15 because he looked older. He then got an evening job at that shop when he turned 18. No id checks then. He's grown in to a responsible normal adult. Is it more the tapering with id or the alcohol buying that's upset you.

CherrieTomaties · 28/10/2025 00:29

The best part about being 16 was trying to get served in the local off licence to get some White Lightening to take onto the parks/fields and have a piss up.

YANBU to be disappointed. But YABU to have gone “ballistic”.

Dbank · 28/10/2025 01:11

I wouldn't be too concerned about the booze, but I would explain to him that while using a doctored ID may seem a bit of a laugh, technically it's "Fraud by False Representation" under Section 2 of the Fraud Act 2006 which is a criminal offence. (maximum sentence 10 years!)

It's very unlikely he would be prosecuted at 16, but at 18 it could be a very different outcome if he is found in possession of a falsified ID.

I know from personal experience how easy it is to casually ignore the law at a young age....best to get the wake up call at home, not the magistrates court.

PinkyFlamingo · 28/10/2025 01:31

OnePunnyKoala · 27/10/2025 22:13

He's in year 12. To be honest I don't think it's common for teens to attempt to purchase alcohol nowadays, sometimes they sneak it out of the house or get it through other methods but I don't think this is standard or normal behaviour

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It really is

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/10/2025 01:40

I would be upset that he was sneaky.
At 16, I had a fake ID for going out clubbing.
There is no point in going ballistic, a chat would have been better.
He's at an age where he needs to be able to experience life without you going ballistic, if he needs help from an adult then he won't be able to come to you without the worry about your reaction.

sashh · 28/10/2025 03:41

OP He is going to drink, whether he buys it himself or a friend gives it to him.

Think like a teenager, what will he do if he has too much to drink when he is out? He doesn't want you 'going ballistic' so he might decide to sleep it off on a park bench.

IMHO all teens should have one 'get out of jail free' card. What I mean by that is that if they are in trouble whether that is too much to drink or it is trying a drug and not liking it or whatever. One time, they can call you and say they are in trouble and you will get them. No arguments, no ballistic, just get them home safe.

I'm not saying that you DS will take drugs or drink to excess but it is a possibility and if he does you want him at home.

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/10/2025 04:10

Driftingawaynow · 27/10/2025 22:34

Why are girls smarter? What a crap comment

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Because at that age they tend to be better verbally, on the spot thinking and better forward planners.

Broadly speaking, across the board, there isn't a significant difference, girls perform better at some tasks, boys better at others, however we're talking about some specific skills here, not all possible areas of measurement.

In the 'being devious and sneaky' stakes and planning things, having thought of multiple angles... girls of 16 being a bit more mentally mature than boys of 16 will usually do a bit better.

Not a crap comment, I just didn't think it entirely necessary to dig deep into the developmental differences of adolescent humans.

Pricelessadvice · 28/10/2025 07:04

Thats what teenagers do. We had some older lads who hung around with us and they would get our ale for us when we were underage.
Fun times.
Surely getting drunk as a teenager is a rite of passage?

Driftingawaynow · 28/10/2025 07:06

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/10/2025 04:10

Because at that age they tend to be better verbally, on the spot thinking and better forward planners.

Broadly speaking, across the board, there isn't a significant difference, girls perform better at some tasks, boys better at others, however we're talking about some specific skills here, not all possible areas of measurement.

In the 'being devious and sneaky' stakes and planning things, having thought of multiple angles... girls of 16 being a bit more mentally mature than boys of 16 will usually do a bit better.

Not a crap comment, I just didn't think it entirely necessary to dig deep into the developmental differences of adolescent humans.

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your comment was sexist and unfair. I’m so tired of the way some people constantly belittle boys.

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 28/10/2025 07:08

OnePunnyKoala · 27/10/2025 22:13

He's in year 12. To be honest I don't think it's common for teens to attempt to purchase alcohol nowadays, sometimes they sneak it out of the house or get it through other methods but I don't think this is standard or normal behaviour

Show quote history

In the nicest possible way it is not uncommon. We had an incident with DD2 aged 15 with vodka (a friend had given her) and it actually served a good purpose and curbed it. I could have gone ballistic but didn’t we talked about it. She knew I was disappointed. I think rather than go ballistic I’d start a conversation.

snowone · 28/10/2025 07:47

I think it may be a bit harsh to go ballistic. You are lucky you have made it to Y12! Me and my friends were regularly drinking in Y11, in fact we were going out clubbing after we did our GCSEs. I realise that times are different and shops / bars are much stricter now, but I think wanting to have a few drinks with mates is quite normal at 16.