AIBU to have gone ballistic over DS buying alcohol

[OnePunnyKoala]

It's half term and DS16 met up with his friends. Today I discovered that DS16 attempted to purchase alcohol from a local corner store by using a digitally modified version of his ID. AIBU to have gone ballistic on him?

It's not just the UK, I have Danish family and alcohol consumption by teenagers is of a similar level.

It is still illegal in the UK for under 18's to purchase alcohol.It's to try to protect them from becoming alcoholic or possibly choking on their own vomit, whilst intoxicated.I know that may seem extreme to some people but it does actually happen.

Ballistic is overreaction.
I’d speak to him. What was he buying and why.
If it was a few cans of beer for a house party then tbh I’d have given him some.
At 16 he’s legal to drink at home or have a beer or glass of wine in a pub or restaurant with a meal.
Venues are usually strict with ID now, I’d point out it wasn’t going to work and could cause him hassle if shop reported him. Borrowing real ID was a thing however for younger ones in my DD’s year (find someone similar looking but 18 plus)

It’s the law not to sell alcohol to a minor. It’s not illegal to attempt to buy it.

16 year olds are allowed by law to have an alcoholic drink (beer, cider) in a pub with a meal, as long as they are accompanied by an adult, btw. Was always part of our family 16th Birthday celebrations! (Take proof of age, and not all pubs will necessarily do it, but it is legal!)

Seriously? Do you live under a rock?!!

Going ballistic won’t help. A calm sensible conversation perhaps?

My dad made me and my friends a fake ID at 16. We need to stop mollycoddling our children.

So are all the french problem drinkers?

I was the one in our friendship group who grew tall fast so I was buying us vodka at the supermarket when I was only 16- oddly they rarely questioned me 20 odd years ago.

Anyway we used to dump it into big bottles of coke we'd all share and nothing bad ever happened, besides being sick in my dads car one night when he came to pick me up. Mortifying.

I got my degree and a decent job and a mortgage and all the other things. You can be disappointed and have a talk about why but ballistic is a bit much for a normal teenage thing to do- did you and your friends not do the same?

Christ seriously? So you think actively supporting children to drink underage and break the law equates to stopping mollycoddling them?

I don’t think what the OP’s son did is awful in the scheme of things but theres a huge gulf between a knowing slap on the wrist and a quick talking to and “wahey, good on ya here’s a fake ID!”.

I’m also tired of this narrative that is so en vogue at the moment that benign neglect of children is the solution to all our problems.

No not at all but the whole “continental drinking is healthy” thing is a myth invented by the middle classes to justify their own unhealthy drinking.

The kids werent DRINKING underage though!!! They were underage to BUY alcohol but not drinking it. And its not breaking the law for them to attempt to buy alcohol, its against the law for the shopkeeper to sell it to them

Better than buying weed, coke or ketamine, which you don’t need I’d for at all. I wouldn’t go ballistic. I’d probably buy him a couple of cans for a party-I’m not a cool parent. My kids think I’m strict.

In the long run alcohol is just as detrimental to health, when it's over used ,as other drugs.Younger bodies and minds are damaged by binge drinking.The OP was probably going through this scenario in her head, because that's what a caring parent does .They don't want their childs life possiblity ruined by alcohol.Or by the fact that they may end up with a criminal record for using fake ID.

Definitely not unreasonable! Leave him in no doubt thar altering an ID for any purpose is wrong as is trying to buy alcohol. Take him to the shop to apologise for putting the shop owners license in jeopardy too.

It's the start of a slippery slope. Catch it now.

Whatever. A parent giving a kid fake ID to buy booze is shit.

Its a right of passage. If you go ballistic, he will think its something he needs to hide in future and you'll have zero oversight.

He an idiot.

I would have called him that and put consequence in place. Then privately eye rolled at his stupidity.

Iv started letting dc same age have low alcohol beer at home to try and stop this

Well it might be but that's sod all to do with your waffle about underage drinking

It's part and parcel of a culture of people tolerating and encouraging heavy drinking which is endemic in our culture and leads to massive health and social problems. People laughing along indulgently at the idea of teenagers getting pissed and creating fake ID is pathetic.

Your pedantry about who was breaking the law in this specific scenario is a complete red herring.

It’s so completely standard and normal behaviour and completely age appropriate (albeit illegal) I wouldn’t have gone ballistic but I would and have reminded my children about moderation

It was you going on ( wrongly) about law breaking

Strangely enough my 3 were allowed a glass of wine at home or a Bacardi breeze as teenagers. None of them are heavy drinkers now,

One is teetotal ( the youngest) and the other 2 drink maybe 2 or 3 times a year

I think a parent going ballistic at a child is being minimised by many but could easily be abuse.

I agree, I don't think going ballistic is ideal either. But I do think a lot of people on this thread are minimising the risks of alcohol to teens (and laughing it off indulgently).

In less than 2 years he's going to be able to buy his own alcohol whenever he wants anyway.

To me good parenting is about a controlled and steady introduction across an age limit, not a cliff edge where one day it is forbidden and the next day it is allowed.

You can also head off potential problems at the pass by providing them with something as a distraction.

For example it's unlikely someone is going to be hospitalised drinking 4 cans of Fosters. But it gives them the chance to learn about alcohol and act the grown up.

If they don't have the Fosters they might go and try to get a litre of vodka themselves and you can do yourself some damage with that if you don't respect it.