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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up a rent-free flat for a more baby-friendly home?

135 replies

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 11:23

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

OP posts:
THISbitchingwitch · 27/10/2025 11:25

Id stay where you are and save as much as possible while pregnant / child small

MidnightPatrol · 27/10/2025 11:26

IMO you’d be insane to give up your current situation before you have to.

How much would you be spending on rent otherwise - £25k a year? More? Thats a lot of money towards the house purchase…!

fishtank12345 · 27/10/2025 11:27

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 11:23

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

Could you just stay there until maternity pay is over and then move ? Money is going to be really needed with a baby. Can you use a baby carrier instead of a buggy on solo outings, to make the buggy thing not as hard for you?

FunnyOrca · 27/10/2025 11:28

Do it now. Much easier to move and house hunt without a baby!

Also if you both wfh, things are going to start feeling very tight when Mat leave ends, just as baby is roaming more.

MeganM3 · 27/10/2025 11:28

Stay as long as you can and use this fantastic opportunity to save up.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 27/10/2025 11:28

Long term obviously you need to move but I’d plan to stay where you are at least for the first year whilst you’re on mat leave and whilst baby is still not very mobile and doesn’t need own room. I would move DP to your office whilst you’re on mat leave so you can use the living room.

fishtank12345 · 27/10/2025 11:28

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 11:23

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

make the office into a nursery and get a space saving desk for your bedroom to set up a work area for you?

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 27/10/2025 11:29

Id stay where you are while your child is small. You can plan towards getting somewhere else as the years goes on

MrsShawnSpencer · 27/10/2025 11:32

Babies don't need much space. I would stay there for a few years and save what you would be spending on a mortgage in a separate bank account

DelphiniumBlue · 27/10/2025 11:33

Stay where you are, save frantically, and aim to move after you go back to work. It’s hard working from home with a baby around, might it be worth DH considering working from the office?

Hello98765 · 27/10/2025 11:33

Save ruthlessly for a year and then move.

Top tip - leave the buggy in the boot of the car.

Doseofreality · 27/10/2025 11:34

If there was even the most minimal chance that the person who owns the flat might need to sell, I would want my child to have the stability of a home I own.
Circumstances change change very quickly.

Swiftie1878 · 27/10/2025 11:35

I’d stay till you’re back to work after mat leave, then get somewhere more accommodating for life with a child/children.

Congratulations! 👶🏼

StrawBeretMoose · 27/10/2025 11:40

fishtank12345 · 27/10/2025 11:28

make the office into a nursery and get a space saving desk for your bedroom to set up a work area for you?

Show quote history

I wouldn’t bother with a nursery, the baby will be in the main bedroom.

Move DH’s office to the small bedroom while on maternity leave.

I would stay put until the baby is about 2 and save - you have the benefit of keeping an eye on the housing market and are good to go with no chain.

Morecoffeethanks · 27/10/2025 11:42

I would stay where you are, get a babyzen yo-yo or something similarly light you can carry up stairs with one hand and a nice carrier for the baby. Enjoy being able to save money and keep an eye out for the right family home.

fishtank12345 · 27/10/2025 11:47

StrawBeretMoose · 27/10/2025 11:40

I wouldn’t bother with a nursery, the baby will be in the main bedroom.

Move DH’s office to the small bedroom while on maternity leave.

I would stay put until the baby is about 2 and save - you have the benefit of keeping an eye on the housing market and are good to go with no chain.

Show quote history

Personally I would like the experience of doing the nursery up and having somewhere to store all the babies stuff.

user593 · 27/10/2025 11:49

I’d stay where you are until you’re planning DC2. I don’t think house prices are on the up and you can always keep a casual eye on the market in case something perfect comes up in the interim.

BunnyLake · 27/10/2025 11:51

If you’re buying then buy as soon as you can, if you’re renting stay put until you can buy. Don’t leave to rent a place.

Tiswa · 27/10/2025 11:52

How much savings do you have now? Presumably you have been able to save a lot.

i would see the first maternity through with the flat to continue to save and decide once you are back and you have a proper idea as to your budgets and your cashflow

because unless you are saving 2-3k a month minimum at the moment how feasible is your plan to buy in the area

shhblackbag · 27/10/2025 11:53

Stay and save, surely? You'd be mad to leave before you absolutely have to.

Maraa · 27/10/2025 11:58

With my first, I was in a similar situation to you. Honestly, baby stuff can take up as little or as large a space as you want it too. You don’t need loads of things, if it was me in your position, I would stay put and save as much as I could and revisit this situation in a year or two’s time. Babies are in with you for a first few months, some even share after a year. That gives you a year and a half at least to save! Good luck with the pregnancy x

Cheersmedears123 · 27/10/2025 11:58

I’d stay where you are as it sounds like you’re in a great position financially plus being close to work/family. We’re up a big flight of stairs and kept the pram in the boot of the car - it was no issue at all and probably made more sense anyway.

Your DH could work in the small room to free up the living area for you while you’re on maternity leave. We had a nursery ready but it became a storage room once baby was born once we realised it wasn’t needed for quite a while. I felt a bit silly really having felt it was needed from the start. In the meantime get saving and take advantage of being able to, so you’re ready to move eventually if and when you need to. Also you never know what the future holds. We wanted 3 children but stopped at 1 in the end.

Original poster
Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 12:01

Tiswa · 27/10/2025 11:52

How much savings do you have now? Presumably you have been able to save a lot.

i would see the first maternity through with the flat to continue to save and decide once you are back and you have a proper idea as to your budgets and your cashflow

because unless you are saving 2-3k a month minimum at the moment how feasible is your plan to buy in the area

We’ve been fortunate enough to save a large chunk of money while we’ve been here. But properties suitable for a family in our area are £1mil plus, so we’d still need a hefty £500k plus mortgage as it stands at the moment. With current interest rates it’d be quite a shift from our current living situation.

OP posts:
Ddakji · 27/10/2025 12:02

I’d stay and save.

Realistically (if there’s a bricks-and-mortar office to go back to) I think your DH will end up working out of the home more once the baby is born as that’s going to be quite hard for him to focus.

There are lots of space-saving office ideas out there as well.

Original poster
Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 12:03

Maraa · 27/10/2025 11:58

With my first, I was in a similar situation to you. Honestly, baby stuff can take up as little or as large a space as you want it too. You don’t need loads of things, if it was me in your position, I would stay put and save as much as I could and revisit this situation in a year or two’s time. Babies are in with you for a first few months, some even share after a year. That gives you a year and a half at least to save! Good luck with the pregnancy x

Thank you, I’ve been panicking as I’ve been of the mindset that we really need a nursery and we definitely don’t have room for one here 😅we do have a fairly spacious main bedroom so there would be room for baby to be in with us for a while.

OP posts: