To give up a rent-free flat for a more baby-friendly home?

[Scallopededges]

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

Madness to give up current situation. Stick at it as long as you possibly can. You won't get a chance like this again to save up fpr your next place.

We live in a one-bed second floor flat with our 3yo (who was born while we lived here) and now have a second on the way. Space-wise it has mainly been fine, it's just the toys and stuff that begin to take up space as the baby grows...

2nd floor wasn't 100% ideal as no chance to wheel the pram in with baby asleep, it was kept in the car so always either had to wait until she woke up or wake her up to bring her inside, but apart from that it was fine.

I'd wait until you're back at work and then look to move as maternity leave is not easy financially. This is what I plan to do now we will have two, but our little flat has served us well and you have a second room so definitely no pressure to move, especially from somewhere rent free.

Omg stay where you are! I say this as a very jealous Londoner - I would be very tempted to wait it out until you’re much closer to making a decision about schools! You have been given a gift from the gods tbh, so exploit it to top up that deposit pot. Under 3s don’t need much space and you do have a second bedroom so it’s not mad to hang on in there and make the most of the opportunity, even if you want a second with a small gap! I cannot stress how much you don’t need a nursery. Want is another thing, but need? No.

Seconding the idea to stash lightweight buggy in car boot. 👍

I would continue to save as much as you can while you are in the very envious position of not having to pay any rent or mortgage!

You don’t need a nursery for 4-6 months (or longer!) as baby will sleep in a bedside cot in your room for easy night feeds. In your position I’d plan to stay put for at least the first year of baby’s life and stash away as much as possible into savings for a deposit. Babies don’t need a lot of stuff when they’re small.

Do you plan on cutting work hours post baby? If yes, you wouldn't be able to get as big a mortgage post baby - we were also asked to show our nursery bill when getting mortgage. But hopefully that would be offset by you saving more and not needing as much mortgage anyway.

This. Babies lie on you and drink milk for around 7 months. They don't need anything more than.... well you actually.

Save up for your new home. I wouldn't want to raise kids in a flat at all. I grew up in a flat and I'm so glad I can give my children a house and garden.

As for the buggy. DC1 didn't even have one. I slinged her everywhere. Much easier. Ring sling takes all the weight off. Used it until she was 2.

You can keep a car seat in the car or easily jump public transport with a sling baby.

It depends: Will your childcare and any loss of earnings outweigh what you can spend the next 18 or so months saving (assuming you take the full year’s maternity leave)?

Babies are supposed to stay in the same room as their parents for the first year but many don’t like sleeping in their rooms and stay in with their parents for longer. Even if your child will sleep in another room, all they need is a cot. There is no need for a full nursery.

You be mad to leave your current situation. Babies don't need much space. Stay and save save save and move when you have an active toddler or child. Tbh I'd be making it work. Pushchair kept in car and sling to flat. Honestly for the money you saving it's worth it

Buy and move when you become pregnant with your second. You have a second bedroom already, even if it will also be used as your office. That’s not what people usually mean when they say “space will be tight”. They mean they’re in a one-bedroom or a studio. You have plenty of space, you’re just not using it efficiently. You can share the office in the living room, both of you can share the office and make part of the living room into a baby space, or you can turn part of the bedroom into working space. You don’t need a 3-bedroom house to have 1 baby.

You need to start living as if you had a mortgage to pay.

stay where you are until you can comfortably afford the mortgage and childcare costs. If you can’t do that already then you would be crazy to move.

you also need to think about mat leave and the unpaid section. Can you start living off one salary now and save the other salary.

Stay and save 1000%

You really don’t need a nursery. Baby will be in with you for at least the first 6 months, and can easily be longer. Their stuff really doesn’t have to take up that much space, and you can keep a buggy in the boot of the car. Baby’s tend to prefer being close to you in a carrier anyway.
Save like crazy whilst you can and put that towards your mortgage.

In your position I would definitely stay rent free for as long as possible. I would also try to future-proof myself with the housing market. Is it possible to think about buying your future family home now but renting it out until you absolutely need to live in it?

Another vote for staying where you are. We were in a similar situation (but with a mortgage!) with our first and honestly it was fine. We kept the pushchair in the boot of the car.

Can you both go into the office more? If not, I'd use a coworking space for your DH while you're on mat leave - a lot cheaper than moving and would be a sanity saver for all involved.

How often does dh wfh? Doing so with a baby in close proximity may be tricky. Agree with those saying start saving as space may be increasingly difficult once you have one toddler, let alone potentially two.

Stay and save.

During Mat Leave your view on returning to work may change so this gives you the luxury of options if that happens.

Getting a mortgage may be more challenging on Mat Leave also.

I'd be staying put with a view to save and buy somewhere in around 3 years from now, when your child is 2 and a bit. You'll manage fine until then and it's so worth it to be able to live rent/mortgage free whilst on mat leave especially.

100% stay where you are! Madness to move. What a blessing.

Thanks all for all of the great advice, lots of really good tips and suggestions! I think based on all the advice here I’m leaning towards staying and making things work at least until after my mat leave, to give us more options financially and more time to add to the house deposit pot!

No way.
Stay put and save like mad men / women....

You dont need to move until youngest is at least 18m or 2yrs and/or pregnant with no 2.
Personally I'd be aiming to buy in 2028/2029 ish....

There is loads of bulky new born baby stuff that you'll be pushed to buy.
None of it is "mandatory" and all of it is redundant by 6 or 7 months.

The (hateful and pointless) jumperoo was used for literally 6 weeks... 🙄

Anything under 1 yr can be bought 2nd hand for 70-90% off and most is in as new / excellent condition.

We are high sarner and bought almost nothing new simply as we didnt want to waste money thst cpuld be used for a. More mat leave b. Holidays!

Flats are great with babies, even second floor flats. Things that make it easier: sling, baby carrier, all weather sling cover, online shopping, supermarket deliveries, a pram that is very easy to fold and unfold and fits easily inside your car boot, not buying things you don't need, avoiding giant pointless items like jumperoos, a next to me crib, not bulk buying or buying large items like the cot in advance of when you actually want to use them, going out to baby groups rather than buying all the toys, a small designated home working space somewhere DH won't be constantly interrupted, a space somewhere outside the home where he can retreat to work when necessary. Admittedly some storage space will be an advantage if you want to store baby clothes etc for a future second child - if you have family who could store a few boxes that will help you (or a storage unit is a lot cheaper than rent).

Keep saving for another couple of years and then move. I don’t think you would be able to buy in the neighbourhood unless your financial circumstances changes significantly. But in any case, you would be able to buy a bigger, children friendly property a little outside of London.

For now, you can decorate the main bedroom in calming way so baby has a calm space, which will work for you two as well. Get a chest of drawing for baby’s stuff, you can decorate a corner in with baby friendly yet calming designs if you like.

Small bedroom can be your dh’s office room during your maternity leave. So you will have 2 rooms for you and baby during day time - main bedroom and living room.

Stay and SAVE SAVE SAVE!!! You could put yourselves in an amazing position. Do you both have LISAs? Are all savings/investments doing as much as they can be?

It’s nice to have a nursery etc but honestly it isn’t needed. For my second we had a new house and their own bedroom, but at 3 she’s in with us most nights and uses the living room as a playroom and literally uses her own room for an hour tops a day and that’s just her pretending she’s asleep 😂
you will make whatever work honestly. If you want to move before baby and it’s feasible and feels right do it, but if I was in your position knowing what I know now I would stay put! Best of luck whatever you and your family decide! Exciting times ahead x