To give up a rent-free flat for a more baby-friendly home?

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I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

I say stay and save as much as possible. You will look back and be glad you did. Even with one DC

Get a buggy that you can fit in your car boot and store it in there. You will be fine and grateful for the extra cash if you are planning on a second.

I seem to go against the grain here but if you’ve got a good deposit saved already I’d be getting on the ladder. The difference in monthly repayments between a 25 and a 30 year mortgage makes things much more affordable.
having said that there’s no way I’d be taking on a £500k mortgage under any circumstances, that’s insane. Move to a cheaper area.

I'd go for a mortgage now while you have 2 incomes. How will your mortgage affordability be impacted if you take extended leave after the baby is born, or if you have large nursery fees?

Figure out what a rough mortgage payment will cost you and then save that amount for next few years to pay off the mortgage in addition to the down payment. Leave the pram in your car and be very appreciative of whoever is giving you the free housing you could re work the space and try and find a way to stay as long as possible. IKEA do fold down desks is there a hallway inside the flat that you could utilise and small nursery furniture (also ikea),make it as functioning as you can hire storage space if you have to but stay and save hard.

I’m not going to lie to you the pram thing will be a pain in the bum but personally I’d say worth it for the money you’ll save. Keeping the pram in the car will help, also if dh is wfh maybe he can nip downstairs to give you a hand?

My neighbours have a buggy - with a flat pram - that folds up very small.

So would I unless you are able to buy a cheap place, maybe an auctioned property or something like that.

People often lived in second floor flats (and higher), with babies. You can carry a baby upstairs in a sling and fetch the buggy up separately if you can't manage both. It's doable.

He or she will presumably sleep in your room for the first year.

Save as much as you can now but keep your eye on the housing market.

Yes, my friends are still sleeping with the toddler. Obviously this stuff varies a lot by family, but a nursery isn't really needed early on. Nice to have if there's room, but not essential.

Also investigate how having a dependent will affect the amount of money you can borrow. Also are house prices rising in your area? Seems like house prices are always rising in London. Are you saving faster than house prices are rising?

Babies don't need their own room or a 'nursery' they don't need much stuff. WE just want it, WE want to decorate a nursery WE want loads of baby 'stuff'.

if you get your head around that, you'll soon see that living where you are is perfectly do able.

IMO you'd be utterly mad to move.

save hard (sounds like you have saved a lot) but start/keep being disciplined and SAVE. You gave the brilliant opportunity to set yourselves up for life. There's plenty of time for the 'family home* when the 'children' are older & really benefit from having more space.

the small inconveniences of things like having to carry the baby up to the flat are so small compared to the amount you can save.

This is what I'd do as well. You must be saving £20k a year with no rent or mortgage. Save that for a couple of years towards a decent deposit.

We lived in a large one bed flat albeit with a lift until dd1 was around 2 and a half. Lots of Europeans live in flats without lifts. It’s a pain but you find ways around most things. In your shoes I’d stay put for as long as possible and consider moving once you’re thinking of having dc2.

Baby can sleep in your bedroom for more than first year if room for a cot for them in there. If you are planning to have a second DC you could possibly stay where you are until heavily pregnant with second DC.

It depends. Would it benefit you massively to stay and have the extra cash through maternity leave? If so, I'd probably stay and save. If the extra money isn't a big thing for you then I'd move. Moving is usually pretty stressful so might not be ideal later down the line with potentially a toddler and another on the way (if you are planning on having them close together). Being able to leave a pram in the garden or easily take into the house is a huge plus, and I think the extra space would also be better as having a small baby can amplify things and you and your partner will not want to feel on top of each other at this time e.g. when you have the baby and he is working in the living room.

Stay for as long as you can and save as much as you can.

haven't read all the replies, but another one saying stay. Definitely.

We lived in a small 2-bed flat in central London when DC1 was born. It was fantastic - I could walk everywhere, get public transport anywhere (even to Paris, one time when DC was a teeny baby). We split the 2nd bedroom between a work space for me and 'nursery' for DC, but I didn't really bother doing it up or kitting it out in any way - just made sure we had what we needed (cot, chest of drawers, etc). All those nurseries you see on Insta are ineveitably impractical. Changing tables, for example, are a complete waste of space. After a few days you end up whacking down the changing mat wherever you/ the baby are and doing it there.

Anyway - we stayed there until DC1 was 2.5 and DC2 was born, at which point it became properly too small. But until then, the lack of space wasn't an issue.

Eh I never had a nursery. It’s not a must. Baby’s crib is always in my room for the first year. So I don’t get the need.
and I don’t get why you would need “minimal outgoings”. I’ve lived on the second floor with a baby. You’ll figure out what works easiest for you on how to get in and out. I used a lightweight buggy that I could carry on my shoulder or bumped up my big pram. Never remember it being a huge deal.

I’m also SW London and had a baby in both a flat and house. The flat is a weirdly easier as you don’t have to keep on top of so much stuff, and babies sort of are safest in one safe living room for the first 0-1.5 years. We barely even used the nursery before DC was one year old.

second what PP have said about a detachable bassinet, very helpful. And try to buy a small buggy that you can fold to keep in downstairs hallway (ask neighbours nicely/ buy them a gift/install a wall bike hook to get it off the floor?) If you need to keep the pram in the car boot, get a second hand one as they get stolen from car boots around here and it will hurt less.

if you think you could stay there 2-3 years then get some financial advice as to whether it’s worth getting onto the property ladder now somewhere less nice. Prob not due to stamp duty, but look into it.

I would not recommend moving somewhere less nice right now - friends and nice local area are super important when you are on mat leave and your baby is young. I think in London the nicer area matters more than having the space of an extra bedroom (and at these prices there is usually a compromise!)

When you’re nesting, it can feel like you need to make all the changes to make your set up perfect for a baby, but honestly free housing on SW London is ridiculously fortunate and gives you so much security and opportunity. Instead, invest all the money saved each month and save up to buy a house in a few years when you’re both back at work. The economy and job market is so tough right now so that kind of security is incredible

You say you’re living in an expensive area then rent for two bedroom flat would be two or £3000 a month. You need to put that away for the next two years. That’ll give you closer to 70,000 to add to your deposit.

No. Save as much as possible while you can - baby doesn’t need much space for the first few years and childcare is expensive. Just keep the buggy in the boot of the car and get one with a removable top you can swing off to bring baby inside.

Massively upping your outgoings just before mat leave and childcare is a bad decision.

Baby needs to be in with you for at east the first 6 months anyway ideally a year ! The nursery would be a wasted space and unnecessary expense just to say you have one ! I'd stay where you are and save ,moving now would be a silly thing to do and would add alot of financial pressure when you go on mat leave .
I lived in a 1st floor 1 bed flat when I had my 1st child it really wasn't a big deal I moved to a house when she was 1.5

It makes sense to stay and keep saving for now. Baby will be in with you for at least 6 months. You can store the pushchair in the car boot (assuming you can park near your flat? Obv not very practical otherwise). Get an Ergobaby or similar carrier for safely carrying baby up and down the stairs to the flat.

However, do consider mortgage affordability criteria. At the moment, you have (presumably) 2 full-time salaries and minimal outgoings. But after having a baby, even if you return to work full time, you'll have huge childcare costs. I expect it's still worth waiting as long as possible to increase your savings and deposit. But it's something to bear in mind.

Stay. We didn’t, we succumbed to pressure from family that we’d need more room… we didn’t. DS didn’t need his own room until he was nearly two, and we’d have been fine even in our small flat. And we had a one bed! We rushed buying a house instead and it’s a big regret.

You’re in an even better position because you’re not paying for your current flat! 100% stay and save up.