To give up a rent-free flat for a more baby-friendly home?

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I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

What are your childcare plans? You could end up paying over £1000 a month for nursery fees, so make sure you allow for that if you buy somewhere now.

I think it depends on the circumstances of whoever owned the flat. Are they
A) being exceptionally generous and forgoing £1000s in rent to help the two of you out, and will immediately rent it out commercially as soon as you leave. Or
B) so rich that it’ll just go empty if you move out as they cba the bother of renting it out

You absolutely don’t need a nursery - you’ll be lucky if baby sleeps in their own cot (mine didn’t and is still
in my bed!) but they have to be in your room for the first 6 months anyway. Better to have a single bed and your partner’s desk in the second room so he can work from there and you have the living room while on mat leave to come and go freely and have baby toys - plus, partner can sleep in the spare room as needed while he’s working and you’re doing night feeds!

Once you’re back at work whichever of you is more likely to need to fetch from nursery when they’re sick should work from the living room, and have a baby safe desk set up in the corner of the baby’s room - at that point you might want to move them over.

Buggy can be kept in the car - or would there be room for a bike shed out front or in the garden?

I’d save as much as possible! Babies are expensive.

In that case get a foldout sofa bed and change your living room to a living room on day, bedroom at night, turn your bedroom into an office for both you and your dh and somewhere to keep clothes etc. at the end of the day a bedroom is just somewhere to sleep 🤷‍♀️ then when baby is old enough to have their own room you have the little 2nd bedroom for them. You can stay like this for however long you need. And don’t listen to the numpties saying it’s a lot easier to house hunt or move without a baby! Honestly! You have family and I’m sure they’d love to help out and even if not babies can be picked up and moved easily! Children can walk! How do you think the rest of us manage with kids and housing! You are very lucky to be in this position. Put away the money every month you’d be spending on a mortgage for a £500+k house and in a few years you will have enough to buy outright your own house with no mortgage!

Save save save.

None if mine have had their own bedroom till they were 2. We set one up for my eldest and didn't use it. It just became the room where her clothes were kept. It was just infinitely easier having her cot in our room till she was ready for a bed. My middle two also stayed in our room till 2.5ish (can't quite remember) and our youngest is just coming up to 2 and is still happy in with us.

Think about how many years earlier you will pay off your mortgage and have money to spend on your DC/more retirement fun. In two years time you will have an 18 month old. Soooo easy and portable still - we moved when my eldest was 18 months to our "proper family home". But you'll have saved maybe 40K. That's a big deal, it'll get you much more flexibility on where you choose or a shorter mortgage term or better conditions.

You'll want a buggy thay fits in your car anyway. So you can just keep it there most of the time. Two of my four have much preferred a sling until they were old enough to sit up at 5 months, they hated the flat bassinet.

Babies really dont need much stuff. You could spend a lot of money on toys that would need storage space and they'd be much happier banging spoons on a table anyway. Toys really only become useful later on, so can wait for your forever home. It's easy to get swept up and think you need all the things that are available, but you really dont and your baby wont benefit from it.

Firstly, most of the baby clutter that is heavily marketed to you - you DO NOT NEED IT. Stick to essentials only.
When mine were small I had a secondhand pushchair/pram (it converted). However I tended to use a carrier especially when shopping/on public transport. Much easier through doors. I once took a pushchair on the train into London and instantly regretted it.

The flat was empty when we moved in. They wish for the flat to stay in the family so there’s no risk of it needing to be sold off while we’re living in it.

Too early to say at the moment, we will have some help from family but I’m sure if I return to work we will need to pay for regular help as well.

Stay where you are and save like mad.
Babies don't need as much as you think. We lived in a tiny flat much like you describe (2 bedroom, walk up, very inexpensive) no great place for a pram but we managed, and stayed as long as we could.

I’d stay and save as much as you can whilst there. Babies don’t need much room. Save and aim to buy something when baby is a bit older and needs their own space.

I’d stay and save as much as you can whilst there. Babies don’t need much room. Save and aim to buy something when baby is a bit older and needs their own space.

And is it at least 2-4k a month because that is the mortgage repayments take into account childcare and the cost of a child I think you need to add at least another 1-2k on top of that

In my opinion it would be far better to stay put whilst you’re on maternity leave and baby will be in your room for the first 6 months anyway.

2nd floor is fine, buggy can be left in cars.

Wait until DC arrives then look at moving

I would absolutely stay for the first few years until you are ready to have dc 2. Babies don’t need loads of space. They don’t need their own rooms. You can easily leave buggy in the car. You have parks and museums and play cafes you can get out to.

The only real issue I see is working space while baby is home. When you both go back to work, it’s fine; one of you in living area, one of you in a bedroom (I used to work from my youngest’s room until he was about 3 and we moved house). While you are off work, Dh probably will be happiest and most productive in the office or going to a co-working space. It’s hard to work with children on the other side of the door.

I’d prioritise financial security in the first few years particularly given anticipated childcare costs to go back to work. Unless money is no object, it be worth living in a flat to have an extra day or two off each week.

Watched this recently and though it was great seeing how cleverly they use the space.

I would stay and save. House prices aren't booming at the moment so you won't miss out.

We still have baby in with us and she’s 14 months old! She’ll be out in her own room by about 15/16 months (once her room is sorted) but it’s perfectly possible. Once she was too big for a next to me style cot we got a space saver ‘compact’ cot instead of the second hand cot bed we got. She’ll go into that once she’s got a room to put it in!

stay where you are for another year and a half, when baby’s a similar age to mine and your work situation is settled then I’d aim to buy, finances allowing.

having a room to nursery up is a lovely idea but many of us are in a similar boat at that room just isn’t there for a while. It’s ok, there’s no sense in giving a room to a baby who won’t use it at all for at least 6 months!

If you’re rent-free then I would 100% stay - I think it’s totally the best option. Not having financial stresses in those first couple of years is SO worth it.

As and when you might have more children, then you can think about moving then - and you will have had time to save for a larger deposit, and possibly know more clearly what you’re looking for in terms of area/community/schools.

Housing wise I was in your position with my first child - no pram space in the communal hall (actually loads, but officious neighbours 🙄), and a second floor flat. One of the really annoying things was getting my baby out of the pram/putting pram in car/ and then getting upstairs all whilst trying to keep him asleep! However a game changer would have been a Najell (or similar) baby nest carrier that you just take out and walk up with, so I’d definitely research those. Or I think Babyzen buggies possibly have lift out bassinets…

Your baby will be your bedroom for the first 6 months anyway, not taking up masses of room. There’s also lots of ways you can create nifty storage/working solutions to make the best of smaller spaces too - instagram could give you lots of ideas! A small box room is perfect for 6months+ , with your husband having a desk in bedroom/sitting room?

Other pros: Cleaning a 2 bedroom flat is also a lot easier than a e.g 4 bed town house when you have limited time (!!)
It’s also a great advantage to be only on the one floor level - no stairs to worry about when they start crawling.

We moved to a large family house (and it’s a bit of a project/reno situation) when my youngest was 18 months. I do love having more space/ a garden - but I look back so fondly to those days in our cosy flat…..Life was easier 😂.
If I were you, I’d just stay put for the moment and enjoy! Xx

Stay and save! You have at least 6 months before baby should have their own room anyway (according to guidance) and even longer is more than possible. DH can work from the 2nd bedroom while you’re on MAT (or get a space like a gym membership with office facilities). No need to bring a pram up if you have a car outside as it will live in the boot!

We lived in a similar flat until DS was 3.5 and we only moved because we were having DD, and did finally need a bit more space. Don’t underestimate how much stress the additional financial pressures can bring, especially when having a baby can be stressful anyway. You’d be mad to move before you have to.

Wait til number 1 is about to go to school or number 2 arrives

When my DS was a baby we lived in a small flat with no lift. I used to leave the buggy in the car boot. It was a bit of a faff but not too bad.

In the end, we only moved to live closer to DH's family when DS was 10 months old.

I agree with others who say you would be mad to leave this situation until you absolutely have to. Even just for the first few years when expenses are so high.

If you are rent free right now you could save so much money towards your own place so I wouldnt move yet but plan to do so when baby is around one to two.

It’s MUCH better being in a flat with a baby than a house, I’ve done both and flat is much better.
buggy - leave base in the car and carry carry cot upstairs.
Baby will be in your room for first 6m at the very least - your husband can have your office to work and keep the living room clear. Once baby is bigger and sleeping in own room, he can work in your bedroom (not ideal but needs must) or rent a coworking space - much cheaper than a mortgage.
if you wait a couple more years to buy stamp duty may also be abolished!
id wait to buy until you’re ready to be looking at schools etc eg start looking when baby is 2.5/3 years.

I would stay and keep saving. You really don’t need much for one baby.

we were in the middle of selling our home when dd was born so we did not set up a nursery at all. We had a small travel cot on each floor of the house where we could set her down safely and that was basically it. When we did sell we spent 6 months in a tiny rental while we waited for our current home to be ready. We just kept things minimalist and it was fine. Things like using a chair that straps to a chair instead of a full high chair.

You would be mad to move.

I know someone who has had free accommodation for 9 years and has saved 250,000.