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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give up a rent-free flat for a more baby-friendly home?

135 replies

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 11:23

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

OP posts:
CausalInference · 27/10/2025 14:02

I'd stay as long as you can, possibly until baby 2 comes along, your first baby could easily stay in with you up to 18months or beyond, I'd stay put and try to save as much as possible, plan to move when you actually run out of space. Your baby doesn't need a nursery and babies don't have to come with so much stuff.

thestudio · 27/10/2025 14:05

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 12:01

We’ve been fortunate enough to save a large chunk of money while we’ve been here. But properties suitable for a family in our area are £1mil plus, so we’d still need a hefty £500k plus mortgage as it stands at the moment. With current interest rates it’d be quite a shift from our current living situation.

Just as you don't need much space with a baby or toddler, so you don't need that much for small children.

You don't have to move from the 1 bed straight to a 3 bed house with room to extend - you could have a half-way house of a 2.5 room flat for eg.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/10/2025 14:06

Absolutely stay put. Baby can stay in your room with you well into toddlerhood, if necessary. I'd only move once you're about ready for a second child.

Save like crazy so you have a sizeable deposit for a house.

We were living in a one-bed apartment when we had our first, it was totally fine, and our bedroom was small! I kept the pram in the boot of my car outside and used a sling a lot because I love them anyway. Honestly, it's fine.

hellohelloitsme · 27/10/2025 14:07

Surely you've saved a large amount of money so buy

Droplet789 · 27/10/2025 14:09

First time mum living in a two bedroom flat on a second floor without a lift 😊 I was incredibly anxious before giving birth but it’s really manageable especially if it’s rent free. I’d move when you absolutely have to but a newborn is fine for a flat and having less stress would be invaluable.

DiscoBeat · 27/10/2025 14:10

Get a really lightweight compact buggy that you can carry in one hand. It would be insanity to give up that saving potential while you have a really portable small baby!

Stuckandsad1 · 27/10/2025 14:13

Staying put for a year or so is fine. You need the extra space as they get older - bikes, garden to play in, etc.

Start looking, it is a real luxury to have time,

hellohelloitsme · 27/10/2025 14:13

Don't forgot that if you not buying now prices are still going up.

If you can afford, buy ASAP

Xmasbaby11 · 27/10/2025 14:15

Definitely stay, save and aim to move before the dc2. You can manage for now, although it does depend a bit how the baby is. The flat will feel very small if you have a baby that cries a lot etc and you will need to go out a lot.

My biggest concern would be DH wfh in the living room once the baby is here. That could be really hard for both of you - but he can always find a workspace elsewhere.

CrispySquid · 27/10/2025 14:16

You’d be insane to give up your living situation. Not paying any rent is an obscene life advantage. You don’t need anywhere bigger for maternity and the baby will be in your room for a little while anyway and then it will be small and doesn’t need their own space or much room for a while. I’d stay put for the next three years and put a good chunk of money away. For the small hassle of leaving the buggy in the car and being under each others feet for a little bit, you’re essentially gaining £20,000ish a year. That amount is worth the tiny hassles. It’s a no-brainer!

diddl · 27/10/2025 14:26

How often do you both wfh?

I wouldn't necessarily stay in an expensive area to be close to family.

lanthanum · 27/10/2025 14:29

Working from home in a small flat with a newborn is not a very good idea. You might be lucky and get a nice laid-back baby who doesn't cry much, but if they're a colicky baby it will be exhausting to be working with that in the background, on top of sleepless nights. I know multiple people who stopped working from home when the baby arrived.
If he is able to work flexibly, working from home has the benefit that he might be able to give you a break occasionally, but balancing that with getting the hours in has its own tensions - in some ways it's easier if he has set hours.
(We had the best of both worlds - DH's commute was 2 minutes, so he could come home early to cook dinner and give me a break at the low point of my day, then head back to work to finish off.)

80smonster · 27/10/2025 14:33

Stay and get saving - pray for a property crash or interest rates to substantially drop. Leave that buggy in the car, no one wants to drag one up flights of stairs each day, particularly after the birth. Maternity is generally quite expensive, as is daycare for little ones, so I wouldn’t rush into anything until you have a better idea of monthly costs for a small family. Daycare was £1,600 a month last time I paid it.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 27/10/2025 14:33

MolkosTeenageAngst · 27/10/2025 11:28

Long term obviously you need to move but I’d plan to stay where you are at least for the first year whilst you’re on mat leave and whilst baby is still not very mobile and doesn’t need own room. I would move DP to your office whilst you’re on mat leave so you can use the living room.

Edited

Exactly what I would do

anyolddinosaur · 27/10/2025 14:42

Stay as long as you can possibly manage it, even if you rent a tiny office space elsewhere to work from it would likely be less than a flat for 3. At worst you want to still be there in a year and you could make it 2 without too many problems.

Once you are ready to move on it does not have to be a house, you could rent or buy a bigger flat. However since moving is a pain, and costs quite a bit in fees, you may want to save madly and wait for the house.

LillianGish · 27/10/2025 14:44

Stay! There's nothing to stop you doing some house hunting, but certainly don't feel you have to live in a house when you are living rent free in a place you love. We lived in a 2-bed third floor walk up when I had DD and we were still there two years later when DS was born. We had a babyseat that clipped onto pram wheels - perfect for carrying up/downstairs when baby was asleep (or not). I actually think living all on one level in a flat is ultimately easier than a house when children are small - no need for baby monitors or stairgates - you can keep an eye on them and they can hear you wherever you are. You actually don't need loads of stuff when they are tiny and not having loads of space is a great disincentive to acquiring loads of unnecessary tat. We had an old fashioned playpen in the corner of the living room where we could put DD/DS to play safely if we were busying around the flat. In the evening we'd pile any toys in there for an instant clear up. The baby will be in your room to start with anyway and then just needs a bed which could go in the corner of your office. They don't really play in their rooms until they are quite a bit older. We invested in a sofa bed for the living room to maximise all options. I have such great memories of living in that flat (central Paris) - friends who visited from the UK actually commented on how labour intensive living in a house was by comparison. Best of all in your case it will enable you to save, save, save. It really is a no-brainer.

JoemarIerseyes · 27/10/2025 14:44

Stay put!!! See if you can save (In premium bonds preferably) £2100 a month from now till next year. Don't touch it and see if you can survive on what you have left. Money is a huge source of friction in a relationship, and especially with the addition of children. Good luck!

RedToothBrush · 27/10/2025 14:45

Small ones are fine in small spaces. Aim to move in 2 or 3 years time if you want a couple or when they are 4 or 5 if you decide to stick with one.

You can manage for a couple of years - been there and done that.

Scottsy200 · 27/10/2025 14:45

With the cost of living and things as uncertain as they are I wouldn’t even think about leaving there until the 2nd baby was in existence, make the most of your situation and comfortably enjoy your first baby

HoppingPavlova · 27/10/2025 14:56

I wouldn’t move. The baby can room in with you for the first few years, they don’t need their own room. Also, go light on baby stuff in general, they don’t need much.

This will allow you to save for a few years and then use that to buy when planning/pregnant with the second as at that point the first will need to move to their own room.

Earlybirdcatchesworms · 27/10/2025 15:01

THISbitchingwitch · 27/10/2025 11:25

Id stay where you are and save as much as possible while pregnant / child small

This. It will be a pain..I did the same and dealt with baby years in not overly suitable accommodation. It was worth it as we then moved once back at work, career picked up and had more options.

Rosiedayss · 27/10/2025 15:03

Save like mad, clear the flat of all unnecessary furniture.
Borrowing baby bits is great if you can or buy in charity shops so they can be moved on quickly. Go for the lightest buggy you can that can be used from newborn. Forget the awkward heavy ones and keep in the car boot.
It can be done.
You have time to do a real clear out.

AliceandOscar · 27/10/2025 15:05

Many economists are predicting a market crash in 2027, don’t buy unless you have to as the markets at the moment are just too unpredictable. Suggest keeping an eye on houses as there is data to show the housing market is slowing down particularly for £1M plus houses.

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 27/10/2025 15:07

Stay for now and save every penny you can towards a larger property in the future. You won’t get this chance again. Really think about what you need for the baby - have a pram in the car so you don’t have to carry that up and down. Don’t get carried away but g baby stuff as half of it never gets used.

booksunderthebed · 27/10/2025 15:12

Your husband (or you) can work in a coworking place/cafe rather than at home.

Baby in your room until 6 months or a year, at that stage one of you finds another place to work.

I think better to stay in slightly cramped circumstances for the next 2-3 years and than have a lot more money to buy something lovely.