Page 12 | Cleaner invited friends over AIBU

Nestingbirds · 2025-10-27T06:43:59+00:00

We have an arrangement with our cleaner that she takes care of our animals when we are away for a few days. She usually stays in the annexe but this time stayed in our house due to refurbishment. We had an agreement when this started that we would prefer she didn’t have visitors apart from her long term boyfriend. He is away atm. She was totally on board, and said she would feel the same if it was her house. We pay her really really well, and leave her lots of treats including fresh flowers. She told me she likes the time she has to herself, and all is well. Only our neighbour texted me to say there are people coming and going from our house and sent me her ring doorbell footage. Not only is she having friends over, she isn’t actually spending time with the animals or cleaning (we pay her separately for both) as the rest of the time she has been out. We never leave our dog all day. Whilst we obviously don’t mind her going out, and want her to be happy, I just feel taken for a ride as she is clearly not there doing either. I have messaged her to see how she is, hoping she would be honest about her friend coming over and staying for hours in our house, but she has continued to lie to me. I feel like I can’t trust her now. Wwyd?

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 17:23

PrettyDamnCosmic · 27/10/2025 15:51

and tell your neighbour her camera is illegal as it's collecting data beyond her own front door.

If you think that is correct then she had better tell her neighbour that her dashcam is illegal too as it's collecting data beyond her own front door.

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This is not about a dashcam. They are different.

CCTV cameras should not cover public footpaths or other people's property. If they do you have to have a CCTV sign on the wall as well as give people the right to see and remove their data.

WhoaaaBodyform · 27/10/2025 17:28

I'm a bit confused by this - I agree that if she's having people over against your wishes, and she's going out for hours and hours and not doing the job that you've paid her to do then it's absolutely out of line.

BUT:

What actual proof do you have that this has been happening? Aside from the curtain-twitcher next door showing you a few things, which don't, on their own, tell the full story?

You haven't got any evidence that the dog has been left alone/not walked (which if this is the case is obviously unacceptable), you've just made an assumption that the dog has been crying?

I'm also interested that you think she's been claiming to be you - I might have missed something as it's quite a long thread and there's a lot of waffle in it from various people, but how has she actually been doing that? She has your house in her Whatsapp photo? That doesn't sound right?!

5678XXX · 27/10/2025 17:32

keepincool · 27/10/2025 14:54

If you think the post is fake just report it Sherlock.

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Thanks HeadMaster

Julen7 · 27/10/2025 17:58

Waiting (im)patiently to hear the outcome. Must be a long trip back.

user1471538283 · 27/10/2025 18:08

I would be really upset as well. Your poor dog.

Get the keys back and sack her.

I used to babysit when I was at school and I knew that I wasn't to have friends over. I was paid to sit in their home just in case their little one needed something. So a grown woman would know

I'm sure there are other house sitters happy to do her job!

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 27/10/2025 18:15

Sorry to read this OP. I’d be fuming and I think you should tell her why she’s being fired.

re the camera - I was unaware that it couldn’t point to a path. We have a privacy block on ours so that it doesn’t film other properties but I’m pretty sure most Ring doorbells (and other makes) will capture anything in front of the house and that would include paths, cars, road and any properties opposite??

HonoraBridge · 27/10/2025 18:16

You are correct - you cannot trust her. Unfortunately, you need a new cleaner.

Catandmousemam · 27/10/2025 18:27

Get rid of her for lying & going against you. It's your home!

redjeans28 · 27/10/2025 18:30

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 17:21

It's not about what you are happy with. it's collecting images and data of anyone coming to your house. It's not just about you. Those people are having their data stored and have a right to a) complain b) have it deleted.

Edited

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Stop talking nonsense will you? You're wrong, accept it.

Citrusbergamia · 27/10/2025 18:32

if only for your poor dog, I would definitely ask her some searching questions about why your dog had been heard howling and the nieghbours camera indicated that you were out for long periods of the day and no evidence that the dog had been walked...listen to her excuses and then ask for the keys back...oh, once she's cleared up the dog poo from the garden.

Clutchball · 27/10/2025 18:33

Weekendwatch · 27/10/2025 07:30

So you need to find a house sitter OP who can care for dogs

It is that simple

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That’s what she’s trying to do.

outofofficeagain · 27/10/2025 18:34

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 27/10/2025 18:15

Sorry to read this OP. I’d be fuming and I think you should tell her why she’s being fired.

re the camera - I was unaware that it couldn’t point to a path. We have a privacy block on ours so that it doesn’t film other properties but I’m pretty sure most Ring doorbells (and other makes) will capture anything in front of the house and that would include paths, cars, road and any properties opposite??

Legally people have the right to request footage and ask for it to be deleted.

Seagoats · 27/10/2025 18:37

You trust your neighbours more than her?

Ask them to pet sit then

Is there any possibility they may not be ( or inadvertently) telling the truth. They really watched a whole days footage of your property ?

Could it be they saw her go in the morning and come back late.... and just.assumed

Could they be jealous and shitstirring?

Fresh flowers, unless theyre for her to take to her home aren't really a treat btw.

She doesn't have kids. Her partner does

Trishyb10 · 27/10/2025 18:37

Get rid, she overstepped the mark,has become blase and is taking advantage, this is your precious home and pets … no more x

Original poster

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 18:38

Well it was extremely awkward.

I thought I would give her one more chance to come clean, so I asked her how she had spent the weekend, and she still didn’t say a word. I could actually feel a lump in my throat as I looked at her, because we have been so unbelievably kind to her and I feel like I don’t even know her anymore.

I saw all of her shopping bags by the door, so she has been busy spending our money, and she had left my dog alone for so long whilst she went out shopping.

I took the dog out immediately just to get away from her; and she had gone by the time we arrived back. The house looks perfectly fine, but I am really upset this evening and feel betrayed. So disappointed in her.

OP posts:

Bluecrystal2 · 27/10/2025 18:40

Get rid of her. Sometimes the nicer you are to people the worse they treat you. The poor dog being left alone would upset me the most.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 27/10/2025 18:47

Good that you've found out, it could have gone on indefinitely

I dont know where you live but you pay sounds generous to me, she was foolish to take advantage of you

GAJLY · 27/10/2025 18:52

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 18:38

Well it was extremely awkward.

I thought I would give her one more chance to come clean, so I asked her how she had spent the weekend, and she still didn’t say a word. I could actually feel a lump in my throat as I looked at her, because we have been so unbelievably kind to her and I feel like I don’t even know her anymore.

I saw all of her shopping bags by the door, so she has been busy spending our money, and she had left my dog alone for so long whilst she went out shopping.

I took the dog out immediately just to get away from her; and she had gone by the time we arrived back. The house looks perfectly fine, but I am really upset this evening and feel betrayed. So disappointed in her.

Edited

That's disappointing that she didn't come clean. Did you get your key back?

KWaldron · 27/10/2025 18:53

At least you have a good, thoughtful neighbour. I've had cleaners who've betrayed my trust in the past, so now I occasionally use a cleaning company fot a big clean, and I stay there while they're working. I'll never again hire a cleaner I can't supervise. My trust is gone.

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Myfamilyisquirky · 27/10/2025 18:56

BackToLurk · 27/10/2025 13:09

How do you know? Does the neighbour’s surveillance cover the annex? Maybe she’s been doing this for ages. Maybe she’s actually already assumed your identity and is just getting ready to bump you off and move in. What with their ‘cultural differences’ and everything, the possibilities are endless.

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😂

outofofficeagain · 27/10/2025 19:01

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 18:38

Well it was extremely awkward.

I thought I would give her one more chance to come clean, so I asked her how she had spent the weekend, and she still didn’t say a word. I could actually feel a lump in my throat as I looked at her, because we have been so unbelievably kind to her and I feel like I don’t even know her anymore.

I saw all of her shopping bags by the door, so she has been busy spending our money, and she had left my dog alone for so long whilst she went out shopping.

I took the dog out immediately just to get away from her; and she had gone by the time we arrived back. The house looks perfectly fine, but I am really upset this evening and feel betrayed. So disappointed in her.

Edited

But did you tell her what the neighbours said? Give her any right to reply?

if you’re not going to mention it and quietly fire her, then this whole thread is just a tutting “can’t the staff be a nightmare” exercise

BackToLurk · 27/10/2025 19:01

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 18:38

Well it was extremely awkward.

I thought I would give her one more chance to come clean, so I asked her how she had spent the weekend, and she still didn’t say a word. I could actually feel a lump in my throat as I looked at her, because we have been so unbelievably kind to her and I feel like I don’t even know her anymore.

I saw all of her shopping bags by the door, so she has been busy spending our money, and she had left my dog alone for so long whilst she went out shopping.

I took the dog out immediately just to get away from her; and she had gone by the time we arrived back. The house looks perfectly fine, but I am really upset this evening and feel betrayed. So disappointed in her.

Edited

So you didn’t actually ask why she left your dog alone for so long? Or say “Mrs Miggins from across the road said she heard the dog howling”? Or indeed really address it at all. You just went out and left her in your home. This cunning master criminal with her bags of shopping that she didn’t even had the sense to hide.

I await with anticipation the “AIBU to wonder why the woman I clean and pet sit for has just let me go without really telling me why” thread

Is the garden full of poop btw?

Bathingforest · 27/10/2025 19:02

Ok, what kind of end is that.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 27/10/2025 19:03

Bathingforest · 27/10/2025 19:02

Ok, what kind of end is that.

An actual real-life one?

Original poster

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 19:08

BackToLurk · 27/10/2025 19:01

So you didn’t actually ask why she left your dog alone for so long? Or say “Mrs Miggins from across the road said she heard the dog howling”? Or indeed really address it at all. You just went out and left her in your home. This cunning master criminal with her bags of shopping that she didn’t even had the sense to hide.

I await with anticipation the “AIBU to wonder why the woman I clean and pet sit for has just let me go without really telling me why” thread

Is the garden full of poop btw?

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I didn’t leave her in my house alone, my dh stayed. I took the dog out. I have the keys safely back.

Dh and I are going to talk through what to do next. It’s pitch black I am not going outside looking for poop?! 😂 Just why is that interesting?

The shopping bags are fine, she hasn’t been confined to the house!!! She doesn’t need to hide them. It was more the extra money she had to pay for it all was from us. It pissed me off.

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