Should I just try to escape? Visiting friend abroad.

[Fiflaboeuf]

I am currently on a long weekend to visit an old friend I haven’t seen in 13 years. It’s a Scandinavian country, far away from towns and I am from / living in UK. Things were going well - her partner is a bit of a monologuer but we had a fun time yesterday in the daytime. For context this is a friend I had in our 20s - she was in a straight relationship back in the day (we had a friendship group and they were the couple ‘hub’ iyswim) but is now married to a woman.
In the evening the schnapps was flowing and they got really drunk. Talking about gender (never easy!) her partner snaps and says ‘a couple of straight women talking about gender issues!’ In a sort of dismissive way - my friend got really upset about this.
But then her partner snaps back about an affair my friend had with a man while said partner was in hospital for months on end. My friend is like ‘don’t spoil it please!’ I am just trying to keep the peace - and failing - and suggesting we go to bed. Queue hours of arguments and shouting and crying. All to the backdrop of breaking down about world events (friends partner is obsessed).
Somehow everything is suddenly fine and we all hug and go to bed.
Friend’s partner then shows up next to my bed and starts singing a really long spontaneously created song… like on my face and at me, and about me.
I feel like they have lost the plot here in the middle of nowhere - it’s all rather ‘who’s afraid of Virginia wolf’. Almost funny but wtf.
I am seriously tempted to just get a hotel room at the airport - but they are so remote I would have to ask my friend to drive me to the nearest station…
I have had like 4 hrs sleep - the house stinks of cigarettes as they have been chain smoking. I just miss my family.
An I being dramatic? Will I make everything worse again?
We are meant to all be working on a creative thing today and I just can’t imagine it going well.

I think I'd have still left after that chat. They've behaved appallingly and who cares if they're upset? I'd be on pins waiting for another meltdown.

Glad you are ok and have had a chance to chat with your friend. Good to hear you know how you are leaving and also have a back up plan for an earlier departure if necessary

A few things come to mind

firstly and most importantly can you ask to hear the song again

secondly what is the creative thing today. If pottery or candle making id stick around

thirdly if you’d prefer to leave id get some good music on the AirPods and walk the 7 miles. That’s not a very terrible walk at all. And I’d enjoy it with loud music

No, like in a video game where a random character suddenly appears (spawns), usually from nowhere.

You could watch something by Julia Davis, it might feel comfortingly familiar 😂

Guessing more like a character 'spawning' in a computer game, ie just appearing out of nowhere in a new location. Would be startling.

Pets ? There are pets there too? I want to know which ones? Reindeer? Wolves?
And a guitar ! That really cracked me up !
I am currently reading a scandi noir thriller, so this situation has me really engaged. Do let us know how things turn out. Mind you, if we don't hear any more from you, we might just expect the worst...

I was going to suggest getting a hotel and seeing friend that way but actually they both seem really embarrassed and it was drunk that caused it.

Id give it another couple of days and avoid alcohol.

They obviously have a lot of issues and it’s unfair that they argued in front of you but they will be much more mortified than you.

Long weekend, so are you leaving tomorrow (Monday)? I’d just wait it out

And maybe no more snaps!

No, spawning in as in “appearing suddenly.” Coined from video games because the place where characters are programmed to appear is called a spawn point.

OP, I know you said you’re not scared anymore but I wouldn’t spend another night there unless the bedroom door had a lock. 😬

Gosh OP it sounds like the basis of a plot for an Ari Aster movie!😨

I don't think I'd be comfortable staying at all, they obviously have untackled issues and the alcohol won't be helping that much. It certainly won't help in the morning when the post drinking depression sets in. Get yourself a flight home.

I'd be checking in on her during the journey to the airport, to see if this lifestyle of isolation isn't going to lead to some kind of "folie à deux" situation.

Haha. This made me laugh. I know the OP said she is somewhere rural, but if it's only 7 miles to civilisation, then she is hardly in the arctic tundra !

I was completely team “get out of there asap” until I read the lyrics. That song won me over. Do they want another British girl friend?

"There was a guitar involved too." I'm sorry OP but I laughed out loud at this! Do you know what key she was in?! 🎸 Seriously though, at the first hint of your gut telling you to go, GO.

So the 'red flags' for me here are: a (presumably?) lesbian woman referring to her (presumably?) bisexual girlfriend as a 'straight' woman is a really nasty slur. Lesbian women can be quite open about the fact they hate bisexual women, but you do expect the lesbian partner of a bisexual woman to take her foot off the pedal.

The attempting to shame her partner publically about an affair, completely unprompted is also very off. Almost like she is trying to divide and conquer you?

Keeping you up and waking you up so that the amount of sleep you have had is limited, is quite a common trait in abusive relationships. What is really unnerving is you aren't in a relationship with her, you are a guest.

I have known some very 'difficult' people (if I am being polite) have a very firm grip on the travel opportunities of people they are either on holiday with or have coming to stay with them (MN is a treasure trove of holiday ishooos where this has been the case). This includes having a tendency to be people who live quite rurally, for no particuarly good reason (not farmers or locals). They certainly didn't encourage you to bring your own car, did they OP? These things often look generous on the surface, but when a situation like this arises it can feel quite unsettling.

In a very rural location, I suspect the only taxi would be someone who lives in the next village and doesn't work Sundays. It's pretty likely there are no Sunday trains either - OP needs to check before setting off!

She sounds deranged!

That was my first thought too - oh lord, not a guitar as well

RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The song is making me laugh a bit now in retrospect. I was firmly wrapped in blankets, eyes closed and she did indeed ‘spawn’ as a poster suggested with guitar in hand. At first I was polite and like ‘aww thanks’ and then I shut my eyes feigning sleep - every time I thought she was done, a new refrain! Friend eventually shooed her away and they argued again ‘I am singing to Fiflaboeuf!!’ Etc until the arguing just went upstairs…

Sorry, but … 🤣🤣🤣

That is hilarious - being shooed away and saying "I'm singing to Fiflaboeuf" 😂

I'm glad you're OK @Fiflaboeuf and that you and your friend had some alone time to chat... but this story is hilarious!!! (in retrospect).

WoW. Time to leave them to it. Just pretend you've had a phone call, or better yet, get someone to call you and you need to leave ?

OMG I thought exactly the same thing reading the OP. Utterly chilling film.

I would be feeling deeply uncomfortable after the singing, and beel looking to leave.