Should I just try to escape? Visiting friend abroad.

[Fiflaboeuf]

I am currently on a long weekend to visit an old friend I haven’t seen in 13 years. It’s a Scandinavian country, far away from towns and I am from / living in UK. Things were going well - her partner is a bit of a monologuer but we had a fun time yesterday in the daytime. For context this is a friend I had in our 20s - she was in a straight relationship back in the day (we had a friendship group and they were the couple ‘hub’ iyswim) but is now married to a woman.
In the evening the schnapps was flowing and they got really drunk. Talking about gender (never easy!) her partner snaps and says ‘a couple of straight women talking about gender issues!’ In a sort of dismissive way - my friend got really upset about this.
But then her partner snaps back about an affair my friend had with a man while said partner was in hospital for months on end. My friend is like ‘don’t spoil it please!’ I am just trying to keep the peace - and failing - and suggesting we go to bed. Queue hours of arguments and shouting and crying. All to the backdrop of breaking down about world events (friends partner is obsessed).
Somehow everything is suddenly fine and we all hug and go to bed.
Friend’s partner then shows up next to my bed and starts singing a really long spontaneously created song… like on my face and at me, and about me.
I feel like they have lost the plot here in the middle of nowhere - it’s all rather ‘who’s afraid of Virginia wolf’. Almost funny but wtf.
I am seriously tempted to just get a hotel room at the airport - but they are so remote I would have to ask my friend to drive me to the nearest station…
I have had like 4 hrs sleep - the house stinks of cigarettes as they have been chain smoking. I just miss my family.
An I being dramatic? Will I make everything worse again?
We are meant to all be working on a creative thing today and I just can’t imagine it going well.

Get a family member to text you with a fictional crisis so you can get the hell out.

Sorry, this answer really made me laugh! I was intrigued too....

Sorry tho OP, does sound awkward. Tho I doubt they will harm you. Just embarrassing really I guess.

The mad partner took drugs and mixed it with fiery alcohol. Your friend has seen this before.

I'm puzzled, did you see either of them this morning yet?

I'm the type who would sit it out and hope for the best. Find the number of the police and have it ready on speed dial with the exact address. Not joking, that's easier than hiking 7 miles in freezing weather if there's no PT/taxi available. The police would give you a lift to the nearest train/bus. That would be my strategy, plus staying well out of their way and having an early night with something wedged under my bedroom door. Mind you I'd probably sleep with one eye open!

Hold on best you can until tomorrow, then leg it. But I'd say they will have forgotten about it, or don't think it's unusual behaviour - for them!

I’d walk and hitch a lift. If no lift comes along, then 2 hours is very doable.
This sounds like an abusive relationship, not only to each other but also towards you. You are not safe there. This is not a friendship, that clearly died 13 years ago.

The thing is though, which I see may be hard to understand for posters who live in places with more regular public transport, that in rural Scandinavia, even if she does walk 7 miles to the local station, there is likely to be 1-2 trains a day stopping at most, and there is no guarantee that they won't have already gone through. That is assuming there even is a Sundays service, which cannot be taken as given.

I hope you got out of this situation. I wouldn’t have wanted to stay. Please do update us!

Where in denmark are you? Maby i Can guide you..

Where did the OP mention Denmark?

Hope you got out of there OP.

Monday might be too late. They have already summoned the trolls through the singing.
Personally, I would steal a skidoo.

Dog-team through the forest. That'd be the best way to do it.

People that monologue tend to be autistic. Autism plus alcohol could possibly equal weird singing in your face and that “uncanny valley” feeling because they’re not following the social rules. I’m autistic myself but this would be too much wacky for me. All the arguing would feel like being a child again. I’d tell my friend I was uncomfortable and ask her for a lift.

I'm sorry but I laughed at the bedside singing 🤦.

Seriously, get the fuck out. Sod putting up with that shit.

I was thinking, "suck it up, it won't be for much longer", until I read the bit about the partner coming to sing a made-up song at your bedside!! That's utterly batshit. What did you say/do in response??

I think I'd still probably just try and grin and bear it for the sake of harmony, but I'd be mentally telling myself, "Yeah... I think this friendship is done." After all, if this is the first face-to-face in 13 years, you're hardly close friends anyway.
And before anyone comes at me all "I haven't seen my bestie in 25 years and we're super close!" I'd remind everyone this is a Scandinavian country, at worst 3 hours flight from London, and not Australia. If they'd wanted a f2f in the past 13 years, it's easy to do.

As you are there for a long weekend, I'm assuming you don't have much luggage? I would walk, then call a taxi when you reach civilisation. Possibly the alcohol triggered this weird behaviour. Either way, I wouldn't be staying another night. I've read too much Scandi Noir horror to be comfortable spending any longer under their roof. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Thanks for all the replies - still here. My friend emerged and we had a chat and she did apologise a lot - talked about the affair and didn’t just call her partner a psycho like last night. I said I had a plan to leave if she could drive me to the station but she got quite upset. I was a wimp and framed this as better for their sake and so I could sleep, rather than admitting I was a bit freaked out. So we went for a walk and had a proper chat the two of us (which is exactly what I wanted to get out of the weekend). I said I would stay for a bit and my last chance to go would be around 5pm - creative stuff out of the window, but we did hatch a plan to do that just the two of us remotely.

Partner has been hiding in their room all day, which has been nice actually. She sent an apology by text via friend. Still a little dramatic as ‘sorry I ruined everything’ etc

It has been hard to keep up with the responses but I have a few updates:

there is definitely no bus for this bit but there are other good rural services nearby. I do have the transport website tab open and my next possible train if things get bad again.

I probably could have and should have walked actually - the weather has been nice and I wish I did that this morning tbh.

lyrics: something like ‘British girl so nice to have you here / I feel so close to you / the pets are into you / that’s a good sign do dee do’ and stuff like that - and some stuff in their language so fuck knows! There was a guitar involved too.

I need to leave to catch the train in the morning so as they get up late I hope that is minimal time.

I don’t feel scared now but am keeping my transport and hotel tabs open. I did get a quote for an uber. So maybe that is more possible than I think… man just exhausted.

Honestly; if there is a way to walk which is safe, there is a train you will make and you will get a hotel, I would walk the seven miles to the station. Your friend will be driving over the limit and/or on not more sleep than you. Although I realise this is now four hours after the OP first post, so whatever decision it was is now made.

cross post, sorry!

Sounds like something that would happen to Mark in ‘Peep Show’

I’d feel too uncomfortable and leave

I also suggested some things to watch so it’s not videos about war and atrocities…

Crikey. A couple having a drunken argument and making everyone else feel uncomfortable is bad enough but not totally unheard of however the prolonged arguing, dramatic exposure of affairs and partner spawning next to the bed and singing a song would’ve had me running for the hills lol YANBU

"lyrics: something like ‘British girl so nice to have you here / I feel so close to you / the pets are into you / that’s a good sign do dee do’ and stuff like that - and some stuff in their language so fuck knows! There was a guitar involved too."

OMG a guitar as well? 😯

Spawning? 😕 Like a salmon or a frog?

This is what I want to know

I am from a Scandinavian country. You can't book a taxi rural. It's not a thing. You can be lucky with an Uber but no guarantees.