Should I just try to escape? Visiting friend abroad.

[Fiflaboeuf]

I am currently on a long weekend to visit an old friend I haven’t seen in 13 years. It’s a Scandinavian country, far away from towns and I am from / living in UK. Things were going well - her partner is a bit of a monologuer but we had a fun time yesterday in the daytime. For context this is a friend I had in our 20s - she was in a straight relationship back in the day (we had a friendship group and they were the couple ‘hub’ iyswim) but is now married to a woman.
In the evening the schnapps was flowing and they got really drunk. Talking about gender (never easy!) her partner snaps and says ‘a couple of straight women talking about gender issues!’ In a sort of dismissive way - my friend got really upset about this.
But then her partner snaps back about an affair my friend had with a man while said partner was in hospital for months on end. My friend is like ‘don’t spoil it please!’ I am just trying to keep the peace - and failing - and suggesting we go to bed. Queue hours of arguments and shouting and crying. All to the backdrop of breaking down about world events (friends partner is obsessed).
Somehow everything is suddenly fine and we all hug and go to bed.
Friend’s partner then shows up next to my bed and starts singing a really long spontaneously created song… like on my face and at me, and about me.
I feel like they have lost the plot here in the middle of nowhere - it’s all rather ‘who’s afraid of Virginia wolf’. Almost funny but wtf.
I am seriously tempted to just get a hotel room at the airport - but they are so remote I would have to ask my friend to drive me to the nearest station…
I have had like 4 hrs sleep - the house stinks of cigarettes as they have been chain smoking. I just miss my family.
An I being dramatic? Will I make everything worse again?
We are meant to all be working on a creative thing today and I just can’t imagine it going well.

Omg that’s weird , yes escape and don’t look back .

Start plotting your escape

This reminds me of the movie ‘speak no evil’…. Scary. Get out of there!

Which country is it?
If it's Norway look on entur.no.
Some rural places have a subsidised taxi service which runs like a bus but you have to call it and get it to pick you up.
Failing that either get a taxi or start walking and hitch a lift. I've done that a few times in Norway and it's worked well.

That's the film I was thibking of but am rubbish at names.

It really does sound like the start of something weird.

Your gut is telling you. Listen!

Google is your friend here or take thier car and post the keys back.

First response nails it. I also think the turning up at your bedside like she did is a red flag for abuse in a relationship so I'd check in and make sure your friends OK at the appropriate moment

How did you get there, OP?

I'd wait until it's light anyway. See what their reaction is in the morning. Even if they are very apologetic I'd get them to drop you somewhere.

How far is the nearest town/more populated area?

Id be tempted to just pack my bag and sneak out, walk there and sort transport to the airport.

They sound erratic and I wouldn’t want to risk upsetting them by asking for a lift.

I thought that 😳

I would wait until everyone is up and dressed and has had a cup of coffee. There might be apologies made for the behaviour, in which case accept them in the spirit in which they are made. But still explain that you think it would be better if you found other accommodation for the rest of your stay and would be grateful for a lift into town. I hope you get a chance to speak to your friend on her own and check that things are ok with the relationship, though it sounds very fraught. Remind her that you are still her friend whatever happens.

There must be taxis or buses.

It's nearly 1pm there

Uber?

Do you have Facebook? You could ask if anyone in the town could give you a lift. OR if they know of any taxis.

In my village (UK) people are always asking for favours on FB!

There will absolutely be a taxi company there somewhere - if you haven't left by now use ChatGPT to search for and book a local taxi. The partner sounds bonkers.

I've probably watched too much tv but this whole premise has got a whiff of Scandi folk horror cult-type storyline that all reveals itself around Halloween! On a more serious note though, I wouldn't feel very comfortable either because they don't seem particularly stable mentally. I'd make my excuses and get out. You don't need to spell out why, just that you're not feeling too well and have to get home asap.

Two hours walk is not that difficult for most folk, so that's what I'd do. Basically get out of this toxic house as fast as poss!

😂😂

I want to know this too!

I wouldn’t even hesitate to do a 2 hour walk in these circumstances, if it was my only option. I appreciate though that not everyone is physically capable for various reasons. I hate being stuck in the middle of other people’s domestics. I once went on holiday with 2 friends of mine who were sisters (obviously different dynamic) but never again will I be the odd one out in a group of three. It was a nightmare. It was like being a bloody United Nations peace negotiator.

This sounds unhinged, dysfunctional and potentially dangerous (psychologically and or physically).

So there are 3 solutions (imo):

1. tell your friend need a lift to the next town. Simply say that you don’t feel comfortable staying with her if she wants an explanation. Inform your family beforehand.
2. Lie. Some family emergency has come up and you immediately need to leave. Could she please give you a lift to the next town?
3. book a taxi. Use explanation one or two.

edit: I would probably lie in this situation. You don’t owe them an apology and you owe it to yourself to just leave.

Friend should get you to the airport. I think she owes you that. Utter nightmare. Sounds like something Trier could have thought up for one of his films! Get out.

I now live in a remote part of Sweden with my Sweden husband so I know what you mean about the middle of no-where. As it's the weekend, there will no public transport. Can you go for a long brisk walk (providing you are not it Kiruna as it's snowing already) and listen to some music or something. Then you can go for a lie down saying you are tired as you didn't sleep well last night. That basically cover today. That just leaves tomorrow.

I’d walk to get out of that. It sounds batshit and I definitely wouldn’t be tolerating another day of it.

Fucking hell. What was the song?

this 👆🏽

Eeek! When are you supposed to be going home?