If you have a SEN child, would you be comfortable with this?

[Beetrootisthesecretingredient]

Context: DS7 is autistic. Verbal but with lots of sensory issues and is very rigid.
Yesterday we went cycling along the canal tow path, one of our usual Saturday activities. Its usually quiet and we have a nice time cycling to a certain bridge and back. DS is very noise sensitive. Yesterday there was a series of unfortunate events (in our world): someone using a chain saw, a baby cried and then a loud car backfired, all within 2 mins of each other. DS leaps off bike screams and cries and lies on the tow path. Meltdown.
This happened on a very narrow bit of towpath. At this exact same time 4 older male cyclists in all the lycra wanted to overtake us. DP went to DS to sooth/move out of way. Cyclists have now stopped and said loudly 'FFS just move him out of the way'.
I replied 'it won't take a second he's upset'.
More grumbling and general unkindness from cyclists. DP then loudly called cyclist 'inconsiderate twat'.
DP now wants to get DS a high vis vest that says 'I am autistic please be patient ' but I feel uncomfortable about it.
Fwiw we have a sunflower lanyard but these cyclists either didn't know what it represents of didn't care and DP just doesn't want to get in that situation again.... which ended with all stressed and called people twats.

They did move him. The cyclists had to wait a whole 20 seconds . Someone could have fallen of their bike, or tripped when walking, or had an asthma attack. People should cycle considerately.

Pedestrian would be walking. Not laid on the floor

DS is autistic, he's had shut downs in public, and even when he was 7 or 8, it was hard to move him as he was a dead weight and unable to help. Add in that he'd become hypersensitive so any attempt to move him caused him pain. Sometimes we'd just have to drag him out of the way - ok on a smooth shopping centre floor, less doable on a rougher outside path.

You have no evidence they were going too fast for conditions or were dangerous. They didn't hit him. They were annoyed he was being allowed to lie on the path.

I don't think parents enjoy it, but I do think in this case tried to exaggerate their belief that they were perfectly and reasonably entitled to 'soothe' the child until such time he was willing to move out of others' way BECAUSE AUTISM.

A bit like when cyclists stay right in the middle of the lane when there is no reason not to move over because the highway code ALLOWS IT.

Except he wasn’t being allowed , they were moving him. The cyclist had to wait 20 seconds.

Either it was difficult and a dead weight of a seven year old in meltdown is too much for one adult to manage, or it was done swiftly and no big deal, hardly noticed by onlookers. Can't have it both ways.

The OP l said it took 20sconds. The other comments did not come from the OP. ( but trust me, moving a four year old in melt down is hard enough- so it is difficult just not what the OP said in this situation)

I would get the vest and I also would have moved him out of the way.

I like the sound of a vest actually for mine.

Then they should have found a route that wasn't narrow and likely to be blocked by other users. You can't expect everyone else to get out of the way just because you're timing yourself. Ive met people like this in swimming pools, it is not nice.

I have a child with additional needs and the first thing I would have done in this situation is pick them up and move them out of the way: both for their safety and to not obstruct the cycle path. I'm not sure why you didn't do this?

Or, you know, they know their child and know how to handle this situation?

Being delayed for 20 seconds as stated by OP, or even a full minute or two is not generally catastrophic to someone's day.

It wasn’t a cycle path, it was a tow path - designed for slow walking horses and pedestrians. The fact that cyclists are allowed on tow path’s doesn’t give them priority over pedestrians.

Please don’t put a sign on your child like that.

there was a child in distress. These men didn’t react with sympathy. They don’t care why the child was in distress.

They did

Lycra clad cyclists hate waiting even a nanno second so I would just ignore them tbh.

Then they were completely unreasonable. There are myriad reasons why on a shared pathway like a towpath their precious cycling might have to slow down or cease temporarily for a few seconds: an elderly person walking slowly, somebody injured or collapsed, a fisherman setting up for the day, someone having fallen off a bike, a runner having sprained an ankle, a mother pushing a pram along, etc.

Other people have a right to exist. If cyclists want to cycle with no obstructions they need to either buy a garden large enough for them to do it in space that they own, or keep to dedicated cycle paths (but even then, they could do with learning the highway code and that when these go over pedestrian crossings etc, they don’t always have the right of way).

Nobody said that though, did they? You’ve invented it. Try reading the OP again. And tuck your prejudice in.

Just checking - is there anywhere else autistic children shouldn’t be taken in case they inconvenience others?

Cyclist would have been lucky I didn't shove him into the canal tbh.

Some cyclists are just ignorant twats . I don’t think it would have mattered if your DP was lying in the path with his leg hanging off , they would have still wanted him to move as it was inconvenient
The lanyard should be enough , I think most people understand what they represent but some still choose to disrespect

It would be a completely inappropriate place for a timed ride, and even if they were you have to accept that shit happens.

i was doing a time trial run in the park the other day, was going really well and was on course for a PB, when a woman in front of me had got into a pickle between her dog/toddler/buggy, partially blocking my route. I could have just broken my stride and skirted round her and muttered to myself about losing valuable seconds, but I stopped to see if she needed an extra pair of hands for a minute, the PB can wait for another day.

Just baffles me that there are people so self-centred that their reaction to seeing people struggling is to complain!

Yep.

My child is in a wheelchair and we'll walk in places like that with shared pathways and in that case, if it was especially narrow, cyclists just have to slow down and wait until there's enough room to go past us. Oh well, the pathway doesn't just belong to cyclists wanting to beat their personal best.

I have one NT child and one ND and if either were in significant distress I’m going to prioritise them over causing someone else a minor inconvenience of having to wait 20 seconds every time, autism or no autism.

You can't assert you know how to handle the situation if you become involved in an altercation with another member of the public when it happens and then argue with your partner about how visible to make a child's issue in the hope of guilting others into being more accommodating of your entitled behaviour.