If you have a SEN child, would you be comfortable with this?

[Beetrootisthesecretingredient]

Context: DS7 is autistic. Verbal but with lots of sensory issues and is very rigid.
Yesterday we went cycling along the canal tow path, one of our usual Saturday activities. Its usually quiet and we have a nice time cycling to a certain bridge and back. DS is very noise sensitive. Yesterday there was a series of unfortunate events (in our world): someone using a chain saw, a baby cried and then a loud car backfired, all within 2 mins of each other. DS leaps off bike screams and cries and lies on the tow path. Meltdown.
This happened on a very narrow bit of towpath. At this exact same time 4 older male cyclists in all the lycra wanted to overtake us. DP went to DS to sooth/move out of way. Cyclists have now stopped and said loudly 'FFS just move him out of the way'.
I replied 'it won't take a second he's upset'.
More grumbling and general unkindness from cyclists. DP then loudly called cyclist 'inconsiderate twat'.
DP now wants to get DS a high vis vest that says 'I am autistic please be patient ' but I feel uncomfortable about it.
Fwiw we have a sunflower lanyard but these cyclists either didn't know what it represents of didn't care and DP just doesn't want to get in that situation again.... which ended with all stressed and called people twats.

Have you read the thread? they were moving the child and the cyclists had to wait 20 seconds. They were addressing the situation.

You have a child. That’s the end of your sentence. I have a small class at my mainstream school. 5 children asd. 2 of them, you would not be able to move.

As a biker, it’s on me to assume any risk. Animal or child. Or random rock!

Lack of action?

They moved the child having a meltdown in 20 seconds.

They couldn’t conceivably have taken more rapid action unless you were expecting them to be carrying some kind of weapon to vaporise their son instantly if he happened to have a meltdown, to avoid the terrible trauma to a cyclist that would be caused by having to stop for a few seconds.

20 seconds is actually quite a while. Sounds like they were trying the" soothing" rather than just move him. Wonder if they'd drag him out of the way faster if he was in the middle of a bust road

As a parent of a child with multiple disabilities and complex medical needs, no to the vest. We don’t often use the sunflower lanyard because it’s nobody else’s business. People need to be kinder to everyone in general.

The only people causing any danger would have been the cyclists, if they were cycling too fast to stop in time for any obstruction on a shared public pathway in which they should be expecting numerous people moving more slowly than them, or not at all. This wasn’t a cycle route, but a towpath used by numerous different people for many reasons who all have a right to be there and most of whom will be moving far more slowly than a bike, and in some cases not moving at all, quite legitimately.

Roads are for cars. Sometimes people have to cross them or exit cars into them.

Towpaths are for many people to use including pedestrians, wheelchair users, mothers with buggies or prams, people standing still mooring boats, fisherman setting up equipment, elderly people moving very slowly, runners, walkers stopping to look at the view, or indeed anybody who might just feel like standing still in the middle of the pathway, who has an equal right to be there as any cyclist.

Cyclists should have absolutely no expectation of a clear path free of obstructions to ride at speed on a towpath and if they are struggling to stop when there is an obstruction that is evidence of them riding recklessly, not of anybody else having done anything wrong. It is rather the case that others using the towpath should be able to expect not to be mowed down by incompetent cyclists, let alone abused by cyclists who think they’re on a racetrack and everyone should move out of their way and are aghast that they might have to pause their bike ride for a few seconds because - the horror! - other people are using this public space also.

The analogy to being in the middle of a road is completely false, as I’m sure you and the multiple other disingenuous posters who continue to try to assert it must be aware, particularly as the inauthenticity of this false analogy was highlighted a number of pages ago.

But it’s not a busy road, the cyclists do not have more right to the path than anyone else, twenty seconds for this is quick, and of course you would treat a child with respect and speak to them before dragging them out of the way.

My daughter once had an epileptic seizure in the car park at Euston station. I had to flag down a car racing down to get to the exit while my husband helped her. Obviously we couldn't move her. The driver was fine about it. So who wants to tell me we were so selfish to leave her fitting there? There has to be someone!

That's obviously a real medical emergency. You can't have experienced that and think this is the same.

Would I ? I was fast enough to shift a tantrumming toddler out of the doorway of Boots so she wasn't blocking customers. Shed barely hit the floor before id hauled her out of the way. Less than 5 seconds

No I wasn’t agreeing with your examples. I said there are situations people with the conditions you used in your examples would have to avoid FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY.

But you can continue wilfully misinterpreting what I say if it suits YOUR perspective on the world.

I agree, cyclist really need to avoid tow paths for their own safety in case they bang into small children or elderly people when they are speeding along, and go over the handlebars into the canal.

How awful for you all. That must have been horrible. 💐

I was about to respond and say sarcastically that I’m sure someone will be along in a minute to pretend that somehow other medical conditions matter and autism doesn’t/ is somehow a choice then I saw that the resident ignorant poster had beaten me to it and actually said something this stupid in reality already!

As I said in an earlier post here, it’s as plain as day that most of the nasty posts on this thread aren’t motivated by bizarre and genuine horror about a cyclist having to wait for 20 seconds, rather by very transparent hatred of autistic people. These nasty posters would respond entirely differently had it been any other kind of medical issue involved.

Wouldn’t it have been a terrible shame if they’d fallen in along with their precious bikes, and a couple of cows had fallen off a bridge onto their heads Alan Partridge style, for good measure.

Autistic meltdowns aren’t “tantrums”.

HTH.

I think people don’t see beyond their child’s size. I have year 4’s I can safely remove from a situation if needed.

I have a solid year 1 who for the life of me I couldn’t budge if he’s decided he’s not moving! I consider myself pretty fit aswell.

That’s incredibly rude of the cyclist OP, I don’t cycle but I use a route which is full of kids cycling to and from school. They use the pavement a lot and some are quite wobbly as you can tell they’re just starting off. I always stop and let them pass etc it’s some ones little one trying to get home. It doesn’t matter if he has SEN or not if a child on a bike has stopped you act with consideration and some patience’s because clearly something is going on.

For a start a 7 year old having a melt down is not the same as a toddler having a tantrum. The cyclists do not have more right to the path than anyone else, there are all sorts of reasons they may need to stop/ slow down so they should be riding in a way that allows that. My child with autism is never happier an calmer than when he is doing an out door actively, and 95% of the time he is absolutely fine. We plan meticulously and always try and think through activities, frankly it’s exhausting but we want to give him the same opportunities and experiences as his siblings and there is no reason not too and it’s rare these days he is overwhelmed, but it does happen, no matter how much we plan. And to be honest we do try now places things with him, ( of course or we wouldn’t go anywhere), and occasionally he is overwhelmed. I’m happy in general that people are becoming more understand as we teach him how to navigate the world , it’s makes me sad that some people have such little patience and understanding for people who are experiencing the world in a different way to them.

A toddler is much smaller than a 7 year old and an autistic meltdown is not comparable to a tantrum.

Still2 adults to quickly shift him. I have a 7 year old DGS I could drag out of way if necessary.

The " soothing" can wait until he's not blocking the pathway.

And where did I say they were. ? Not that they look dissimilar to passers by. And 2 grown ADULTS should be able to drag one7 year old out of the way. .As I said if leaving the kid there guaranteedit would be run over then they'd soon bloody move him

20 seconds, if a grown man can’t wait 20 seconds he is being unreasonable. An autistic meltdown is not a tantrum, but I guess if you are not open to understanding the situation and are quick to judge then you are not listening to people trying to explain.

Exactly this.

Just move in a timely manner. And I say this as the mother of a disabled child.

It's not your child's fault that he had a meltdown. It is your fault you didn't move him...or rather were just planning on letting him stay there until he was ready to move. That's why they said something. Whether he is ND and having a meltdown, or NT and simply having a tantrum, you just needed to take action better.

Please don't try and create that people are unaccepting of our children in instances where they have no issue with the child. They had issue with your parenting.

There's no reason the cyclist couldn't have waited 20 seconds. I never mentioned anything about the cyclist did I? Or are you imagining things?

As I said if the child would've been in immediate danger then the parents would've shifted him a damn sight quicker. The difficulty level of moving hjm would've been the same though but I bet they wouldn't be faffing if he would be killed due to laying there The middle of a path is not the place to be " soothing" kids.