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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move home and take on a much bigger mortgage?

126 replies

NameChanger2031 · 26/10/2025 08:40

myself, DH, DS1 (age 9), DS2 (age 7).
MlL and FIL live abroad but visit regularly, as well as lots of other relatives from other parts of UK. We need a guest bedroom.

We live in a 3 bed (plus a tiny office) - DC share. No dining room so only 2 rooms downstairs.
We would like a 4 bed so each DC can have their own room, we would also like some extra living space downstairs.

to move to somewhere we like still within our target secondary school catchment we would need to double our mortgage payments, and it would only just be affordable. So we will be able to manage okay but paying a high mortgage until we retire, won’t really be able to save.
right now, we have plenty of disposable income, and things are not tight at all. If one of us lost our job, we could (just about) manage on a single income.
AIBU to think about giving up a lot of financial safety buffer so kids get their own bedroom?

OP posts:
Tumbleweed101 · 26/10/2025 08:44

Is the third bedroom the office or a guest room right now?

LifeBeginsToday · 26/10/2025 08:45

We did exactly this. We complete tomorrow and I'm so excited. We wasted so much money trying to make a 3 bed work and it just didn't. Even with doubling the mortgage we are paying less than we would if we were to rent the 4 bed, so I feel blessed and lucky to be able to.

HeyBert · 26/10/2025 08:46

The ‘only just be affordable’ would be an instant no for me.
Look what happened recently when mortgage rates went through the roof.
My fixed rate ends in April and, currently, mortgage rates are double my fixed one.
If you could only just afford it now, what happens if rates increase?
What happens if one of you ends up long terms sick and can’t work for 18 months?
What happens if the car dies or the boiler breaks or the washing machine needs replacing…or all 3 of those things happen at once?

zipadeedodah · 26/10/2025 08:48

Do it. Buy as big as you can as soon as you can.

Tumbleweed101 · 26/10/2025 08:48

Could you consider an outdoor guest room/office so the boys both have a room? A good one will be expensive but probably cheaper than a higher mortgage.

Original poster
NameChanger2031 · 26/10/2025 08:50

Tumbleweed101 · 26/10/2025 08:44

Is the third bedroom the office or a guest room right now?

The third bedroom is a guest room right now. DC share a double bedroom.

there is an additional office but it’s tiny. It can fit a cot/toddler bed but not a full single bed.

OP posts:
TheNightingalesStarling · 26/10/2025 08:50

Can you wait until.your eldest is in Secondary and then move slightly further away, or is it a fixed catchment zone for siblings?

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 26/10/2025 08:51

Would it make more financial sense to give up the idea of a guest room and pay for self-catering or a hotel for guests?

potato08 · 26/10/2025 08:51

Can you extend?
Perhaps visiting family need to stay in an air bnb?
Your dc will need their own bedroom when they get older.
I think you'd regret maxing out tbh.
You'd end up resenting the house if all you can afford is to stay in it 24/7

saqiatf · 26/10/2025 08:52

It was a gamble we took that paid off. Our wages increased and now the mortgage (even with the interest rate rise) is comfortably affordable. We will have a bigger asset at the end of it. I think for me it really depends on your prospects, if your wages are top end of what you’ll get then I wouldn’t sacrifice your lifestyle too much, but if you still have room to grow it could be a sacrifice that pays off soon.

Another thing I’d consider is area, I know MN loves location but location can mean lots of things, we moved to a cheaper area that ticked all the boxes but just wasn’t as desirable (still had good schools) and that enabled us to make the leap to a much bigger house and mortgage payments that were affordable. Your kids are the perfect age to consider location. So I wouldn’t rule that out either.

Superhansrantowindsor · 26/10/2025 08:52

It would really bother me not being able to save. I don’t want to work until I’m state pension age so saving is a must. I also like a decent holiday every other year at least. I also would be wary with the age your kids at - teens are very very expensive!
can you not compromise and get a slightly bigger house but not as much money as one you really like?
Also pp comments about interest rates is very important.

Superhansrantowindsor · 26/10/2025 08:54

Also bigger house = bigger running costs and council tax. Factor that in.

Original poster
NameChanger2031 · 26/10/2025 08:57

Superhansrantowindsor · 26/10/2025 08:52

It would really bother me not being able to save. I don’t want to work until I’m state pension age so saving is a must. I also like a decent holiday every other year at least. I also would be wary with the age your kids at - teens are very very expensive!
can you not compromise and get a slightly bigger house but not as much money as one you really like?
Also pp comments about interest rates is very important.

Even just slightly bigger is a lot more expensive or needs a lot of work which would be expensive. The ones that are just a bit more expensive don’t give the extra bedroom, or would need £100k spend to build the loft extension.

OP posts:
Tumbleweed101 · 26/10/2025 08:59

I’d stay put.Your boys will probably happily share until secondary school age. You can review if someone is willing to give up a bedroom for guests or help them with Airbnb costs. How long do they stay at each visit?

babbi · 26/10/2025 08:59

Sorry , I think you would be mad to put yourself in a “ just about affordable “ position simply to maintain a guest room .
Allocate that room to your DC and take care of your family first .
Guests that visit should not be a priority and impact your monthly outgoings to that extent .

At the very least get saving now and potentially move later if you are in a better financial position ..

Original poster
NameChanger2031 · 26/10/2025 09:00

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 26/10/2025 08:51

Would it make more financial sense to give up the idea of a guest room and pay for self-catering or a hotel for guests?

we do need the guest room, various relatives who live far away visit regularly and help out a lot with childcare /school pickup etc.

OP posts:
tupils · 26/10/2025 09:02

Are the any prospects for you or DP to be promoted / get a pay rise? If so, I think I’d make the move.

Shinyandnew1 · 26/10/2025 09:03

we do need the guest room, various relatives who live far away visit regularly and help out a lot with childcare /school pickup etc.

Where do they stay at the moment?

Theres no way I would put myself in such a difficult financial arrangement to gain a guest room.

Original poster
NameChanger2031 · 26/10/2025 09:03

babbi · 26/10/2025 08:59

Sorry , I think you would be mad to put yourself in a “ just about affordable “ position simply to maintain a guest room .
Allocate that room to your DC and take care of your family first .
Guests that visit should not be a priority and impact your monthly outgoings to that extent .

At the very least get saving now and potentially move later if you are in a better financial position ..

the guests are family (our parents) and we need to prioritise them too as well as DC. Both sets help us a lot, they need to be able to stay with us.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 26/10/2025 09:05

I would cast the net wider, there are lots of good schools in areas that might be cheaper.

I would 100% move to a bigger house now, as you will need extra room when they are teenagers.

But I would not get into huge debt. Find a bigger house in a cheaper area with a good school. Even if it means moving an hour away. keep looking!!

Original poster
NameChanger2031 · 26/10/2025 09:05

Shinyandnew1 · 26/10/2025 09:03

we do need the guest room, various relatives who live far away visit regularly and help out a lot with childcare /school pickup etc.

Where do they stay at the moment?

Theres no way I would put myself in such a difficult financial arrangement to gain a guest room.

They have a room. DC share the other room. DH and I also have a room. All 3 bedrooms are decent size.

OP posts:
YellowStockings · 26/10/2025 09:07

For now, could you try:

  • bedroom 1: single bed / bunk bed and decent sofa bed
  • bedroom 2: bunk beds

This is the set up some of our friends have and it works brilliantly. When you have guests, DC 1 sleeps in the bunk with DC2, otherwise each has own bedroom.

Original poster
NameChanger2031 · 26/10/2025 09:07

tupils · 26/10/2025 09:02

Are the any prospects for you or DP to be promoted / get a pay rise? If so, I think I’d make the move.

Not huge prospects. We both earn well but there isn’t much more scope for promotion, so likely inflationary increases only.

OP posts:
Whoevenarethey · 26/10/2025 09:09

I think I would be getting relatives to stay in other accomodation rather than be focusing on buying a new home at my expense to accommodate them when they visit.

Waitingfordoggo · 26/10/2025 09:09

I wouldn’t risk it personally, for all the reasons already stated. I think it would be madness to give up security and the ability to save just so people can use a guest room some of the time- I know my family members would far rather stay in an Airbnb or hotel than know that I was stretching myself financially just so I could provide them with a room. At any rate, I could offer to pay for their Airbnb as I’d have the financial flexibility to do so.