To move home and take on a much bigger mortgage?

[NameChanger2031]

myself, DH, DS1 (age 9), DS2 (age 7).
MlL and FIL live abroad but visit regularly, as well as lots of other relatives from other parts of UK. We need a guest bedroom.

We live in a 3 bed (plus a tiny office) - DC share. No dining room so only 2 rooms downstairs.
We would like a 4 bed so each DC can have their own room, we would also like some extra living space downstairs.

to move to somewhere we like still within our target secondary school catchment we would need to double our mortgage payments, and it would only just be affordable. So we will be able to manage okay but paying a high mortgage until we retire, won’t really be able to save.
right now, we have plenty of disposable income, and things are not tight at all. If one of us lost our job, we could (just about) manage on a single income.
AIBU to think about giving up a lot of financial safety buffer so kids get their own bedroom?

Exactly. Yes, lots of children share and no, it's not really a big deal, but it makes zero sense to complain about it when you have an entire room sat there free.

On a take-home of 10k, it's not like they can't afford to pay for childcare either.

@NameChanger2031
That’s a great suggestion from @RandomMess (wait for a period of time while ‘paying’ the double mortgage, and seeing if it is manageable, while also saving the extra in the meantime).

I think you should also combine it with more of a ‘hot-desk’ concept… could your office room become a small bedroom that your boys take it in turns to sleep in when you have guests? So if your parents stay for 2 months, one boy will sleep in the small bedroom for 1 month, and the other will sleep in it for the other month. You could also fit out both of your boy’s bedrooms with double bunk beds (so a queen size bed underneath, and a single bed on top), or just with double beds, so both boys’ room is suitable for your parents to stay in.

I can understand why you would want to accommodate parents, especially as they are helping with childcare, but if you are also regularly having random guests then perhaps re-think that. Maybe the more ‘random’ guests get to sleep on a sofa bed in the living room? That may then put a natural limit in how long / often the more random guests visit.

In terms of moving for a bigger house - it can quite often be cheaper to go for a smaller house that you can convert the loft of - eg some single-fronted terraced houses (if they have a deep enough plan, and a large kitchen / dining room in the rear of the plan) can have a loft conversion that achieves 2 bedrooms and a small shower room. When we were looking into this (many years ago, in south east London), it typically cost £150k extra to buy a bigger house (with an extra bedroom), but you could achieve a two-bed loft conversion for about £45k. But this was a long time ago!!

Absolutely not. We’ve done this previously, in a much better and more stable financial/economic climate, and almost instantly regretted it. The bigger house and space was beautiful but the stress that came with knowing we were flying by the seat of our pants financially just wasn’t worth it. And for those who say it will get easier - how? The UK as a whole (and the world tbh) is facing a very rocky road economically, costs will only continue to rise, and not to mention that your boys are about to be pre-teens then teenagers and honestly, it’s shocking how expensive teens are. Then you have uni etc as well to consider.
I think the bunk beds idea is a good one, but your best option is a garden cabin for guests, which will also add value to your house without the many thousands it would cost you to move, and could double as a fun area for your kids to hang out when they’re older. I think it’s utter madness to stretch yourself to the limit in this climate, to accommodate a guest room.

Mumsnet standards? I am a stay home mum carer so no choice, my dh brings home around 2500 a month and works like a dog and is out the house 12 hours a day. Been in that place almost 30 years and trained up over the years,

He is on almost £18 an hour (asked for a pay rise 2 times and both times was very little given as a raise while his boss is loaded, so not even min wage and still not much take home. There are a lot of people not well off on mumsnet! Its a mixed bag...Or am I just imagining that?

You have enough rooms for your family, you are choosing for your dc to share so that guests can have a room to themselves.
And you are also considering extending yourself financially for these guests. Why are these people so important to you? Give your children their own rooms and buy a sofa bed for the living room, if guests don’t like it they can stay elsewhere.
Alternatively you can double your mortgage payments to provide random guests with their comfort.

You need to give your children a bedroom each and then they just share when guests visit. Alternate who gives their room up each time so it feels fair.

So you already have four bedrooms but your DC share? That’s potty.

No, I wouldn’t move. I would rejig things so you don’t have to.

You either reconsider the allocation of space in the current house or add some extra space through an extension or garden room or move to the bigger house and get the constant guests to make a contribution to household costs - let family know you need to move in order to give the children more space and privacy but that it will be a stretch and you would appreciate their help with an occasional contribution - maybe they would be happy to provide some food for the duration of their stay or pick up a one-off bill such as the water bill or a council tax bill for a month or pay for children's school uniform or put a small weekly amount into the general shopping budget.

If you have a low mortgage and plenty of disposable income at the moment I presume you have some savings already and can keep some of that for an emergency fund and put some of it towards a deposit on the new house or costs of moving.

Mortgages are more flexible these days than they used to be so you can work around the 40% - for example opt for a longer term to reduce the monthly payments or as a temporary measure if you hit a rough patch. And you can make small occasional overpayments if you have a bit of cash from interest on savings or a pay rise, promotion or bonus. You can even have a mortgage that extends into retirement if you have sufficient income from pensions. Extra space for a comfortable life is a wonderful thing if you can manage it.

Is it worth reviewing your budget? On 10k/ month, 4k on mortgage should be fine and leave room to still save a good buffer in case one of you loses a job.

(Sorry, my household income is around 4k which I consider a lot and we still save over 1k a month so i genuinely can't imagine 6k after mortgage being tight and not leaving savings)

It's a different culture that highly prioritises family. "Guests" doesn't fairly reflect what's going on here, sounds like they have family staying for months at a time up to 75% of the year. It would be more accurate to think of this as a multi generational living situation.

Not rtft so apologies if repeating but can you extend the property in such a way that it will give you what you need?

How old are you?
I moved to a larger place and took on a bigger mortgage at 51, hoping that house price inflation (likely) and wage increases (much less likely) would take care of it and that I'd manage to pay it off before I retired. I realised at the time that if that didn't work, I would need to sell on retiring and downsize. I also realised that I was running quite a risk if my health deteriorated and I couldn't maintain my income. In that time, I've been unemployed once for about 6 months, and had a close shave once too. It's still a risk, but I have paid enough now that I'm less worried.

8 years on, house price inflation has been virtually nothing in my area (central London) and my salary has been fairly static. I still expect to pay the mortgage off before I retire, but only just, and while I'll have a reasonable pension it will be a lot less than peers who have already paid off their mortgages, which I could have done by now. My savings are small.

I don't regret it. I've loved living in my bigger place, and I would have found lockdown a lot harder. I expect I will get a lifetime mortgage / equity release at some point, or perhaps move and downsize in my late 60s. I will need the house to pay for end of life care at least, and probably contribute to retirement income. I don't expect to leave much but have no children so not worried about that.

I think, with two good incomes and the circumstances you describe, I would do it. Your boys will find it harder to share a room as they get older, though childcare support will be less needed too, but if you're finding the place cramped now, it's only going to get worse for the next 10-15 years.
Do it now, pay off as much as you can for the next couple of years so that you have a bit of a cushion if things go wrong, and enjoy!

Good luck!

I would do it and buy the best house you can reasonably afford. For me the place you spend most of your time is always a good use of funds.
As the kids grow up and fly the nest you can always downsize to free money up again.

Quite! And I would say a 10k a month take home pay is still very large even by MN standards!!

Unless you have kids in private school (doesn't seem to be as you mention catchment) or massive debts then i cannot understand why you can't save money each month on 6k?? That is not 'just about affordable'.

I think I must live in a parallel universe to some of the women on here.

Would you consider a loft conversion that isn’t all singing all dancing? Our neighbours have had theirs done to a basic standard in their three bed house for £25k. It’s lined and flooded and has a window installed. It had a ladder and power. Plug in oil based radiator heats it.

The kids sleep up there and love it. The only inconvenience is the ladder being permanently fixed and not ideal, but the extra space it creates has been worth it.

Ok, I thought so, so whats the opportunity to pool resources and get a different tyupe of ownership, buy with your inlaws perhaps? Ask for a loan then you wont have the massive interest to pay on an extra mortgage?

The master bedroom is already on the 2nd floor. The house was built like this.

Can't you divide the master bedroom into two with a stud wall?

We have an IKEA single bed which has an integral pull out second bed which can be stored away. It's less intrusive than bunk beds. The bottom draw is good for storage

Why not have one of these then the kids can have separate bedrooms for the most part but share if you have guests? Good for when mates sleep over too.

www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/slaekt-bed-frame-with-underbed-and-storage-white-s89227731/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic-shopping&utm_campaign=shopping_feed&utm_content=free_google_shopping_clicks_Children%27sIKEA

Also in 4 years time when they are both at secondary would you need as much child care from relatives?

Can you build an extension?

Agree with everyone saying your family comes first and the guest room should go. Research accommodation options locally and have a plan for when your in laws visit. Stay in your house and keep maxing your saving - you will not regret it!

I was going to ask this.

A previous poster suggested a garden cabin, which I thought was a great idea. Alternatively what about a loft conversion or a single story ground floor extension? Any of those would be considerably cheaper than doubling your mortgage I would have thought.

Sorry- I see loft conversion was already discussed.

Have you considered building a garden room, complete with power and air conditioning?

We are looking to build one which will cost £20- 25k

If we were to move to a slightly larger house it would cost £250 - 300k more than our current house and more than double - nearly triple our mortgage!

We lost a reception room as both my Husband and I now we mostly work from home (Post Covid) plus our eldest daughter is in her early teens and needs more private space to study and entertain friends!

A two room garden room (Office and entertainment space) is the perfect solution!

Her friends can have sleepovers in there, we can work in there during the day, and we will get our second lounge back which can also be used for guest sleeping.

You can get plumbing installed for a saniflow style bathroom too, etc…