To move home and take on a much bigger mortgage?

[NameChanger2031]

myself, DH, DS1 (age 9), DS2 (age 7).
MlL and FIL live abroad but visit regularly, as well as lots of other relatives from other parts of UK. We need a guest bedroom.

We live in a 3 bed (plus a tiny office) - DC share. No dining room so only 2 rooms downstairs.
We would like a 4 bed so each DC can have their own room, we would also like some extra living space downstairs.

to move to somewhere we like still within our target secondary school catchment we would need to double our mortgage payments, and it would only just be affordable. So we will be able to manage okay but paying a high mortgage until we retire, won’t really be able to save.
right now, we have plenty of disposable income, and things are not tight at all. If one of us lost our job, we could (just about) manage on a single income.
AIBU to think about giving up a lot of financial safety buffer so kids get their own bedroom?

Is there no way to extend or reconfigure your current home that would be cheaper than buying a bigger one?

yes, it’s an Asian family setup. Airbnb is not an option.

Hard No it’s too risky

You need capacity to pay for repairs but goodness you need to be paying extra into savings or pension - not burdening yourself with a huge mortgage so family can stay at your expense - it would be unreasonable for kids to sleep on Z Beds to make way for guests or for guests to stay in near travelodge

Id no way be prioritising a guest room over my children have their own room in your current set OR the same but putting your long term financial security in peril

What % of your take home pay is your mortgage now? What will double that be?

I wouldn’t put the comfort of occasional visitors above my own children. The children get a room each and can bunk in together when you have visitors.
Unless you have a considerable financial buffer I would not be stretching myself in today’s financial climate.

so that is another option,

DH and I have the living room. But that would mean literally no living space whatsoever while each DC had a decent double. We also have office space set up in our room.

Even without the family staying over there is no way I would have an empty bedroom and the children sharing. It's the childrens home first, they need the space all year round, not relatives who visit a few times a year.

Like others have said get a sofa bed, you can also get large footstools that open into a single bed. One of our DC has one in his room for friends to use.

mortgage is currently ~20% of combined take home
it will go to ~40% of combined take home

We could, but there is talk of the school changing admissions criteria to not prioritise siblings unless they are still within catchment

Once your dc are 12/13 they won’t need anyone to look after them in the holidays. You’d be mad to move and max yourselves out to maintain a ‘guest room’. Give your children a room each and pay for your parents to stay nearby in a hotel surely?

You’ll need max savings when they’re older due to university costs which are getting more expensive, pensions, house maintenance, their housing deposits etc. Bigger house will mean higher energy and possibly council tax bills. What if one of you becomes ill, loses their job. You might not think it will happen but these things do happen.
Can you not go into the loft or build a fancy studio place in your garden? I’ve seen some amazing spaces there.

40% of take home would be too high and very risky in my opinion. Yes there are people who have to do this (live in London) but you’re already in a 4 bed space house and comfortable financially.

I’d definitely look at a garden room, BIL has had o e built for around £15k, it’s very warm and spacious and has a (tiny) en-suite shower room.
it could double as a den for your children when they are teens.

Partition the double into two separate zones each with a single bed and desk with a divider between them. Each child has some private space.

I’ve seen some ideas where people use storage like IKEA Kallax as the divider

Absolutely not.
The stress and worry of years and years of watching every penny is not worth it.
Children become far more expensive as they age.
Make this house work until secondary school.

you don’t need a guest bedroom , you want one

the most capable sleep in the living room when you have guests

or the children bunk up in one room when you have guests and give up their room to the visitors

I second this although MN usually says don’t over stretch, think of the holidays you won’t be able to afford etc.

We’ve a 5-bed, 4-bath and it has been wonderful for our DC to grow up in. As your children grow you will find yourselves hosting more sleepovers, parties 50 weeks of the year when a holiday is for two weeks.

Go for it!!

40% of take home salary? Honestly just don't do it - like I said you will quickly tire of it and the extra space becomes a burden. You can make this work where you are. Unfortunately the extended family will have to take second place. In your situation I would look into a decent garden room if you have space for one. Not a cat in hells chance would I give up 40% of my income for many years (unless you earn shitloads of course).

They might enjoy the snugness. I did.

I’m also in this camp. It might be a stretch at first but it gets easier, especially as you progress through your careers.

Property is such a sensible investment. Holidays less so. What are you saving for if it’s not to enhance your lives?

Presumably you’re in a better financial situation than OP and her husband, or/and bought your house at a time when houses were more affordable. I don’t think it’s great to encourage OP to massively stretch to the point where she couldn’t save a penny, not when there’s kids involved.

I pay around 40% of my salary now to my mortgage as i had to start again at 40 and am overpaying as I have a goal to retire at 60. I am also supporting DS at Uni and I have to say it is really really hard. I hate not being able to be frivolous even a little bit. With the cost of everything rising I rarely eat out which I used to love and the cost of a supermarket shop makes my eyes water. For me however this is short lived as DS finishes Uni next year. No way on this planet would I want to live like this for many many years. Your kids will get older and believe me they become more expensive.

Only you can really know if the cost of that extra bedroom is worth the sacrifice of having more financial freedom.

It is quite possible to have sleepovers and parties in small houses you know - it’s not only the rich who party !

and op isn’t rich enough

Do it. Buy as big as you can as soon as you can

Oh dear god no!

A different economic climate with lower interest rates, maybe. But not now. No way.

DH has always earned well. Got made redundant a few months ago, took a long time to get another job - big pay cut.

I'm part time, thought I'd just increase my hours to fill some of the gap. No more hours available and AI is eyeing up my role.

We did exactly this three years ago. Money is tight (the mortgage has more than doubled to over 40% of our combined salary) but our living space has more than tripled. We were living on top of each other before; had to move the dining table every time we wanted to use the washing machine, the wardrobe doors in our bedroom couldn't be opened fully, and DD2 could only fit a toddler bed in her room. Life is much happier for everybody.

I'm not arguing that you shouldn't feel how you feel or want more space generally but to literally double your mortgage payments where the main benefit is to someone else coming over and having no accommodation costs for their trip is not very sensible or fair on you IMO.

MIL & FIL chose to move away and they need to suck up the costs of visiting.

It would probably be cheaper to just pay their hotel bill.

I'm not saying don't move, I'm just saying that your space should be focused on maximising the benefits to the primary residents.