To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

[SittingOnIt]

DC will be 5.

They are having a party in a hall. With a lunch castle, that type of set up

I have a text (WhatsApp) from the mum who invited us asking for a deposit of £5 for the Papa John’s pizza. And if DC had allergies, could we please send over the money for her own personalised small pizza?

Not a joke. But I thought it was some sort of odd text scam. Then realised it couldn’t be, as it was about the party? Same text style as the woman

Is this normal, to charge for birthday food now? Seems very, very odd!

Dessert is cake and no cost there requested. My own mum would be in fits of laughter to be told someone was hosting a party and charging for food

Very crass!

But only 2 things matter here...

Does your child want to go/would be upset to miss?
Is the "deposit" a financial struggle for you?

IF your DC would really want to go and you can afford it, send them and judge.

If not in either case, decline and judge.

We'll all enjoy the judging!

Nope not normal at all
They'll probably have no attendees and the shame of being those people who tried to charge for their kids bday party in reception FOREVER!!!!

Should I set up a separate group chat and ask some of the other mums I know that are going??

Can you just message one woman? The one who will probably know the answers and will be discreet?

I'd ask if it is a refundable deposit if they turn up, and for an invoice.

Don’t set up a separate group chat, just message back the mum either asking for clarification or if you’re not wanting to deal with it, opt out, previous engagement you forgot about type thing.

A large papa John pizza is around £25. How many slices would each child eat?

I guess they're kind of tight or broke?

Immediately no.
I'd actually text her back and say what an odd thing it is to ask for people to pay for their own food and as such you'll be declining.
Note that odd actually means cheeky as fuck.

Crazy! Can't afford it then don't do it! I wouldn't pay and encourage this level of cheekiness/madness.

Bizarre! Ask her if she wants a contribution to the hall too and see what she says 😂

Just to add, was recently my birthday and I wanted Papa Johns and guess who paid for my guests to eat...Me! My birthday, my guests, my payment!

Is it a group WhatsApp? If so, do what @FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren says.

With 4 Dc, I've never heard of such cheap fuckery. Have had a Dc invited to a place 3 hours away and then received a group WhatsApp less than a week before saying 'oh by the way, you all need to sort your own transport', I thought that was really odd.

So odd!! Definitely ask more questions about fi al payment etc. I would be inclined to decline out of principle!!

It's peculiar but also a bit sad. Perhaps the mother wasn't well.parented and just doesn't know the rules. She'll soon find out when others invite her child to parties and there's no charge.

It's saddest for the innocent child who may have to suffer sniggering behind her back.

It's the child's party and it isn't the child's fault. I think I'd just pay the fiver and suck it up and chalk it to experience for the sakenof the little girl having a nice party to remember.

I would text back and say ‘this doesn’t sound like my kind of party, thanks for the invite but I will not be going now. Good day’

Not. Normal! I’d also want to ensure it’s only the one payment not more on the day. What being said, a £5 with no present to buy (because surely they don’t need one if they are charging) is still quite a cheap afternoon activity to tire out a kid so I’d consider it that way

That is very strange. My kids have been to over a hundred parties between them and I have never experienced this.

The worst I experienced was a party where no food was provided, which I thought was very mean. (It was a well off family, and in their house, so no hire cost). I left early because my child was hungry.

I wouldn't pay to attend a party.

Nope I have two kids now grown never been charged for a party! Between them they’ve been skating, dry ski slope, laser tag, go-karts, bowling, trampoline… never asked for money.

My dc are teens now but of all the varied parties they have been to I have never been charged for food or anything else. Very odd

I agree with this, everyone is being quite nasty without thinking about why the mum doesn't know how parties work

Is there a cultural difference that might explain it?

4 kids later this has never happened. So odd! Probably would just let it go and give a tiny present. Unless this starts a whole trend in your class.. ... 🙄 good luck to her collecting all these fivers. She hasn't a clue.

Not normal. Ridiculous in fact

Decline! Really weird

I would message back and ask if there is a cost for attending the party. If she says yes thn just say that unfortunately your child won't be able to attend

Very strange. Not heard of this before and I have attended more than my fair share of kids parties!

I would be tempted to message back don’t worry about pizza for sittingonit junior they are not keen on pizza and see what the mum replies 😂

It’s weird and not normal. I’d feel like declining the invitation on principle tbh - “sorry, I had thought you were inviting my child to a birthday party but I don’t have the budget to contribute towards the costs for a party that isn’t their own, so will have to decline. Hope your child has a lovely time!”