Page 10 | To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

Bloozie · 23/10/2025 14:40

I've paid a bit towards a kids party before. I wouldn't have a problem with it. Time's are hard, money is tight, if the parents can't afford it, they can't afford it.

Roosch · 23/10/2025 14:44

Very tacky to ask for money to attend a party!

They should just host the party they can afford.

However it would also be very tacky to start a group of all the other mums to gossip about how tacky the birthday mum is….

housethatbuiltme · 23/10/2025 15:40

Embarrassing for them.

You can have a party for virtually any budget but you have to feed/water your guests with in that budget. Even if thats just cordial, cheap homemade sandwiches and no brand crisps.

There is utterly no reason to be ordering each child an individual pizza from a large take away chain place, I wouldn't even do that for an adult party due to the costs never mind kids who might take 2 bites and wander off.

Kids mini pizzas are 58p is Asda for margarita and 60p for ham if they really want pizzas.

InMyOpenOnion · 23/10/2025 15:44

Mmm, it's definitely odd. But if your DD already knows about the party and is excited, I would probably still go. Don't start a separate WhatsApp group to talk about it, that's incredibly devisive. Chalk it up to experience and decline next year's invite if you get one.

housethatbuiltme · 23/10/2025 15:48

ManteesRock - both of those thing are equally tacky and technically not legal so make the petty person doing it look utterly ridiculous.

You cannot invite someone to a party then create a non-agreed contract and attempt to charge money regardless of if the show up or not. That would be known as a scam.

SmallestGnome · 23/10/2025 16:01

No, it's not normal but in school I went to a 16th birthday party where we were all charged £2.50 at the door and the entertainment was a phone connected to speakers, and the food was some buffet food on the family dining room table. We had to bring our own drinks. Still don't know what the 2.50 was for

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 23/10/2025 16:43

Say 'great, be there will bells on. Oh and I'll do the after party... it's going to be £20 each + £1 for cloakroom'

Dontknowwhyidoit · 23/10/2025 16:56

A deposit might mean you get the £5 back when your child attends. Maybe this is her way of ensuring all the children come if she orders lots of pizzas and there are lots of no shows. I might be being optimistic though 😆

Treylime · 23/10/2025 17:02

Dontknowwhyidoit · 23/10/2025 16:56

A deposit might mean you get the £5 back when your child attends. Maybe this is her way of ensuring all the children come if she orders lots of pizzas and there are lots of no shows. I might be being optimistic though 😆

That's still an odd thing to do, handing back fivers to parents when they arrive.

SouthLondonMum22 · 23/10/2025 17:30

housethatbuiltme · 23/10/2025 15:40

Embarrassing for them.

You can have a party for virtually any budget but you have to feed/water your guests with in that budget. Even if thats just cordial, cheap homemade sandwiches and no brand crisps.

There is utterly no reason to be ordering each child an individual pizza from a large take away chain place, I wouldn't even do that for an adult party due to the costs never mind kids who might take 2 bites and wander off.

Kids mini pizzas are 58p is Asda for margarita and 60p for ham if they really want pizzas.

Edited

They may not have a kitchen available at the venue to cook supermarket pizzas. They may also struggle with transporting sandwiches and other party food if they don't drive so takeaway pizza might be the easiest option for them.

gingercat02 · 23/10/2025 17:37

Not normal at all. We took 8 boys to pizza hut one year, we paid. Been to at least a billion birthday parties never paid for any of them

Sagaciously · 23/10/2025 17:45

That’s completely shameful. I’d be declining.

HandmadeNanna · 23/10/2025 18:29

SittingOnIt · 22/10/2025 21:03

DC will be 5.

They are having a party in a hall. With a lunch castle, that type of set up

I have a text (WhatsApp) from the mum who invited us asking for a deposit of £5 for the Papa John’s pizza. And if DC had allergies, could we please send over the money for her own personalised small pizza?

Not a joke. But I thought it was some sort of odd text scam. Then realised it couldn’t be, as it was about the party? Same text style as the woman

Is this normal, to charge for birthday food now? Seems very, very odd!

Dessert is cake and no cost there requested. My own mum would be in fits of laughter to be told someone was hosting a party and charging for food

I assume you are talking about a children's party? I wouldn't expect to pay if my child has been invited.
I would say that if the parent can't afford a pizza party in a hall, then a simple party at home would be the answer.
I have never done any of my children's parties at another venue as I can't afford to.
I only ever had complaints once - dd's 16th Birthday. I didn't organise games. You would have thought the world had ended. 17th Birthday and I'm organising games again!
Often get asked by friends of my children whether there is going to be a party and can they come. They all prefer it to going to a hall with bouncy castle/ clown/ magician/ disco.

Acg1991 · 23/10/2025 20:00

Firstly to clarify, this is not something I would ever do!
But... I can kind of see why she would want to, as at that age they normally invite the whole class and lots will either not RSVP or say yes and never turn up. Asking for money allows her to know how many people are genuinely intending on turning up. Can't imagine why that is such a problem for a party in a hall though, definitely annoying if it is a party where you have to prepay per person.
Personally I'd just stick to cheap party food from Iceland or whatever and if more or less people turn up than expected then it's not a huge deal.
But whatever the reason, it's really cheeky! I've often taken DC's friends with us to do activities and will never accept any money towards it as I factor in paying for them and if I can't afford it, we don't take them!

Flakey99 · 23/10/2025 20:22

Do you think she’s asking for a deposit to ensure that people turn up and don’t flake last minute? That seems like a good idea if you then get the deposit back before the party finishes.

In your shoes, I’d ask her to clarify what the deposit covers and if it’s refundable etc. as you’ve never been asked to pay a deposit for a children’s birthday party before.

PloddingAlong21 · 23/10/2025 20:23

Properly weird and not typical, no.

I would pay it though as it’s a fiver for kids to have fun.

party is life at that age. Even at 8 my son lives for a birthday party.

Corse · 23/10/2025 20:33

SittingOnIt · 22/10/2025 21:11

Thank you. Sounded really strange but this is my first experience of DC going to a birthday party

Should I set up a separate group chat and ask some of the other mums I know that are going??

Feels a bit mean.

I know your child is in reception but surely you know there is no need for a WhatsApp. You walk into the playground and find the group of mums having a whispered conversation about the mad bat who asked them to pay to attend a party.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 23/10/2025 20:51

I’d clarify whether you get the deposit back?!

very strange!! Never had this before.

Spinmerightroundbaby · 23/10/2025 21:02

SittingOnIt · 22/10/2025 21:03

DC will be 5.

They are having a party in a hall. With a lunch castle, that type of set up

I have a text (WhatsApp) from the mum who invited us asking for a deposit of £5 for the Papa John’s pizza. And if DC had allergies, could we please send over the money for her own personalised small pizza?

Not a joke. But I thought it was some sort of odd text scam. Then realised it couldn’t be, as it was about the party? Same text style as the woman

Is this normal, to charge for birthday food now? Seems very, very odd!

Dessert is cake and no cost there requested. My own mum would be in fits of laughter to be told someone was hosting a party and charging for food

It’s pretty odd but I’m going to guess there’s a back story to it. Perhaps they’ve had parties before where they’ve paid a lot and someone didn’t show, and want to make sure people do attend. Do you know if it’s a refundable deposit? Also too it might be considered as an alternative to a present or you could just pay a lot less for a present.

Personally I’ve never known anyone to request a deposit for a child’s birthday party (different for adult birthday dinners where everyone pays their own meal and maybe doesn’t bring a present or a token item). But… having been burnt myself and paying out and having several no shows at a party, at considerable expense, I don’t blame them and a fiver isn’t unreasonable.

JaneGrint · 23/10/2025 21:21

I’ve got 3 DC and I’ve never been asked to pay anything towards a kids party that they’ve been invited to.

Gowlett · 23/10/2025 21:26

I’d pay a fiver for a lunch castle!

I have a friend who would charge for a party.
She works out how much it will cost her…
Then decides to do nothing or ask for money.
But will come to your party & eat everything!

ThatBusyPanda · 23/10/2025 21:30

The poor woman is probably struggling with the cost of living and doesn’t want to disappoint her child. Of course you shouldn’t set up a group chat to discuss her

Nsky62 · 23/10/2025 21:55

SouthLondonMum22 · 22/10/2025 22:14

Pizza and a party in a hall is hardly a luxury birthday party. If you can afford £5 for the pizza, I'd just pay it personally.

The thing is what of those that can’t afford it

SouthLondonMum22 · 23/10/2025 22:02

Nsky62 · 23/10/2025 21:55

The thing is what of those that can’t afford it

Show quote history

Use it instead of buying a birthday present or buy a cheaper birthday present
Say DC doesn't like pizza and ask about bringing a packed lunch
Ask if you'll get the deposit back/what exactly is the deposit for
Don't go

Quite a few options.

Mcoco · 23/10/2025 22:41

No i have never been asked to pay at a party. I would decline on principle.