To wonder if charging people to attend a party is normal?

[SittingOnIt]

DC will be 5.

They are having a party in a hall. With a lunch castle, that type of set up

I have a text (WhatsApp) from the mum who invited us asking for a deposit of £5 for the Papa John’s pizza. And if DC had allergies, could we please send over the money for her own personalised small pizza?

Not a joke. But I thought it was some sort of odd text scam. Then realised it couldn’t be, as it was about the party? Same text style as the woman

Is this normal, to charge for birthday food now? Seems very, very odd!

Dessert is cake and no cost there requested. My own mum would be in fits of laughter to be told someone was hosting a party and charging for food

Perfectly reasonable, Papa Johns pizza is expensive and at our local one if ordering more than 4 you have to pay and order a few days in advance
People are flakey and don't turn up to parties nowadays for stupid reasons. At my daughter's indoor ice skating party where I'd paid £10 per child in advance someone cancelled 10 minutes before it was due to start "because it was raining and her daughter had just had her hair done" another cancelled because "she didn't realise it would be cold at the ice rink" and she wanted to wear a party dress not wrap up warm!
I honestly wish I'd have asked for refundable deposits from parents!

My DD has just turned 4. We bought every child a happy meal as I couldn’t be bothered to do the food myself. Would never dream of charging the parents, after all, it’s my child and my choice to do what I did

No not normal and definately rude. If shes struggling to have the money to cater then doing the party inbetween meal times and just putting out some packs of crisps and a slice of birthday cake is so much better than this CF pizza charging idea

Surely that's just a risk you take when you decide to host?!

And if Papa John's pizzas are expensive, the host could buy a couple of loaves of bread and some cheese and make sandwiches instead.

If you can't afford it, then don't host. Or at the very least, you make any costs clear to invitees at the time of sending the invitation.

It's rude, OP. Perfectly reasonable if you decide to decline the invitation in response, though you may want to suck it up if your dc is already excited about the party.

I'd reach out to the parent and ask what they mean by "deposit" cos you've never heard of it before. I'm wondering if they don't know what deposits are? Is it to avoid ordering too much and having no shows? Are they inexperienced in the world on kid's parties? Can they afford the party? Haven't they thought about taking a load of cheap oven cooked pizzas/homemade food with them? Is she just a CF? I suspect it's the CF thing but I am quite empathetic and like to see the good in people.

No, ridiculous. They provide the food, supply what you can afford or don’t have the party.

Not normal. I would pull out.

I’d not react as badly as some of the posters here or decline, if my child wished to go and I could afford it. Yes it’s not the norm, but maybe she can’t afford a party, and sure I get that means she should not have one, but maybe it means her kid could never have one. I’d pay to be honest.

I’ve never been charged a deposit for a party, and no it’s not normal. It is however very very tempting given the number of families who’ve rsvp’d yes, not turned up, and I’ve lost the money I’ve paid for an unused place!

I would pay it, take my child, and let them have a nice afternoon…..

It's not something I've ever come across and my youngest is still of party age.

However, I do think it's relatively simple and in your shoes and I wanted my child to attend the party, I'd send £5. I wouldn't need to know the reason for this, it's none of my business - they could have had an unexpected bill, they might have has lots of children not turn up to previous parties but, at the end of the day, not my business.

If I was so hell bent on not paying £5, I'd decline the invite.

Exactly … just stick some pizzas from the supermarket in the oven with a couple of sausage rolls … kids don’t care anyway!

If you go you normalise this behaviour.

Also deposit indicates there will be a follow up bill.....

Well, you've not lived! 😂 The year I took VR from teaching, I did a whole class party in a village hall with a Dominoes delivery. I was a Food/Textiles teacher so we did Easter crafts (birthday was in April,) some games and then my then DH popped out to Dominoes and picked up pizzas for everyone. Worked out much cheaper than the soft play/pizza express parties we'd usually had.

In answer to your question OP, no, it's not normal and actually quite cheeky. It's a bit like those people who charge you for going to their (usually quite tacky) wedding. I'd politely decline on this one.

Yes but you can get pizza a lot cheaper than a papa johns delivery without having to then charge people.

But this isn’t for the party, it’s for a food delivery which is unnecessary anyway.

Maybe it's to ensure people turn up if they say they will, or don't forget to rsvp but turn up anyway/bring siblings and expect them to be fed? It's very odd though and not something I've seen before.

But the money isn’t towards the party, the child is having a party, this is towards an unnecessary food delivery.

Wow there are a lot of mean people on here. It's five pounds. Maybe this is the only way she can afford to give her kid a party. Don't text her and tell her you're not going because of the fiver as some have suggested that is awful

Then don’t get papa johns 🙄🤣

Then don’t get them papa johns … ridiculous

Definitely not normal. In the past when hosting I've had a mum offer to bring some food for her daughter as she had a dairy allergy, but apart from that I wouldn't dream of asking for a donation.

I've never heard of this and if you can't afford food you don't have a party.
Mind you, I was invited to a friend's house for afternoon tea and when we'd finished she asked me and the other guests to pay for our food. I thought she was joking at first.

Absolutely not the norm but will become it if people just pay it instead of saying no.

I've never heard of this and if you can't afford food you don't have a party.
Mind you, I was invited to a friend's house for afternoon tea and when we'd finished she asked me and the other guests to pay for our food. I thought she was joking at first.