To be annoyed that people keep saying how tall DD is?

[Spookygoose]

My DD is 5 next month and fairly tall for her age. I measured her the other day and checked on the WHO chart cos the amount of people who keep commenting on how tall she was I thought she must be off the chart! She’s 112cm & 91st percentile..so not quite. But I’ve started to get annoyed by people (shop assistants, friends, family, teachers) who keep saying “ooh you’re very tall”, “I can’t believe you’re 4, you’re so tall!” Etc. Maybe it’s cos she’s nearly 5 so very tall for a 4 yo but I wish people would keep comments on her appearance to themselves. She doesn’t understand that it’s supposed to be a compliment, all she hears is “you’re different” and that’s the last thing a child wants to be. People don’t say “ooh you’re very short”!

Mine has always been 99th percentile, she’s delighted with the tall comments, we always told her she’s big and strong. I wouldn’t overthink it, it’s just people making conversation, just turn it into a positive.

They do (at least with little kids). My 4 year old is also tall and people love to comment on it. My best friends lo is the same age and people are forever commenting on how tiny he is 🤷‍♀️. When they are together we inevitably get the "How can they be the same age?!" comments.

We should only ever engage in conversation if absolutely strictly necessary. There’s nothing innocuous or inoffensive that can’t be twisted to be so if desired. God forbid anyone should try to make conversation or appear friendly.

Mine is tall too, loads of comments, it doesn’t bother me or her I don’t think.

My dd has always been short for her age and she is also quite underweight. People have always commented on how short she is. They still do. In front of her. To her face. And they certainly don't mean it as a compliment. I dont think they mean it maliciously either. They are just surprised at how short she is. But yeah it sucks and she hates it. I wish they would realise how rude and hurtful it is and just stop. Kids have feelings.

I was a child on the 3rd centile, and believe me, everyone remarked.

I’m now in possession of a very tall DS and everyone remarks upon him. We just let it slide by. You could come back with a ‘yes, and she’s so into loom bands (or whatever) at the moment!’

People like to state the obvious as they haven’t got anything better to say, they’re just making conversation

The Netherlands have the tallest people in the world. So "they" say.

We have women of 6 feet tall. And guys about 5'6''.

Dinka tribe in Africa are even taller..

It's all relative.

Don't make her feel inadequate.

Mine were both 98th centile until they hit puberty and slowed down a bit. I don't think they minded the 'gosh aren't you tall' comments, but it was annoying sometimes when people expected them to behave in line with their size not their age or when they looked too big for age-related discounts.

The worst phase was when they looked way too old be using pushchairs, but still needed them when we were out all day. We got a lot of looks and tuts and the occasional comment.

Anyway, it all passes, and they are now adults, slightly taller than average but not spectacularly so. Looking older than their age had its advantages in their teens when it came to cinemas and so on.

My dd is also 5 next month and 113 cm. We do get the comments about her being tall but it doesn’t really bother me. People just making conversation I think. There were tons of tall kids about

People absolutely do say ‘ooh you’re very short’. And it carries on into adulthood.

You need to turn it into a good thing for your daughter so when she hears it she's proud. Boost her self confidence

My twin DC have always been tall for their age and it's always been remarked upon.
It's never bothered me.

I have a very tall child, he’s 7 and when we last measured he was 1m 45cm, but that was quite a while ago now. I swear he’ll be taller than me by the time he leaves primary school - if not before. People comment on his height all the time, and it really doesn’t bother me at all. He isn’t bothered either though - my default response is ‘yes he’s just like his daddy’ (because I’m not all that tall) if he was self conscious about his height I would probably have a problem with it though. We’re just teaching him that he’s a tall and strong boy and that he’s going to be a tall and strong grown up one day just like his daddy.

Honestly, they're just making conversation.

Something that's admittedly going out of fashion since the invention of smart phones.

But none the less, not worth spending your energy getting irritated by.

Yes I’d be annoyed and have been in a similar position.

So annoying when people think they can just say their thoughts out loud to / about kids.

They wouldn’t say to a tall adult ‘you’re tall’ or to a black person ‘you're dark’.

Totally out of order imo.

They absolutely do say you're very short!
That or you're very small for your age!
Had it all my life from a child to now

Not unique to tall people!

Have one short dc and one tall. The short one constantly gets "ooh you're tiny" or assumption they are two years younger.

What evidence are you basing "people don't say ooh you're very short" on given you don't HAVE a short child so obviously wouldn't expect to hear that?

(They do!)

Hopefully these many responses will show OP that it's just the same for short people and children!!

People do indeed mention how short children are, “ooh, so little” “oh how cute” “oh she’s tiny”

Folk just say anything to make conversation.

My child is disabled, she’s been “different” all her life. She hasn’t exploded yet, your 4 year old will be fine. She will hear it however you frame it.

Yep (although DD 16 had a growth spurt at 15 to end up 5ft3) her brother is 5ft10 at just turned 13 and have been mistaken for twins for quite awhile.
the worst for her was when we went to the football a couple of years ago so DS was 10 and she was 14 and the age for needing to be searched was 13 - she walked through and DS was stopped!

It’s funny DD good friend (female) is 6ft3 and DS good friend is 4ft9 so a foot different for both.

although for DD both are adult height!

I was always told I was tall as a child and tbh I always felt monstrous because of it. The women in my family are quite small with little feet and by the time I was 10 I was taller than them with bigger feet. I still remember my uncle saying woah look at the whopper feet on you! As an adult I am only 5'6" and really like my height but as a 5'6" 11 yr old surround by small women I felt differently. I still feel self conscious about my 'whopper feet' sometimes though!

I would just say try and reinforce to your child that tall is not a bad thing because you can't stop the comments but hopefully you can influence how they make her feel about herself.

Dd was always tall for her age now she 19 shes 5ft9. She used to get lots of comments and she didn't like it she knew she was taller than most of the children in her year except one boy 6ft3 now. She didn't need it pointing she could see herself she was taller.

Now the one that pissed me of the most was a gp he said to my ds age 3 that he had a large head. He does have a large head but theres no need to tell a child that.

Your DD will feel awkward about her height depending on your reaction to the comments. So if you beam and exclaim yes isn't she lovely and tall, she will grow up seeing it as a strength. If you get annoyed and say she's 'only on the 91st percentile' (which is actually very tall in comparison to other girls her age), she will pick up on your replies and believe being tall is a negative trait.