To be annoyed that people keep saying how tall DD is?

[Spookygoose]

My DD is 5 next month and fairly tall for her age. I measured her the other day and checked on the WHO chart cos the amount of people who keep commenting on how tall she was I thought she must be off the chart! She’s 112cm & 91st percentile..so not quite. But I’ve started to get annoyed by people (shop assistants, friends, family, teachers) who keep saying “ooh you’re very tall”, “I can’t believe you’re 4, you’re so tall!” Etc. Maybe it’s cos she’s nearly 5 so very tall for a 4 yo but I wish people would keep comments on her appearance to themselves. She doesn’t understand that it’s supposed to be a compliment, all she hears is “you’re different” and that’s the last thing a child wants to be. People don’t say “ooh you’re very short”!

People do tell tall people that they're tall. I'm tall so not sure if shorter adults get the same.

People regularly point out that I'm short. Funnily, I had noticed over the past 40+ years. Especially when I need to climb shelves in the supermarket each week.

I'm not even particularly short, just averagely below average.

It's a bit tedious, but I'd rather live in a world where people communicate even if it's with brain-fart daft comments than people feeling too stiffled to talk to each other and we all bumble around in bubbles of silence in case we offend each other.

I've had this since birth with both mine. My 2.5yo (left) is just over 99th centile. My 6 month old sitting beside him (right), is at an estimate from his charts, 160/180th centile for height and weight. He doesn't even plot anymore. Just make it a positive 🥰 he's my little gladiator. You should teach her to embrace her differences, rather than shudder at the thought of being different. My younger DSIS is a lot taller than me and loves it x

I never realised being tall was a bad thing. I’m tall and so is my nearly 5 y/o but take it as a compliment when people remark on it. It’s beyond our control, rather than seeing her as a prize marrow we cultivated that way.

Gosh what a random thing to get annoyed about. She's 5. There will be loads of other things that will annoy you before she's 18. Let this go !

All the people saying YABU, just listen to Richard Osman on the subject of constant comments about his height. Just STFU.

You as her parent need to make her understand it’s not a bad comment and people aren’t pointing out how different she is. You can’t control people’s mouths but you can give positive words to your daughter

People don’t say “ooh you’re very short”!

Rubbish!

1 always say nobody says I wish I was smaller.
My kids are tall 6’5” (went off school during Covid at 5’5” went back 6 month later at 6’1”) & 6’3”.
They always get comments. I’m also tall for a woman 5’11”.

Why would positive comments upset you? It’s like saying “I like your hair or that’s a nice dress.” Teach your child to be graceful, smile and say thank you. That’s all.

This
Turn what you see as a negative into a positive.

You should both probably get use to it. I'm late 40's and still told I'm quite tall for a woman. I'm not even that tall, today's youth are much taller than my generation was.

People still say it to DS and he’s 21!! He is bloody tall though - he towers over all the family, even dh who is 6ft himself.

your DD may be tall now but kids do catch up, slow down esp if she starts her periods young. Not as much growth after that. A friend of mine said she was the tallest in primary, but started early and is on the short side herself.

I would just say yo her that people come in all different shapes and sizes and people don’t mean anything bad, it’s just something to say/focus on.

I have an 8 year old boy who isn’t much taller than your daughter (actually he might be the same size) and believe me, people comment all the time about how short he is.

Actually is there a size short or tall skinny or fat people don’t comment ob

I'm 5ft and people comment on my height quite regularly, as though I haven't noticed I'm short and no one has ever mentioned it to me before ...

My response in your situation would probably be along the lines of "thank you for telling us", but with a wry smile. Generally people are just looking for something to say and commenting on height seems to be the easy/lazy option.

People definitely do comment on children being smaller. My son's always been 9th or 25th centile (between growth spurts) and people often say he's short for his age. It makes me feel guilty, like I'm not feeding him properly!

The reality is we both have shorter people in our families (both maternal grandmothers under 5 foot, my uncle is the same height as me at 5' 6), and he's on track to be exactly the same height as his dad at 5' 8.

Yes people do point out if you are short and even in adulthood! I am short, so it is not surprising my daughter is too. She also gets it pointed out a lot or people think she is incapable of things as they assume she is younger than she is (she is in year 5 but quite a few year 2 students are taller than her!).

My kids are on the smaller side, quite tiny as babies and toddlers although they don’t stick out among their peers now at school age. I have noticed that some parents of tall children, not all, but some, went on and on about how tall their kids were, particularly around the ages of 2 to 4. Clearly delighted by their kids being tall, so I wonder if that creates the impression for others that it’s a nice thing to comment on?

The being proud of being tall thing is interesting and I’ve seen that kind of clumsily taken on by children with my kids taller friends sometimes pointing out how much taller they are, that my kids feet are tiny etc. Which my kids haven’t enjoyed!

So yes I can see how the constant comments are annoying but they surely are intended to be hurtful. But I can also see how all the boosting, encouraging kids to be proud of being tall etc can end up going a bit far.

I was a tall child and people always commented on it. I loved it…..it was my superpower! Eventually, everyone else caught up and I was gutted. Let your DD have her moment.

It’s great to be tall!

Embrace it OP! If you respond positively to these comments you will help your DD see her height as a positive thing.

My DD is 6 foot and likes being tall.

This.
OP be a parent and teach her how to deal with the comments and turn them into positives. Teach her how to be resilient when the world doesn’t also work the way you want it to.
Learn some resilence yourself.

I think people comment on anything outside "average" parameters. If someone has ginger hair, or very curly hair, it might be mentioned, frequently.

As someone significantly shorter than average, I can reassure you we also get lots of comments.
Im in my 40s and they still happens

I dont think my kids had a single friend who didnt delight in telling me they/their younger siblings was taller than me, when they were between the ages of 8 and 11!

112cm!

Wow!

I can't believe she's so tall!

And for her age as well!

She'll be a model when she's older!

It’s just something to say. My son is 116cm at not quite 4, so we get it too. He also had super blond curly hair until he was 2.5 ish so that was always commented on until then. Also, yes, people do say ‘ooh aren’t you short’ in a way, I’ve a friend who’s son is diddy and he gets ‘oh aren’t you so tiny etc’ often. Don’t make your daughter think tall = negative! Just smile and nod and don’t give it another thought.