To be annoyed that people keep saying how tall DD is?

[Spookygoose]

My DD is 5 next month and fairly tall for her age. I measured her the other day and checked on the WHO chart cos the amount of people who keep commenting on how tall she was I thought she must be off the chart! She’s 112cm & 91st percentile..so not quite. But I’ve started to get annoyed by people (shop assistants, friends, family, teachers) who keep saying “ooh you’re very tall”, “I can’t believe you’re 4, you’re so tall!” Etc. Maybe it’s cos she’s nearly 5 so very tall for a 4 yo but I wish people would keep comments on her appearance to themselves. She doesn’t understand that it’s supposed to be a compliment, all she hears is “you’re different” and that’s the last thing a child wants to be. People don’t say “ooh you’re very short”!

My DD turned 5 a fortnight ago and is 115cm. She gets comments a lot as well but enjoys being taller than everyone else. I think she enjoys being one of the eldest and tallest - she's competitive though.

I’ve got an extremely tall 18 yo DS at 6’9 (yep, I know 😁). He’s always been tall and loves it and the 99% positive attention he gets for it. Your DD might hit pubery early and stop growing at an average height, or she could grow to 5’9 or so. If she is tall (and 5’9 is only averagely so) people might comment just because she is. Teach her to be proud of it and that it makes her special, not something to be ashamed of. For years if anyone says my son is tall which new people mostly do, him/we laugh and say yep I’m/he’s big and that’s it. Move on. If she’s tall she will be fine if you help her believe it is.

I get the opposite. Mine is on the 2nd percentile and I’m told by everyone how small she is. It triggers a bit of worry sometimes because she is small. However, I know people just mean it as a compliment as she’s very cute and tiny.

I also have a son on the opposite scale (different dad) and I’ve always been very chuffed when people talk about how tall he is. To me it was always a good sign, a sign he is thriving, I suppose.

DD was 98th centipede as a child and is now 5’ 10”. I’m only 5’ 4” so I remark on it often enough (and always have done), let alone other people! She loves being tall.

Everyone gets judged. I don’t know about centiles but I was a tiny child and am 4’ 11” as an adult. No new acquaintance has ever let it go unremarked. As a kid other kids were always grabbing me and picking me up.

Just stay positive (being tall is generally a good thing, socially) and your DD will work out how to let it wash over her.

DD1 was always off the chart. Now 6'. Overtook me at age 11 and I'm tall too. Yeah she got a lot of tall comments. When she was 3, people used to ask her if she was having the day off school. Indeed when we went to the nativity at the local primary, DC1 was actually taller than all the reception kids, even though she was nearly 2 years younger than some of them.

My DD had this from 4 to about 12 yrs old comments on her height and size of her feet

Yes they do.
My daughter was tiny for her age, when she started nursery age 3, she was still wearing age 9-12 month baby clothes, and her feet were too small for any of the school shows
ranges. Add that to her being an August baby so really young in her class (which was weirdly very heavy on kids born in sept-January and then no one at all in March-May!) and so she stood out even more. And people brought it up all the time. ‘Oh she’s so little’ ‘aww look at her!’ It’s just small
talk.

People say it to my little boy, he's 5, 102cm and sits in a wheelchair because he can't stand so I have no idea how they come to the conclusion that he's tall because he's not.

People have been saying “ooh you’re very short” to me my entire life. I’m now 31 and 4’11”

I’m sure being tall has its drawbacks but height related difficulties are not exclusive to tall people

Sorry but 😆 at small talk

I think this is a little unfair.
It's really only since the 1960s that it's become socially acceptable to comment on someone's appearance like this.
The old social mores suited some people better. The new ones suit others. Objectively, which are better? I don't think the question makes sense. It is what it is.

DD is 10 and about 5ft 3 currently. Her entire life has been one long round of “wow, she’s tall isn’t she?” Followed by a quick glance at me and “but you’re very tall too aren’t you?”
Honestly it’s water off a duck’s back for both of us but she did go through a phase when she was 6ish where she hated being different so I do sympathise.
These days she just says ‘yes’ in a rather deadpan way and the conversation moves on quite quickly!

Dd gets told she's small all the time, she's not much taller than your child but is a couple of years older. People just comment on children's height, I don't think there's any need to be overly sensitive about it.

People do comment on kids being short. Mine aren’t but I’ve heard people say it plenty of times (the word tiny is popular) and which child wants to be compared to younger kids? Looking older than your age is usually a compliment when you’re young.

Be careful not to let your dd know how you feel because if you’re negative or defensive then she’ll learn not to be happy. If it’s strangers then is it a comment that you need to respond to? Maybe she’s tall like her dad or you? Turn it into a source of pride before she’s old enough to have the internet try and being her looks down.

Why does it matter?
my children were all taller than other children their own age but haven’t grown into overly large ogres or anything. They are just normal and beautiful 😁

I think people say this as some sort of compliment. If it carries on she gets older you may have to equip her with a way of responding so she feels comfortable in herself. DS is 6'6" at 17 and gets small children pointing at him in the street. He hates it but we've discussed that he needs to own it as it's not something he can hide!

I can understand that it's annoying to hear the same comment over and over, but you are making a bigger deal of it than it is.

If your daughter really is tall, she will notice it soon enough at school.

Ignoring physical differences isn't going to make them disappear, but placing a positive or negative value against it is way more likely to affect children (e.g. you said tall is a "compliment", so it's positive and being short is a negative?).

Maybe getting a book that explains about difference in a more neutral way would help her.

It drives me insane when people comment about height. I have always found it annoying. (Ever since my children were young). I have male teens . One is 19 is 6 foot 2 and has stopped growing. The other is 17 and at least 6 foot 6 and will be taller I suspect. It is already awkward for him being this tall. The bed is too short, he has to duck his head to avoid banging it etc. I am 5 foot 9 so have always towered above my friends which I hate!

I totally agree OP, my daughter hit puberty early and was 5 8 at 11, literally the tallest in her class and super self conscious about it. It was the first thing people would go on about (this went beyond a polite mention) and it got to the point where if we were meeting people I’d need to text them before hand and ask them not to comment on it.

A teaching moment - tell her that being tall is great (taller people tend to be more successful on every metric) and that’s why people make comments. Build resilience.

I've had comments about how short I am my entire life, certainly as a child. It's only really stopped now I'm in my 30s and that's probably only because I interact with people less.

I was 6ft tall with size 9 feet by the time I started secondary school. As long as you're giving the right messages around body positivity, she will be fine. I've only realised at almost 40 and a lifetime of weight related issues, that I was never going to be the same size as my friends at school, because I had a totally different frame. My child is 6 years old and 145cm, literally off the charts tall, but is a boy so maybe somehow more socially acceptable. He is twice the height and weight of some of his peers. We focus on what his body can do, rathee than what it looks like. God knows how tall he's going to end up!

Fgs they are making an innocent comment. Lighten up.

That's terrible.

I was brought up that it's rude to talk about people's appearance other than complimenting clothes or hairstyle, and that includes children.

Nobody comments on my abnormally large ankles, and I don't approach bald men to tell them how shiny their head is! We all have thoughts about other people's bodies but unsolicited comments are not on.