Was the sonographer being a creep?

[Owlmoonstar]

I had an ultrasound scan today to investigate pelvic pain.

Firstly it was external, like a typical pregnancy scan.

And then I was asked if I would like an internal exam, which I agreed.

During the internal scan, the sonographer (a man) touched my bum cheeks in a bit of a weird way.

If you can imagine the way your hand would grip the device, he then released his index and little finger and was kinda jiggling the skin near my bum crack.

He also did an in and out motion with the device, as one would with a dildo.

I don't know if I'm overthinking everything. It felt off at the time. But obviously I was just all kinda tensed up, staring at the ceiling trying to wish the entire procedure was over. Same as when you have a smear test. It's just an uncomfortable, unpleasant situation in general.

I just wanted to get it all off my chest and have some feedback really.

Having a scan, in an intimate area feels generally vulnerable, so I'm not sure if I'm being silly.

You should have had a chaperone right beside you and the sonographer. I would request a follow up appointment to discuss what happened. Hopefully they’ll reassure you what happened was normal, if not normal this needs to be exposed. The sonographer should have explained exactly what they were doing throughout the procedure to leave no room for any doubt about what they were doing. Hope you’re ok x

I had something similar with an ECG 30 years ago, when it was a more elaborate procedure. I still regret that I failed to get it together to make a formal complaint. There's no excuse for his fingers wandering and him feeling you up like that. A chaperone wouldn't even have seen it if she'd been in with you, but if she was holding your hand and putting you at ease, you might have spoken out there and then.
Do make complaint, and emphasize that it must be formal.

Yes I had one , a lady did it and it felt weird , but didn't hurt.I suppose with my lower area covered they couldn't see to well up there.

And I hope you get the pain sorted.

I had this exam a few years ago.

I didn’t know it was going to be an internal exam. I said “oh no!” The female sonographer told me she does these all the time and it’s going to be fine.

She did not touch my ass cheeks. She was too busy staring at the screen, taking images and making small talk.

I very much got the impression this was just a job to her and she wanted it over as quickly as possible.

I think that only you can be the judge of what happened. I don’t want to pry and ask invasive questions.

I once got a foot massage from the anaesthesiologist’s assistant. I’ve had a lot of surgeries. Some scheduled and some were emergencies and I never received a foot massage from anyone at any other time. It was in a room next to the operating room that was for storage - not the usual bays that they take patients from.

I’m not going to lie I was into it. I already had some drugs in my system but not the full anaesthetic. I asked what he was doing and he said it was necessary- I said something along the lines “keep going - that’s really relaxing”.

The more I think about it it probably was a foot thing 🧐. But back then I had really pretty feet. I doubt I would get a foot massage now 🤣

Oh! I missed that part!!

Patients don’t get to decide to get an additional exam! It needs to be ordered by the doctor and medically necessary!!

What the hell??

They have to slide the device in, out and move it around to look at everytime. I had it for pelvic pain as well.
Can't I ask, would you feel this way if it was a woman? My friend actually had a male midwife. She wasn't bothered but a lot of our friends were saying they wouldn't feel comfortable with one. 🤷 Some people are just more comfortable with woman doing it.

The motion you describe is completely normal, but the fingers is not. You say it occurred at the same time as the probe being moved - are you sure it wasn’t the cable on the probe? It does pass between your legs and could feasibly make contact with you whilst changing the angle of the wand.

The not speaking or explaining to you is not great though and definitely worth feeding back on - I work in paeds not adults, but even with babies and toddlers we still tell them what we are doing during a procedure.

Obviously don’t want you to out yourself but it wasn’t a hospital in Nottinghamshire was it?
my DIL had a similar experience on Monday. Said it felt like his finger was rubbing ’things’ but she didn’t know if she was imagining it.

This is the leading question.
You should have been offered a chaperone.
If you weren't, you have cause to complain

For every transvaginal ultrasound they ask you to consent, it doesn't mean they are doing it unnecessarily, even when your doctor has ordered that one they have to double check during the scan. It's just informed consent, and they sometimes need to sign an online form on the computer and just out your signature there consenting. Again it's proper procedure to ask of you want it done at the time.

Oh just to add - it’s also very normal with a pelvic ultrasound to switch to transvaginal if they can’t get the image they need, but that a. Should have been explained to you in your letter before the appointment and also should have been consented in the appointment itself.

Hi
im a sonographer in an obstetric unit and do a lot of vaginal ultrasounds. I hope I make women feel at ease in such a vulnerable position and I do explain what I’m doing at every step and always say that they csnntell
me if they are uncomfortable, have pain or if they need me to stop. and also have a chat. But equally when I need to concentrate I do go silent. The probing in and out of the vagina with the probe is called the sliding sign and it’s to assess the mobility of the uterus. But obviously you’d think he’d tell you what he was doing and explain why. I always do.
As for touching you I can’t explain this really only maybe it was the way he was holding the probe-we do really probe at various angles but I can’t say I ever ended up touching someone’s anus. I grip the probe so my fingers are curled on the handle.
I do think that you should give feedback on how uncomfortable he made you feel and how the examination should have been explained to you.

I have had lots of internal scans on my ovaries, with two in the last week. (They have all been females doing the scans). I have NEVER EVER experienced fingers even touching let alone wondering, nor in and out motions with the probe. As others have said, they all communicate what they are doing and when moving from side to side. Occasionally they struggle to get a good angle and may apply some firm pressure downwards but this is always communicated. All the best with whatever you decide to do, and I’m sorry you experienced such poor care.

@nomas yep - it should be, it’s best practice and protects you both. It protects the sonographer from unfounded accusations as well as the patient. (This one from the OP seems well founded!)
It’s likely to be written into local policies and guidelines.

That’s because it’s not generally about attraction but power.

Please put in a complaint, if he’s not a creep he needs to know how to improve so he doesn’t upset any of the women he’s examining. If there’s more than one complaint his managers are alerted to a potentially bigger problem.

I’d focus on what you’ve written here and why it made you feel uncomfortable. You’re not accusing him but you are pointing out it seemed unnecessary or inappropriate.

I put in a complaint about a female mammogram examiner because she kept making personal comments about my breasts that I felt were very inappropriate. I did have to persist to not be brushed off in the first instance however then I got a meeting with the pals representative that I felt was worthwhile and I hope it will have stopped that examiner from being as casually personal and rude to other women.

You won’t be told if anyone else has complained, you won’t see the person you complained about, you won’t be told if they’ve carried out any sort of reprimand for inappropriate behaviour, but if it sounds unusual behaviour to them it will have raised a flag even if they don’t confirm to you it sounds a bit dodgy. And if you have to have another sonogram you’ll be able to request it not be done by him.

I hadnt thought about it like that, it makes more sense when you frame it that way, the first would be disturbing enough but that was is extremely so.

I've had a couple of internals and the in and out thing is normal.
I'll be honest, I think you're overthinking it - it hardly a sexy setting and the poor guy was just doing his job. I would imagine the silence was because he felt as awkward as you.
It sounds like the rest of his behaviour was appropriate - I would imagine it's very difficult to shove a probe shaped object up your chuff appropriately though, so he was almost definitely just doing his job and not being creepy.
It could look as if you're sexualising it rather than him.

What the FUCK?! Oh noes, won't someone think of the poor menz...! They just can't help themselves, see!

"It could look as if you're sexualising it rather than him."

"Sexualising" probable sexual assault...?! Talk about victim-blaming! Get outta here. 😡

"Yessir", indeed. Yes, sir. No, sir. Three bags full, sir!

That's not what I'm saying at all.
Let's just consider that he may have just been doing his job. As I and others have mentioned the in and out thing is completely normal.

Sexual assault is not OK. But then neither is accusing someone of it when they're innocent.

It's a difficult one, only the OP was there - but based on her description it sounds to me like it was innocent.

You've got to see it from both sides.

Just about everyone commenting on this thread, most of whom have had multiple TV ultrasounds, has stated that they have never been directly touched by the sonographer ONCE. I have had two, and no part of the sonographer's body made contact with mine on either occasion. You're deliberately overlooking this most crucial aspect.

Yes, only the OP was there, and she has described that she felt uncomfortable and that the whole thing felt off, and has described behaviour, in particular the buttock touching, that was objectively non-standard and inappropriate.

When a man unnecessarily touches a woman in a sexual/intimate area of her body, and she feels uncomfortable about it, that is absolutely sexual assault.

There is no "both sides" here. That's the same bullshit patriarchy shills come out with in cases of domestic violence against women.

Even if he was just doing his job, by not talking to the OP and explaining what he was doing as he went along, and checking in with her that she felt okay, he wasn't doing his job very well.

So you want to be judge jury and executioner, that's fine. I'm just pointing out that you may be wrong. Obviously not something you're used to hearing.

This is reason enough for "feedback" along with raising your concerns. You never know, there may be just 1 other (of many) that was able to speak up and they may have trusted the sonigraoher if he defended himself-so you speaking up about BOTH certainly wouldn't do any harm. You can also request not to have him in any future appts too. Ive also had many scans due to endo/adenomyosis and have kind of gotten used to the "probing" from lots of different sonographers because they are looking for a "problem area" ive not had one mention "now I am going to move the probe in/out" etc, but they have always been professional and I felt at ease (as much as you can be in that position!)
If his fingers touched your rectum, then you absolutely have to raise it asap because that is too far in. Saying that though, I do recall the hand that was holding the probe being pretty close to that area when she was really moving it about for a better picture.
Go ahead and tell them, it would also make you feel better rather than keeping it to yourself. I hope youre OK 💗