AIBU to try to steer my DS into a well paid career against his dreams

[Putneydad7]

My wife and I both came from humble backgrounds but have done well in our careers and earned good money. My DS is very academic, great A levels, just started his second year at a good Uni.
We are both pushing him to apply for internships in banks/consultancies/law firms next summer so that his job opportunities will be maximised after Uni.
HOWEVER
He really loves theatre, acting and directing. He wants to spend next summer taking a production to the fringe with some friends, sofa surfing and having a laugh. He also is thinking about theatre directing as a potential career path.

I feel so evil that I am steering him away from that as I know it is a path strewn with poverty and failure, sure some succeed, a few have a great career, but most give it up after 5-10 years and I guess find an alternative career.
His asset is his brain and I'm trying to get him to maximise his income over perhaps his happiness, oh I'm so dilemma'd (I know, made up term).
What do you think, AIBU, should I back off and let him make his own way/mistakes or otherwise?

Loved that film "oh captain my captain"

I think you need an even firmer head shake. It's not about you 'letting him' and especially not about letting him with conditions about how hard he works. Nor should it ever be about 'making him' work in a pub. He's an adult now, making adult decisions about what his working life is hopefully going to look like.
Obviously you have agency too in how you actively support those choices, especially financially, but if you try to treat him like a child when it comes to managing his life then you're never going to have a decent adult to adult relationship with him.

I’m in my 40s now in a corporate banking job that sucks every milligram of joy and clashes with my values on a daily basis.

I was desperate to pursue theatre as a teen and was blocked by my parents as it wouldn’t make me a decent living. I’ve got past it mostly as the money I earn has allowed me to indulge another dream that wouldn’t have been possible on a lower income but you can bet your arse I won’t be telling my DD what she can and can’t do for a career.

Nobody gets to old age and wishes they went into consultancy or banking.

Help him find a middle ground. Some people will never be happy unless they are in the arts, some people like arts but will be happy either way. He may do a more traditional uni and then go for the arts, etc. As long as he is emotionally stable, he will be able to survive anywhere.

So why do you want this life for your son?

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

If you push him down that route and he goes then I imagine you will end up with a very unhappy child. Doing the long hours those job require when you hate it is even worse.
If as you say people who go down the path he wants to change careers after 10 years then I see no problem. If he decides at 30 he wants to retrain then it isn't too late. Let him choose his path and support him.

I myself wouldn't support such a career in the arts. But there are many other things outside banking/finance/consulting

I wouldn’t want my son going into theatre. He is likely to end up at worst broke and at best a drama teacher. Which is fine if that’s all he can be but you said he is really bright and academic he could do so much more. people will hate what I have said but I don’t care it’s the internet and you can be anonymous and honest!

That is an awful thought!

My daughter did MT for a few years. Left London in 2021 after only a few small roles. She started a law degree in 2020 aged 27 and now is a newly qualified solicitor in a very big law firm. She feels life was put on hold a lot during COVID but she's 32 now and back on track. I just insisted she got her highers and advanced highers so she could change careers.
I don't regret letting her do what she did.

We made him work in a pub all this last summer while his mates went off and did route 66
Lawks a mercy! ... does he get to make any decisions about his own life!?
He is not burning his bridges .... he just wants to spend one summer doing something creative instead of filling his head with facts. It will not blight his career prospects for the rest of his life! Cut thus lad a bit of slack ....

I don't hate what you say, I just find it confusing to hear that I don't exist! And that none of the hundreds of people I've worked with in my career exist! Lots of people can't make a successful career in the arts or media industries but lots can and do and aren't broke or struggling.

@mischance They didn’t really make that decision for him though, all they did was decide not to fund a big holiday. So he decided to get a summer job instead.

He could’ve gone on the holiday if he’d found a way to fund it. 🤷

@Putneydad7 thats exactly it. DH and I both had a blast in the late 90’s/early 2000’s, but in those days, it was more about the relationships you had with clients. You could take them for lunches, corporate rugby/tennis etc you’d speak to them on the phone to keep them up to date with what was going on. The trading floor was a fun, noisy, vibrant place. These days business is awarded on who built the best spreadsheet and who has the shiniest pitch deck. And the floor is deathly quiet because there are no sales people any more, it’s just quants building spreadsheets capable of launching a rocket into space.

@Putneydad7I am sure you remember how the dead poets society story goes….. sadly I know of young people
(university students) who take that route too.

Very true. We are heading into an era of oversupply of junior people in all the trades OP wants their son to do. Those jobs are not a good prospect for a young person.

It is one summer.
Leave him to do his thing
Shows initiative and drive
Great things to talk about in a grad scheme interview

This.

Surely as a parent you want your kids to like earn well and have a nice quality of life

It is his life and his choice. Stop interfering.

If your son is mainly a creative individual he would be miserable and probably fail in the careers you are trying to push him into.