To not clean up DH’s sick

[Dollyflip]

DH went out for ‘a few drinks’ last night and rolled in at 1.15am. Our bedroom is downstairs and it’s all open plan downstairs. 11DD slept with me as we are up early for football. DD woke as dog was barking when he got back. Anyway he threw up all over himself on the couch it’s EVERYWHERE. DD was scared and upset as she could hear him just being sick. I went out saying ‘what the heck!!’ And left him to deal with it but he hasn’t. And he just sat saying to me stop being a fuckin prick and sorry. Now he’s fast asleep upstairs with all the sick left everywhere and I have to get up with my DD for football. Should I have cleaned it all up?? Or am I right leaving him to deal with it? I’m going upto him now and telling him he needs to sort it out. I’m so repulsed by him. We are going on holiday weds too but the way I feel now I hate his guts. He hasn’t been sick like this for a long time but has had incidents when hes been drunk which has lead to us nearly splitting up numerous times. I feel to blame as if I had split last time this wouldn’t of happened and my DD wouldn’t be upset!

This.

I didn't leave my DP because he was sick after drinking.

I left him because he was sick in our bed after drinking.

If you can't get to the loo or a sink or a bowl as a result of drinking so much you're going to be sick, you're drinking too much.

@DollyflipPlease read back your replies on here. You are saying you are repulsed by him, he gives you the ick, it’s not the first time it has happened etc… and yet you’re planning on going away with him next week? Your bar needs to be set A LOT higher - would you be happy with your daughter marrying someone like this? Vomiting all over the walls and kids homework? Calling her a prick?
No. No you wouldn’t. So do better and lead by example.
If you can leave then do and if you can’t, tell him to today.

Why was he fasting ?

My friend got so fed up of her husband coming home and falling over and sleeping ( passed out on the floor,) that when he did it again she gave him a good kicking ( I'm not condoning violence ) but when he came around assumed he'd been attacked whilst out and having no memory of it , swore off over drinking ever again !

@Dollyflip Did you type "DH" instead of "DS" by mistake? Throwing up over yourself after a few beers sounds like a 16 year old boy.

You're currently choosing to stay with an abusive alcoholic who disgusts and repulses you.

Your children can't make that choice, though.

This is what every day this continues does to them
https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/effects-on-children-of-alcoholic-parents

The drinking to excess was definitely a choice, as was not getting himself a bucket or going to the toilet when he felt so sick.

He sounds like a total prick in other ways as well, so doesn't deserve anyone's sympathy.

You said that you’d given him a last chance, so are you going to finally leave him this time? Speak to a solicitor tomorrow and then tell your scumbag husband that the holiday is cancelled and you’re filing for divorce. He’s an abusive drunk who has no respect for you, your children or your home.

What the hell??? Why would he even be expecting you to clean up his horrendous mess to your shared space? And why does he get to lie in when u have a kid? I’d be banging a pot and pan right next to his head to wake him up and making it very clear to him that he needs to sort this mess out and that if he ever does this again he needs to sleep outside!!! You sound very very forgiving. It’s time to not be! Poor you OP.

Invite a mate round to witness, just to have another adults testimony. Take photo evidence, you'll be entitled to legal aid further down the line as its classed as abuse,

Wish I'd known this, 6 years...6 year's ago left my alcoholic dh, same issues. My kids now have trauma counselling witnessing their dad puking and drunk.

Don't hang around, set your bar higher. Call womens aid and your solicitor tomorrow.

I agree, but she's got to live in the house!🤢

For a thorough clean, a rug doctor - it comes with handtool for upholstery - that you hire from the supermarket can suck out hidden filth from even clean appearing things. Buy the rug doctor branded cleaner - the superstrength one. I think the rug doctor might be one of the few things that will get rid of the smell and suck out the remnants of the vomit. One of those specialist pet accident sprays which are meant to neutralise the smell of pet accidents might also help. Or can you get specialist cleaners in? Are you going to have to write a note about a "food poisoning" accident for DD about her homework? Or can it be scanned?

I’d have cleaned it up because it’s disgusting and absolutely stinking. Your couch may be ruined so I’d def have wanted to get it out asap. He wld be in the dog house though!

Of course he should have cleaned it up but if he wasn't able, there's no fucking way I would have left that until the morning. The smell of it, good lord.

Rank.

Couch is likely for the bin now.

@LittleTroubleGirl Start your own thread please, don't jump on someone else's.

I'm afraid he thinks he owns you because he's older and earns 10x your salary. It's not just an alcohol problem he's got, it's a respect problem.

He probably gets paid 10x the OP's salary rather than earns it. He's an absolute horror.

There is a strong pattern here and it indicates an alcohol addiction with related domestic abuse. He needs to get help and stop or he has to leave the family home as it is damaging you and your child (you leave temporarily if that is safest). It will also damage his health severely-mouth or bowel cancer, liver disease etc etc and you will be clearing that mess as well.