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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please answer this question firstly with a number. What proportion of men - who had they been born into wealth and status - would have sex with a 17 year old attractive girl whom they’d never met before?

139 replies

Zippyzoppy · 18/10/2025 23:37

I don’t know the answer, but I’m upset to say that I’d put the number somewhere in the 30-40% range.

OP posts:
Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:25

How can we guess that? How have these men met the girl? Has she consented to sex?

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:26

AmberSpy · 19/10/2025 19:31

I will probably sound like a nasty cynic here but I think the number of men who would commit statutory rape if they were absolutely sure they'd get away with it and the opportunity presented itself is far, far higher than most of us are able to countenance.

What do you mean by statutory rape?

PeonyPatch · 19/10/2025 20:27

I wouldn’t put it at 90% - I think that’s ridiculous. I think it would be high, but not that high. Not all men are attracted to and would have sex with a minor. Also there’s a distinction to be made between finding them attractive and actually following through with having sex with them.

I would say between 40-60%

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 20:28

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:26

What do you mean by statutory rape?

It's an American term for underage sex. It's not the legal term in England. I think it's something like "sexual activity with a child"

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:29

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 20:28

It's an American term for underage sex. It's not the legal term in England. I think it's something like "sexual activity with a child"

Thank you. Confusing in this context because a 17 year old in the UK is legally able to consent to sex.

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 20:35

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:29

Thank you. Confusing in this context because a 17 year old in the UK is legally able to consent to sex.

I think she may have been old enough in the state of the US she was in too. The issue is that she was trafficked and hence couldn't consent.

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:40

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 20:35

I think she may have been old enough in the state of the US she was in too. The issue is that she was trafficked and hence couldn't consent.

No she couldn’t consent if she was trafficked. Her age isn’t the issue in that case.

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 20:46

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:40

No she couldn’t consent if she was trafficked. Her age isn’t the issue in that case.

I think if she were in England then the offence could be paying for the sexual services of a prostitute who has been subjected to force or deception, but as PA presumably didn't pay I don't know if he could be charged, although Epstein certainly could be charged with trafficking for sexual exploitation

Notmymarmosets · 19/10/2025 20:47

If they were single, straight and thought the girl wanted to have sex with them, almost all of them I would think.

LoveSandbanks · 19/10/2025 20:48

I think that those born into wealth and status firmly believe that they are entitled to the bodies of their subjects/those lesser than them. They got to uber prestigious schools where its drummed into them that they are better than others and that they are owed the fruits of the labour of others (along with their bodies if they see fit)

It would surprise me if that someone even believes that he has done anything wrong. I imagine that he thinks its all of a load of fuss about nothing and the serfs are utterly ridiculous, and ignorant of what he deserves.

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 20:52

LoveSandbanks · 19/10/2025 20:48

I think that those born into wealth and status firmly believe that they are entitled to the bodies of their subjects/those lesser than them. They got to uber prestigious schools where its drummed into them that they are better than others and that they are owed the fruits of the labour of others (along with their bodies if they see fit)

It would surprise me if that someone even believes that he has done anything wrong. I imagine that he thinks its all of a load of fuss about nothing and the serfs are utterly ridiculous, and ignorant of what he deserves.

I work in a male environment and from what I hear that is the opinion of a lot of men who aren't wealthy and privileged as well. If she were 12 they would condemn it, but at 17 it's not seen as controversial.

AmberSpy · 19/10/2025 21:08

Irenesortof · 19/10/2025 20:26

What do you mean by statutory rape?

Statutory rape is when someone aged 18 or over engages in sexual activity with someone below the age of consent (so 16 in the UK). The key point is that the age of the victim negates any notion of consent - so a 13 year old CANNOT consent to sex with a 19 year old for example, even if they appear willing.

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 21:15

AmberSpy · 19/10/2025 21:08

Statutory rape is when someone aged 18 or over engages in sexual activity with someone below the age of consent (so 16 in the UK). The key point is that the age of the victim negates any notion of consent - so a 13 year old CANNOT consent to sex with a 19 year old for example, even if they appear willing.

Statutory rape isn't the legal term used in England. In English law there is also a distinction drawn if the victim is under or over 13 - with the younger age group attracting much tougher penalties for the offender.

It's quite complicated. If the victim is 13 or over, the suspect can offer the defence that he reasonably believed the victim was 16+. This is not a defence available if the victim is under 13 and I think the age of the suspect is also a factor when using this defence.

OneWarmHazelQuail · 19/10/2025 23:37

Zippyzoppy · 18/10/2025 23:37

I don’t know the answer, but I’m upset to say that I’d put the number somewhere in the 30-40% range.

Zippyzoppy, is your real name Andrew by any chance? 😂

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