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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Viewer stole from my house?

607 replies

Calcaata · 18/10/2025 20:29

I have a Diptique candle, 3 wick and cost £180. I’ve had two house viewings today, not done by myself but by the estate agent. I’ve come home and it’s missing.

Aibu to expect the estate agent to reimburse me?? I won’t be able to contact them now until Monday.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Pilfer · 19/10/2025 17:53

CoffeeCantata · 19/10/2025 16:25

Just catching up!

To be clear: I feel sorry for OP having property stolen. That is appalling in the context and I’m not minimising what is a crime and an unsettling one too, as well as a horrible breach of trust and professionalism where the agents are concerned.

But OP - you were daft to tell us it was a Diptyque candle costing £180! OMG - have you any clue how that’s going to come over to people on here who would spend only half that on a weekly shop, or indeed less? It’s really tone-deaf and for that, I think you need to take the teasing on the chin.

£180 candles….you must be either loaded or very gullible, or both!🤣

It’s really interesting that you seem to have no idea how what you’re saying is sounding.

Cherrysoup · 19/10/2025 18:05

Nearly50omg · 19/10/2025 17:43

Get indoor security cameras - the ring one for £20 I had in my bedroom when I was selling my house and it was funny watching back some of the viewings once people realised there was a camera in there - they became a lot less interested in my drawers and contents of bedroom funnily enough! Since being burgled from cleaners etc and also previous house sales I wasn’t having a repeat performance

Omg, nowhere is sacred! I might invest in cameras, although I think we're doing viewings ourselves, need every penny for the next place, hopefully the forever home. I do have a camera looking outside, could definitely bring it upstairs.

DBD1975 · 19/10/2025 18:12

Growlybear83 · 19/10/2025 17:41

I’m interested in how your estate agent reacted to you being present for viewings. Having read this thread, it’s confirmed my worries about leaving my house in the hands of an agent and going out if we put it on the market. Did you accompany viewers round the house?

No I didn't accompany the Estate agent, they showed the viewer around but I was present throughout the viewing and the Estate agent introduced me to the viewer and I then said goodbye to the viewer as they left (both on arrival and departure I chatted with the viewer and there is no way that would have been able to take anything from my property).

BaconCheeses · 19/10/2025 18:29

CoffeeCantata · 19/10/2025 16:25

Just catching up!

To be clear: I feel sorry for OP having property stolen. That is appalling in the context and I’m not minimising what is a crime and an unsettling one too, as well as a horrible breach of trust and professionalism where the agents are concerned.

But OP - you were daft to tell us it was a Diptyque candle costing £180! OMG - have you any clue how that’s going to come over to people on here who would spend only half that on a weekly shop, or indeed less? It’s really tone-deaf and for that, I think you need to take the teasing on the chin.

£180 candles….you must be either loaded or very gullible, or both!🤣

She doesn't need to take anything on the chin just because a few stuck up arseholes want to kick her while she's down to make themselves feel superior.

There are plenty of fun things in life that don't include making fun of someone else's misfortune.

Bullies have no class.

U53rName · 19/10/2025 18:31

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 16:15

A Magpie stole my engagement ring.

My DH says a magpie stole his metal watch from a windowsill. I always wonder if he’s full of it and misplaced it. Is this really a thing?

SushiForMe · 19/10/2025 18:40

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 16:40

See I think that with the WC. I have a 4 wick candle, but I also have their pot pourri in my living room and I don't need to burn the candle as, for me, the room always smells lovely anyway. Thank you btw.

Ooh I might try their pot pourri…

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:43

Flinderskleepers · 19/10/2025 13:06

I can't believe how much this thread has derailed because of jealousy on what OP spends on her candle. Welcome to Mumsnet I guess!

You don't actually think posters are expressing surprise at the price of the candle because really they want to be able to buy them do you?

I think it's way steep for a candle but to suggest that's because I'm jealous is laughable. We're allowed to think things are overpriced because, you know, they are overpriced, there's no ulterior reason and if someone gave me £180 with no strings attached I wouldn't be heading off to the candle shop 😁

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:48

Sellingseashells · 19/10/2025 14:08

YABU. You can either afford a candle that expensive, in which case you can afford to replace it easily. Or you can’t.

They shouldn’t have stolen. However, it’s a candle. It’s not like they stole something actually valuable, as PPs have said.

By that logic you'd have infinite wealth, how would that work, I save up to buy (say) an expensive car and because I've done that I can afford to keep replacing it? That makes no sense at all

Or does it only apply to candles?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 19/10/2025 18:48

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/10/2025 17:02

Think my 3 wick was 4.99 from Aldi / got it last week

It looks it too. Nothing like Diptyque.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 18:49

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:43

You don't actually think posters are expressing surprise at the price of the candle because really they want to be able to buy them do you?

I think it's way steep for a candle but to suggest that's because I'm jealous is laughable. We're allowed to think things are overpriced because, you know, they are overpriced, there's no ulterior reason and if someone gave me £180 with no strings attached I wouldn't be heading off to the candle shop 😁

I think there's a big difference between expressing surprise such as "gosh that's an awful lot of money for a candle" (which is still totally irrelevant to the point of the thread anyway) and "hahaha, your such a gullible mug OP. They must have seen you coming".

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 19:00

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 18:49

I think there's a big difference between expressing surprise such as "gosh that's an awful lot of money for a candle" (which is still totally irrelevant to the point of the thread anyway) and "hahaha, your such a gullible mug OP. They must have seen you coming".

Maybe I'm the unusual one but if I think of a product (can't actually think of example) where I think people are gullible to pay so much for it the last thing I'd be wishing was that I could afford to do the same, I'd be whatever the opposite of jealous is.

I just can't equate fools and their money being easily parted with jealousy

Smileybutwily · 19/10/2025 19:10

19lottie82 · 19/10/2025 17:39

Oh ffs, I was waiting for this, there’s always one!! 🤦‍♀️

One?
Hold on to your hat, there's waaaaay more than one stupid person that doesn't comprehend we are all different!

paulhollywoodshairgel · 19/10/2025 19:18

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 18/10/2025 21:22

Fuck me, people are paying £180 for candles? How the other half live...

That was my first thought!! That’s a fortnights food shop 😂😂 I’d defo be super pissed that someone stole it though… hope they have a ring doorbell

PortSalutSherryHello · 19/10/2025 19:23

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:43

You don't actually think posters are expressing surprise at the price of the candle because really they want to be able to buy them do you?

I think it's way steep for a candle but to suggest that's because I'm jealous is laughable. We're allowed to think things are overpriced because, you know, they are overpriced, there's no ulterior reason and if someone gave me £180 with no strings attached I wouldn't be heading off to the candle shop 😁

Or course people are jealous.

Some other people are just judgemental and think they have some worth of ordained power of what makes something overpriced.

Neither are good looks.

grumpygrape · 19/10/2025 19:34

Haven’t sold a property for over 30 years and not bought for 28 years so wonder why EAs don’t like sellers doing their own showings ?

OP, your choice and cost of candle shouldn’t become the main point of the thread. It’s gone and the only people in the property apart from yourself(ves) are the EA and viewers.

I think I’d be contacting the Police, giving the EA the incident number and telling them to give the Police the viewers’ details. Unless, of course, the EA is able to ‘find’ your goods and get them back to you.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 19/10/2025 19:48

grumpygrape · 19/10/2025 19:34

Haven’t sold a property for over 30 years and not bought for 28 years so wonder why EAs don’t like sellers doing their own showings ?

OP, your choice and cost of candle shouldn’t become the main point of the thread. It’s gone and the only people in the property apart from yourself(ves) are the EA and viewers.

I think I’d be contacting the Police, giving the EA the incident number and telling them to give the Police the viewers’ details. Unless, of course, the EA is able to ‘find’ your goods and get them back to you.

EAs can charge a fee for showing a prospective buyer around and they can get feedback while things are fresh in the buyers’ mind. We only ever used the EA for viewings once and had them on camera stealing from our garden. Didn’t trust them after that. I think if OP reports the theft to the police and gets a crime number, then tells the EA that’s what she’s done, the item is more likely to reappear anonymously. I’ve seen these candles and a three wick one is large and heavy - difficult for a prospective buyer to hide. My money is on the EA having taken it after the client had left - they would remain behind to lock up and would have the opportunity.

Flinderskleepers · 19/10/2025 19:49

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:43

You don't actually think posters are expressing surprise at the price of the candle because really they want to be able to buy them do you?

I think it's way steep for a candle but to suggest that's because I'm jealous is laughable. We're allowed to think things are overpriced because, you know, they are overpriced, there's no ulterior reason and if someone gave me £180 with no strings attached I wouldn't be heading off to the candle shop 😁

People can think whatever they want, however it's completely irrelevant to the post. Whether it's something that cost 1p or £180, fact it is was stolen and the OP is asking for advice about that. It's really not that hard.

gillefc82 · 19/10/2025 19:50

@HeatingFiddler to a certain degree I agree regarding niche producers often making superior quality products. I’m a bit of a self confessed perfume snob, so prefer to buy from high-end niche perfume houses vs expensive designer brand equivalents (think Initio Parfums vs Guerlain L’Art & La Matière collection). I generally find that as they use better raw materials and specialise in just perfumes, they deliver a superior product with much better projection and longevity and I can avoid having to overspray / continuously top up through the day. Prices are usually similar per bottle (£250-300) but from my experience and in my opinion, the performance is significantly higher from the niche brands vs the designer perfumes (even their exclusive lines), so gives better value for money.

Where I can’t agree with you is from an earlier post when you said “either OP can afford £180 for a candle, in which case she can easily replace it and it's a non-story, or she can't and she shouldn't have bought something she couldn't replace”.

The fact is, some thieving shit has violated @Calcaata’s home. Her ability (or lack of) to replace said stolen item is utterly immaterial. She is perfectly entitled to have an expensive item in her home (and openly displayed), without having to worry about it being stolen - either by an employee of the company she is paying a fee to provide a service (marketing/selling her house) or by the members of the public who are being given access to her property solely under the auspices of having an interest in purchasing said property.

In fact, had she chosen to have it situated in the middle of her hallway, displayed on a tall marble pedestal, surrounded by flashing neon arrows pointing to it with 4-foot high backlit lettering beneath it declaring “£180 designer brand candle”, that STILL wouldn’t have justified it being stolen!

@Calcaata likely has the financial means to go out tomorrow and buy a replacement candle….BUT she shouldn’t have to! People (grown arse adults no less!) should be more than capable of touring a house without getting sticky fingers. Estate agents should be conducting and managing viewings in such a way that there is no opportunity for viewers to surreptitiously pocket something whilst in the property. Finally, the EA companies should have clear policies and procedures in place to both ensure that the employees entrusted with keys/access to properties have been properly trained and vetted, and that should any employee subsequently be found to have abused their position/acted inappropriately or unlawfully, definitive and proportionate action is taken to address, make whole and avoid further damage.

There is zero justification for stealing and the victim’s ability to afford to replace the item is completely irrelevant. Claiming otherwise just comes across as another veiled judgement at OP’s choice to spend her money differently to how you would.

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:00

U53rName · 19/10/2025 18:31

My DH says a magpie stole his metal watch from a windowsill. I always wonder if he’s full of it and misplaced it. Is this really a thing?

Yes. I had one of those jewelry boxes that looked like a wardrobe and I’d taken my ring off in case it hurt my baby son’s head and out it in it. It was on the middle window sill in my bedroom and the window was open. Big gust of wind and the whole thing blew out onto the top of the porch. By the time my husband managed to get up there to get it, they had took it all 🤣

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:04

SushiForMe · 19/10/2025 18:40

Ooh I might try their pot pourri…

It’s amazing!

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 19/10/2025 20:08

£180 for a CANDLE??

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 20:09

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 19/10/2025 20:08

£180 for a CANDLE??

OMG is that how much it was??!!!
I wouldn't know because nobody on this entire thread has mentioned that!

StressedPartyFail · 19/10/2025 20:15

That is shocking and worrying !! And easily done. I’ve always wondered to many people have things go missing when selling up?!

To the poster who said, “can’t afford to burn it” 😂😂 what the hell. I actually have a few expensive candles that I haven’t burnt but I use as decor in my house. Judge me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

KittytheHare · 19/10/2025 20:16

Gosh, this has certainly taken off since yesterday. It’s so tedious seeing the virtue signalling shock about the price of the candle.
So bloody what if the Op spent €180 on a candle! People make different choices - who knew?! Her home was violated, it’s appalling that this happened.
Comparing the price of a candle to a week’s grocery shopping, or commenting that the Op can afford to replace it are beyond irrelevant, and make those posters seem particularly stupid.

FunkyMonks · 19/10/2025 20:19

Trouble is it’s a small minority that do this not majority and while I can understand everyone saying people shouldn’t be allowed to view/ look around without estate agent sat on shoulders as someone who has been on both sides selling and buying and I’ve had the annoyance during covid times of selling having to tell estate agent that toys had been played with in my child’s room that shouldn’t have been touched etc I also can understand how annoying and flustering it can Be to have estate agent following your every move, I once had the home owner following us around waffling on and on about the area the house and it was off putting couldn’t focus and get a feel for the house and sometimes you just need to be left alone for a quick glance.
Hope you get it sorted OP.

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