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AIBU?

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Original poster

Viewer stole from my house?

607 replies

Calcaata · 18/10/2025 20:29

I have a Diptique candle, 3 wick and cost £180. I’ve had two house viewings today, not done by myself but by the estate agent. I’ve come home and it’s missing.

Aibu to expect the estate agent to reimburse me?? I won’t be able to contact them now until Monday.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
WigglywagglyWanda · 20/10/2025 07:00

The poster who "couldn't live with themselves if they spent that on a candle' 🤣

This thread has brought out the most classic of mumsnet tropes

Im imagining posters shaking and crying behind the sofa when the doorbell rings and making a chicken last a family a week.

Op I know it wasnt intentional but youve brought em out of the woodwork.

Good luck with the estate agent later

U53rName · 20/10/2025 07:01

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 19/10/2025 21:51

This. ^

I am not going to bash the OP for spending £180 on a candle, as it's up to her what she spends her money on. But let's not pretend that 'most people will cough up £180 for a candle if they have a decent amount of surplus income.' Most people would not. There was a thread on here the other day about the £200 beef wellington from M & S, and people were talking about it like it was just normal and regular for people to spend this on a beef wellington, and how 'it's only £33 per person, per portion.' 🙄

DH and I are solvent, no mortgage, upper working class, well-educated, live in a rural middle class village, both reasonable earners, plenty of savings, and decent pensions, and no way would we spend this kind of money on a candle, or a beef wellington! We can afford it but we wouldn't spend it. We'd spend on tangible things that will grow in value yes, but a candle and a beef wellington for £180 to £200? Just no.

My 2 DC (aged 30-ish) are high earners (high income tax bracket, 6 figures,) and have decent savings, and surplus income, and they would never spend this kind of money on a candle either. I told the one about this earlier, and she gasped, and said 'like hell would I spend that on a candle!' So it's a myth that anyone who can afford it would buy it.

As I said, the OP shouldn't be mocked and derided, but let's not kid ourselves that it's normal to spend £180 on a candle, because it's really not. The majority of people wouldn't spend this on a candle ... Even people who have a good amount of surplus income.

.

Edited
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Of course your DD gasped when she heard about the £180 candle—she was raised working class and presumably hasn’t been earning a 6-figure salary for long. When she’s in her 50s and has been earning a high salary for decades, she won’t bat an eyelid at a £180 candle.

GAJLY · 20/10/2025 07:11

Have you reported it to the estate agent yet? They need to know as they can log the viewers names in case it comes up again at another viewing. I'd actually report it to the police online.

GinSwiggers · 20/10/2025 07:25

My feeling is the theft is more likely to have been done by the EA.

I could be wrong, but surely the viewers (who have to give contact info etc) knew they'd be in the firing line if they stole anything?

The EA could blame the viewers and also presume the OP (seller) wouldn't pursue it.

I'd like to know if the viewers knew there were other viewings that day.
If they did, they may have taken a chance and decided the OP wouldn't want the police involved in contacting several viewers (all of whom might simply deny stealing.)

But if neither viewer knew of the other, my money's on the agent stealing it.

Either way, a formal complaint is needed to the EA (because they were placed in a position of trust to look after your home and possessions) and contact with the police too.

Bluecrystal2 · 20/10/2025 07:36

DotAndCarryOne2 · 19/10/2025 07:38

In the back garden of our last house there was a beautiful peach tree in full fruit at the time we were selling. The EA showed viewers round one afternoon and after they had gone, the security camera at the back of the house showed her taking a cutting from the tree and then filling a big carrier bag with peaches before she left.

My DH sent the footage to the EA from his phone and asked if they intended to deduct the cost of them from our bill. We got a very red faced apology from the manager, who assigned us to a different member of the sales staff, and we did our own viewings from that point on !!

Show quote history

That's awful. Same thing happened to my sister, but it was cherries.

I would say a female is more likely to go for a scented candle. Sniff next time EA comes round.

RokaRokaRoka · 20/10/2025 07:56

Calcaata · 19/10/2025 00:28

Because I wanted to use it as a teapot.

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No advice... but love this reply 🤣
Ignore all the nit pickers OP
I wouldn't spend that much on a candle because I'm tight but I'd totally be swooning over it and applauding you for buying it
All the negative Nellie's are just jealous

Westfacing · 20/10/2025 08:37

doorbellringer2 · 20/10/2025 01:03

@Calcaata
Hello lovely, I’m the estate agent who posted earlier. I just wanted to clarify, in no way was I blaming you or anyone else who has had a bad experience. No one has the right to enter your home and steal from you.
I was just trying to say that your EA should have advised you to remove anything of value, because no one can be 100% trusted. The viewing procedure is sadly lacking in identity confirmation, that would make people know they were accountable for their actions.
I hope you get it sorted.

Obviously people should move anything of obvious value e.g. jewellery, money, portable silverware, etc from view, but a candle?

It's not something you would think be at risk, no matter how pricey!

It's awful for everyone concerned to be under suspicion for theft, apart from the thief of course.

I do hope the OP comes back to say how she got on with reporting it to the EA.

Nearly50omg · 20/10/2025 09:23

Westfacing · 20/10/2025 08:37

Obviously people should move anything of obvious value e.g. jewellery, money, portable silverware, etc from view, but a candle?

It's not something you would think be at risk, no matter how pricey!

It's awful for everyone concerned to be under suspicion for theft, apart from the thief of course.

I do hope the OP comes back to say how she got on with reporting it to the EA.

Show quote history

Most estate agents take people’s names addresses and phone numbers and email address so they can give these to the police if something happens surely?!

GinSwiggers · 20/10/2025 09:29

I find it hard to believe or understand that EA aren't aware of viewers' details.
To even view a rental you have to complete an enormous document giving a lot of personal data.

At the very least they will have names and phone nos.

The whole point of the EA being there is to manage the viewing and the security aspect.

BeFancyOtter · 20/10/2025 09:32

@Calcaata in solidarity , a viewer must have stolen some small but beautiful ornaments from my elderly mums house...we didnt realise until too late to challenge the estate agent but just to say its irrelevant if it's £10 or £500, theft of personal property is despicable!

smashinghope · 20/10/2025 09:34

How utterly fucking odd that people are going wild over what youve spent on a candle 😂

OP can you come back and let us know the outcome?

Westfacing · 20/10/2025 09:47

GinSwiggers · 20/10/2025 09:29

I find it hard to believe or understand that EA aren't aware of viewers' details.
To even view a rental you have to complete an enormous document giving a lot of personal data.

At the very least they will have names and phone nos.

The whole point of the EA being there is to manage the viewing and the security aspect.

Indeed.

The agents who handled my late ex's empty property sent details of viewers such as, Mr & Mrs Blogs are booked to view at 11.00, we are also selling their property; or Mr Smith viewing at 12.00 is renting locally from XYZ estate agents.

So a lot of information is known, or should be.

ERthree · 20/10/2025 10:16

OP i think you have had a hard time on here. Having anything stolen from you is not good especially from your home.
If someone wants to burn £180 that's up to them. Some folk spend a fortune on takeaway coffee or make up. We all choose our own treats.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 20/10/2025 10:38

OP, they do an advent calendar! you should buy it and post a pic!

Your money, spend it on what makes you happy!

Maybe it was the estate agent - I would think that more than a potential purchaser

Caroparo52 · 20/10/2025 10:55

Not quite in the same boat but similar case of theft..... an Airbnb guest took home the four 500ml bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash and hand cream. Cost £40.00
I asked her to return them or send me the money. She said she assumed they were freebies!

RhiWrites · 20/10/2025 11:48

Calcaata · 19/10/2025 23:28

Well I do want to thank everyone who’s commented with advice, defended me and even the bat shit posters who’s heads blew up in a rage - you actually gave me a good laugh.

I think the person who insinuated I should kill myself for spending that money might have been a touch on the extreme side. But if I do take her advice I hope she lights a candle in my memory.

I did lie and the candle actually cost £179, so hopefully this now means I can count it as theft.

I won’t be updating as I wouldn’t give some of the posters on here the pleasure. I’m not flouncing - I’ll still be around 😊

Oh no, but I want to know what happened! Is the estate agent taking accountability?

Rituelec · 20/10/2025 12:58

Im shocked at some responses. I'm a minimum wage earner and I have spent 200 and more on crystals!

Why is 180 on a candle so bad if OP enjoys it?

Ledwood85 · 20/10/2025 13:27

Rothschild OP here, just back from burning some £50s at the bonfire pit. Apologies in all honesty I’ve not read all the comments, as it’s moved so fast.

😂 You go OP, don't worry about the bitters, classic MN "I can't afford that, so you shouldn't have it either" nonsense.

I also agree with PP that I think it would be too big for a punter to sneak into their pocket or handbag on their way around. My suspicion would fall on the EA.

Of course, don't open with an accusation - rather "did you move my candle somewhere safe? I can't find it" sort of angle.

Good luck!

Simonjt · 20/10/2025 14:18

GinSwiggers · 20/10/2025 09:29

I find it hard to believe or understand that EA aren't aware of viewers' details.
To even view a rental you have to complete an enormous document giving a lot of personal data.

At the very least they will have names and phone nos.

The whole point of the EA being there is to manage the viewing and the security aspect.

We I was buying I had to provide photo ID and proof of address before I could book any viewings.

HRchatter · 20/10/2025 14:29

This happens a lot more often than you might think in The higher price bracket in fact the Estate Agents themselves have been known to have light fingers and they are not DBS checked
I would never allow an estate agent to conduct a viewing without me there

CareerChange24 · 20/10/2025 15:01

Emonade · 18/10/2025 22:41

It is a waste and I don’t know how people can live with themselves unless I am being totally unreasonable and they are also giving significant amounts to charity

Definitely something missing from your brain, like the first letter of your username is missing. Everything is relative - what you consider expensive and wasteful, others do not. I’m sure you give to the ‘big’ charities where you are literally funding con artists. Well done you. And unless you eat every breadcrumb of food you buy, squeeze every bit of last toothpaste in a tube, then you and we are all guilty of being wasteful in some form.

I can’t believe the amount of comments are talking like the OP was asking to be robbed because she bought a diptyque candle. The £180 ones are fairly large so either she had a large handbag or I hope you can see on ring-doorbell footage or something.

themerchentofvenus · 20/10/2025 16:54

Calcaata · 19/10/2025 23:28

Well I do want to thank everyone who’s commented with advice, defended me and even the bat shit posters who’s heads blew up in a rage - you actually gave me a good laugh.

I think the person who insinuated I should kill myself for spending that money might have been a touch on the extreme side. But if I do take her advice I hope she lights a candle in my memory.

I did lie and the candle actually cost £179, so hopefully this now means I can count it as theft.

I won’t be updating as I wouldn’t give some of the posters on here the pleasure. I’m not flouncing - I’ll still be around 😊

That's a shame you're not going to update.

It would be nice if you did update for those of us who made helpful suggestions rather than letting the forum trolls and pathetic jealous people win.

This site is full of bitter people who just need ignoring.

grumpygrape · 20/10/2025 17:27

Congratulations OP, you are now officially an Influencer! My Mumsnet adverts are now all for Diptique and Liberty 🤣

LittleMoreLegAction · 20/10/2025 17:34

I wish OP would update on what she actually intends to do re the theft and the estate agent.

WigglywagglyWanda · 20/10/2025 18:11

LittleMoreLegAction · 20/10/2025 17:34

I wish OP would update on what she actually intends to do re the theft and the estate agent.

I agree.

Op theres more folk empathising with you than not

Don't let the 'Im really well off from Tumbridge Wells' types on here put you off.

Thankfully they've been given short shrift by folk who concentrated on what you atually asked!