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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6
Ratafia · 19/10/2025 10:03

1457bloom · 19/10/2025 09:53

We now have the higher taxes we have ever had. We cannot afford the welfare system as it stands. We cannot afford to support the 6.5 million adults on out of work benefits. Something has to change, the welfare state needs big cuts.

One of the reasons for our financial problems is very obviously Brexit. Why should we support a party which so wholeheartedly supports its continuance?

Piccolomaforte · 19/10/2025 10:10

I can’t imagine the Conservative meetings went much differently, only with posher accents. After the events during Covid, it’s clear that we generally overestimate the professional and intellectual abilities of politicians.
Do you think labour/Jeremy Corbyn’s meetings were any better?

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 10:11

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fromthechandelier · 19/10/2025 10:24

spoonbillstretford · 19/10/2025 03:18

I'm glad the local government reforms will get rid of KCC and divide it into unitary authorities.

Why? Genuinely curious about this, what will creating multiple unitary authorities do better?

SerendipityJane · 19/10/2025 10:27

We can't have a reform thread without mentioning Russia (which I now have 😀)

There you are Google - you can have that on me. I do hope it doesn't mean "Farage" and "Russian money" continue to float around in listings.

My work here is done.

Ratafia · 19/10/2025 10:27

OonaStubbs · 19/10/2025 00:55

Councils should not have "statutory duties" it should be up to local taxpayers as to which services they provide and to whom.

Seriously? So if your council just decides that it's going to stop funding schools or rubbish collections overnight, that will be OK with you, will it?

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 19/10/2025 10:29

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 08:21

Well the EHCP process for one. We can’t afford such expensive plans for so many children plus taxis. I think it is in hand though

To clarify - are you saying too many people are claiming measures under the ECHP process that don’t really need them/fraudulently or are you saying you recognise that there are many in genuine need but it just shouldn’t have to be paid for by anyone other than the individuals involved?

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 10:34

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 19/10/2025 10:29

To clarify - are you saying too many people are claiming measures under the ECHP process that don’t really need them/fraudulently or are you saying you recognise that there are many in genuine need but it just shouldn’t have to be paid for by anyone other than the individuals involved?

When did I say anything about fraudulently?

I think children are being granted EHCPs who don’t need them, because if the higher standards of parental advocation (they’re so worried about dropping the ball or minor struggles in their children that they feel they have to tackle them aggressively), private ‘assessments’ and ‘psychologists’ who can fulfil the legal requirements with forensic report writing, and an explosion of ND which I think is less of an inherent condition and brain difference than it is a reaction to current events, screens, social media and arrested development.

VaccineSticker · 19/10/2025 10:35

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I don’t know if there has been studies to support your claim, however as a developed nation, we need to help support them and give them the best start in life without giving up on them.
Children with SEND are more likely to experience one or more the adverse childhood experiences.
Studies have shown that children who have experienced one or more of adverse childhood experiences are more likely to suffer substance abuse, have an increased chance of mental health problems,
find forming relationships hard, and even are more likely to get involved in crime.

We need to support SEND more than ever.

Fridgemanageress · 19/10/2025 10:42

Coolasfeck · 19/10/2025 07:32

Are you having an offline bet on how many times you can use the word ‘sadly’?

Perhaps I’m one of the many that have “sadly” worked out what the Green Party is all about

There are alot ( I say a lot - truthfully not that many) of us, who were laughed at for voting Green in previous elections. They could have being a serious party now, not the laughing stock that they “sadly” have become.

Crikeyalmighty · 19/10/2025 10:48

I’m in Netherlands at the moment - (Haarlem to be precise- very nice too) everywhere has its issues but you come here and can see the difference - masses of European head offices, clearly masses of high end work, few empty shops, people out and about in an evening of all ages - perfectly good glass of wine in smart places 5 to 8 euros - streets clean , not spied any homeless here at all - the big difference ? EU obviously and PR ! Yes the far right like Wilders has support here so gets ‘some’ representation but No one wants to work with them so it’s tempered hugely

BitOutOfPractice · 19/10/2025 10:56

Crikeyalmighty · 19/10/2025 10:48

I’m in Netherlands at the moment - (Haarlem to be precise- very nice too) everywhere has its issues but you come here and can see the difference - masses of European head offices, clearly masses of high end work, few empty shops, people out and about in an evening of all ages - perfectly good glass of wine in smart places 5 to 8 euros - streets clean , not spied any homeless here at all - the big difference ? EU obviously and PR ! Yes the far right like Wilders has support here so gets ‘some’ representation but No one wants to work with them so it’s tempered hugely

I think that’s a very rosy spin on the political situation and the tension around immigration in the Netherlands!

Yes Haarlem is lovely. But extrapolating that out to the whole of the Netherlands is like saying all of England is like Bath or Harrogate.

Seaitoverthere · 19/10/2025 11:05

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I know you hate to say it @Nescafeneeded but given you have, what is your solution to the current situation?

Fleetheart · 19/10/2025 11:06

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Nope - you are incorrect- my DS for example - my God what a fight we had to get him any support- the number of panels, meetings etc etc all of which come at a huge cost. He finally did get help but had to be taxied - then came covid and it all stopped. He is now working full time- however it could easily have gone the other way into a life of crime - I’ve seen it with a number of people. Early support is necessary for a healthy society.

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 11:06

Crikeyalmighty · 19/10/2025 10:48

I’m in Netherlands at the moment - (Haarlem to be precise- very nice too) everywhere has its issues but you come here and can see the difference - masses of European head offices, clearly masses of high end work, few empty shops, people out and about in an evening of all ages - perfectly good glass of wine in smart places 5 to 8 euros - streets clean , not spied any homeless here at all - the big difference ? EU obviously and PR ! Yes the far right like Wilders has support here so gets ‘some’ representation but No one wants to work with them so it’s tempered hugely

So the masses support a right wing party it just doesn’t get in because non-right wing parties don’t want to work with them? Hardly a sign that the country is a happy left wing one is it?

Dogaredabomb · 19/10/2025 11:06

Crikeyalmighty · 19/10/2025 08:26

May I suggest anyone who thinks this isa bit fanciful starts watching series3 of Babylon Berlin ( tremendous drama series by the way) - shows exactly how it all started- series3 starts in 1929 and wall st crash - basically it initially starts as getting some order back then things that the Nazis don’t like get stopped, people get ‘removed’ and go missing, people stop offering opinions, they make sure their own people are in charge at police , local gvt etc, - it all starts though very innocently by getting people to feel resentful and snitch on each other - it wasa total power grab by a load of inadequates basically with no talent or innovation - just weirdo bully boys who sensed an opportunity

I remember laughing at the mad idea that one day we'd have Boris and Trump at the same time......

And there is money, look at how they suddenly opened the purse strings for their mates during covid.

Think about WHY JFK was murdered, within 24 hours Johnson had signed up for much more Vietnam War. People are being silenced and murdered all the time, Virginia Guiffre.

We're being run by Big Money.

Fleetheart · 19/10/2025 11:08

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 11:06

So the masses support a right wing party it just doesn’t get in because non-right wing parties don’t want to work with them? Hardly a sign that the country is a happy left wing one is it?

it’s a shame we are no longer part of the EU as we don’t have access to any of these opportunities now

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 19/10/2025 11:13

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 10:34

When did I say anything about fraudulently?

I think children are being granted EHCPs who don’t need them, because if the higher standards of parental advocation (they’re so worried about dropping the ball or minor struggles in their children that they feel they have to tackle them aggressively), private ‘assessments’ and ‘psychologists’ who can fulfil the legal requirements with forensic report writing, and an explosion of ND which I think is less of an inherent condition and brain difference than it is a reaction to current events, screens, social media and arrested development.

You didn’t - I was trying to ascertain what it was you were objecting to about the EHCP. That’s how questions work.

What is your evidence for EHCPs being granted to children don’t need them?

I imagine private assessments have increased because they are increasingly difficult to obtain through schools. So are you saying to avoid the ‘aggressive parental advocacy’ of private assessments, provision should be increased, and maybe sped up, in the state sector? Because I doubt that would cut overall costs. Or just that children who can’t get through the state route, and whose parent’s use private assessments shouldn’t have access to the process? If so, how would ensure you’re not locking out a whole raft of children who do actually need the support but just can’t access it?

Fleetheart · 19/10/2025 11:15

@Nescafeneeded I do feel that you have no idea how hard it is to get an EHCP 😊

Ponoka7 · 19/10/2025 11:17

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My DD went to a SEN school. They are now all closed. She was picked up by bus. I was part of the protests around the schools closing, inclusiveness was never going to work. My DD works in catering in the NHS, we are in Liverpool, so she's managed to buy a house, her peer group include, a HGV driver, hospitality staff, catering and domestics in the NHS, Fast food, retail and admin/IT. I'd say at least 70% are in steady work. Who you are talking about is the more affected, by their disabilities, children. What are we supposed to do with them? The institutions were more expensive. As for Social Care, what do we do with the old, that's cheaper? It shows that you know very little about the subject. Our society relies on people to have disposable income, or we end up with pockets of total deprivation, as in Jaywick. Then we pay more in the justice/prison service, health care, than we would have done under the present system. Very few of us want to live in a society that mirrors Bangladesh, with people, including disabled children, begging on the streets. So we throw out the Care Acts, what, in practice, does that look like?

Baital · 19/10/2025 11:23

Fridgemanageress · 18/10/2025 20:50

Sadly, I think all politicians are the same - full of it!!

I help run a local charity, and in that role have quite a bit of liaison with our Council (Labour run). I respect our local Councillors - i don't always agree with their policies, or national Labour policies, but on the whole they are people who have educated themselves on the issues, care about their local community, and are trying to make the best decisions in the face of difficult circumstances.

By the time they reach 'cabinet' rank in the Council they have had several years as a ward councillor to learn how to work effectively with the resources available, including making tough decisions (because funding one area means there isn't money for another important area), and the legal responsibilities of LAs.

Salemsplot · 19/10/2025 11:32

I work with ‘government’ within my role. I’ve seen both Conservative and Labour and can safely say I’ve never seen anything even remotely like what is in that video. They’re professional and respectful. The behaviour in the video is embarrassing. If it were an office they’d be sacked.

OP posts:
flawlessflipper · 19/10/2025 12:01

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 10:34

When did I say anything about fraudulently?

I think children are being granted EHCPs who don’t need them, because if the higher standards of parental advocation (they’re so worried about dropping the ball or minor struggles in their children that they feel they have to tackle them aggressively), private ‘assessments’ and ‘psychologists’ who can fulfil the legal requirements with forensic report writing, and an explosion of ND which I think is less of an inherent condition and brain difference than it is a reaction to current events, screens, social media and arrested development.

LAs wouldn’t issue EHCPs if they weren’t necessary. Neither would SENDIST Order they be issued if the legal test wasn’t met - if LAs thought SENDIST had erred they would be quick to challenge SENDIST’s Order.

Cl3arDay · 19/10/2025 12:02

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 10:34

When did I say anything about fraudulently?

I think children are being granted EHCPs who don’t need them, because if the higher standards of parental advocation (they’re so worried about dropping the ball or minor struggles in their children that they feel they have to tackle them aggressively), private ‘assessments’ and ‘psychologists’ who can fulfil the legal requirements with forensic report writing, and an explosion of ND which I think is less of an inherent condition and brain difference than it is a reaction to current events, screens, social media and arrested development.

Oh the ignorant pontificating!

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get an EHCP? They are given on need with a very high bar. A ND diagnosis does not an EHCP get. The majority of children with ND diagnoses won’t have an EHCP .

Nescafeneeded · 19/10/2025 12:05

flawlessflipper · 19/10/2025 12:01

LAs wouldn’t issue EHCPs if they weren’t necessary. Neither would SENDIST Order they be issued if the legal test wasn’t met - if LAs thought SENDIST had erred they would be quick to challenge SENDIST’s Order.

‘Necessary’ is subjective.

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