AIBU to think life was MUCH better when your neighbours didn't have constant access to you?

129 replies

SuperTropics · 18/10/2025 20:01

I need some clarity because I am going flipping mad.

Moved into a new home earlier this year, having some building work done and my builders were being arses when I wasn't around. I knocked on a few doors to apologise and one of the neighbours mentioned there was a street WhatsApp group.

I was immediately sceptical (I like my privacy!) but wanted to apologise to the street without going door to door so asked to join.

What. A. Fucking. Mistake.

The group is full of busybodies taking pictures of "dodgy look men" (read black or brown), cars parked on the street in-front of their houses (this is London!) and other absolute crap.

The moment my building work is done I intend to leave, I know this will ruffle feathers but I'd rather dirty looks in the street then seeing 60+ messages in the morning about "what was that loud noise at 22.20???" or "can anyone borrow me a car permit for my guest?"

AIBU to think that life was so much better when your neighbours didn't have your mobile phone number/constant access to you?

If you want me, knock on my door!

OP posts:

DollydaydreamTheThird · 22/10/2025 21:08

Icecreamandcoffee · 19/10/2025 11:45

Either leave the Whatsapp group or mute the chat. I love ours and it provides endless entertainment during Maternity leave. I also "know" most of the characters on the group as I used to walk up and down with my pram when oldest DD was a baby 4 years ago and got chatting to them all as I walked past.

We have one (set up in Covid) and live surrounded mainly by pensioners - 3 of which are complete busybodies. I am so grateful that pensioner groups are back on because that couple of years during Covid and after Covid when people could go out and about and generally get back on with life but all the pensioner groups were not running was crackers with the Whatsapp. Constant "whose that walking their dog past number 3? they don't live here" (Phil you live next to the canal towpath). "Does anyone know who this is? They don't live on our road and this is the 3rd walk they have had today past our house" (Mary chill please, our road leads to the kids play park). "Does anyone know who the bins belong to outside number 8? They have been out all morning and not brought in yet" (erm... Possibly Number 8 Marge? Number 8 are NHS workers and at work in the daytime).

Thankfully Mary, Phil and Marge have a full social calendar of church coffee mornings, pop in shop, pie and peas at the village hall, table tennis afternoon at the village hall, knitting club, sip and paint, Women's institute, men in sheds ect. So now the chat is full of "does anyone fancy coming to coffee morning/ knitting/ table tennis?" And "church / village hall is having a fundraiser" scattered amongst the "this dog has shat/ pissed on the path outside my house" and "number 8's bins are out again and it's 2pm". I have excess veg/ fruit from the garden does anyone want some? We do always know what colour bin it is thanks to Phil the binfluencer who kindly made me a bin colour chart the other year and every year thereafter after DH accidentally put the wrong colour bin out a few years ago.

There was drama the other day as the "new" people on the street (they moved in 6 months ago) have set up a cake cupboard outside their house and now cars are stopping and people are stopping and shock horror buying cakes - apparently it's bringing down the tone of the area. But it's ok because Marge has reported it to the council to find out if they need planning for it.

Although currently they are all thrilled to have a new baby on the street so I get "icecreamandcoffee how is the baby?, "I've knitted a cardigan at knitting club I'll bring it round". The chat before I had the baby all August and early September was constant "have you had the baby?" Every time I left the house in the car with DH I would have a message "is baby here yet?" I am forever grateful to Sanjay and Mina however who brought us homemade curry round a few days after I gave birth and his constant supply of vegetables that have taken over his garden and him and his wife can no longer get through now all his children have left home.

I absolutely love this post @Icecreamandcoffee This is what community is about. We have a WhatsApp neighbourhood group but we live on a big estate so I don't know most of them but they all give stuff away, offer gluts of apples etc, help people out if they need to lend something. I do know everyone on my street though. We swap presents with direct neighbours at Christmas and my kids always get something on their birthdays and at Easter. They give us food from their allotment too. I can't imagine living somewhere where I didn't talk to my neighbours. How awkward would that be?

Breadcat24 · 22/10/2025 21:26

I have the numbers of some elderly neighbours and they have mine- community facebook no thanks

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 22/10/2025 21:33

I have no idea if there is a street whatsapp group, but I doubt I'd be allowed in since I seem to have been rejected from the Facebook group 😂 bunch of snobby bastards.

My immediate NDN do have my number as our kids are friends and play together a lot but we are very good at respecting each other's space and it's just the odd "we're having a bonfire, just a heads up" or "I gave L a kitkat, hope that's OK"

Other than that, sadly, the rest of street ignore me completly, probably because I rent and they think they are better than me or because they think I own and just can't be bothered to do up my slightly scruffy house when actually I have no power to do so.

Icecreamandcoffee · 22/10/2025 21:58

DollydaydreamTheThird · 22/10/2025 21:08

Show quote history

It really is. Despite the highly strung nature of some of the characters in the group our road and the other 2 roads on the WhatsApp group are generally friendly. I am a chatty person (much to DH's chagrin) so I've never not spoken to my neighbours or fellow street neighbours.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread