AIBU to think life was MUCH better when your neighbours didn't have constant access to you?

[SuperTropics]

I need some clarity because I am going flipping mad.

Moved into a new home earlier this year, having some building work done and my builders were being arses when I wasn't around. I knocked on a few doors to apologise and one of the neighbours mentioned there was a street WhatsApp group.

I was immediately sceptical (I like my privacy!) but wanted to apologise to the street without going door to door so asked to join.

What. A. Fucking. Mistake.

The group is full of busybodies taking pictures of "dodgy look men" (read black or brown), cars parked on the street in-front of their houses (this is London!) and other absolute crap.

The moment my building work is done I intend to leave, I know this will ruffle feathers but I'd rather dirty looks in the street then seeing 60+ messages in the morning about "what was that loud noise at 22.20???" or "can anyone borrow me a car permit for my guest?"

AIBU to think that life was so much better when your neighbours didn't have your mobile phone number/constant access to you?

If you want me, knock on my door!

Thank you for this, I didn't know only admins were alerted! Social angst over, I'm leaving tonight!

All our neighbours hate us since we extended our house - despite our builders being overall considerate and decent. They’ve all had work done - far worse stuff went on with them, but it’s one rule for them, one for us. Anyway it’s BLISS not speaking to any of the prats 😆👌 So nice to not have to engage to in all the fake bull. Get off the WhatsApp as soon as you can 😅

My exact sentiments. Some of the comments have been so vile and I would have been so happy living in blissful ignorance. That bottled rage is a sight to behold!

We are a friendly street and I have some peoples numbers but I don't contact them through WhatsApp. I have one close friendship group WhatsApp and individual friends and family members I might contact through WhatsApp but I keep it simple. Groups are intrusive and raise expectation of constant answering and interaction. Why do people want that 🤷‍♀️

Just mute the chat or leave it.

Hmm. Thank you for your perspective.

Do you think you'll still find it as useful/fulfilling when you're back at work and juggling motherhood/life in general? Being on mat leave is a different world etc.

We have one and a Facebook page. New build estate. WhatsApp group is only used rarely. Facebook was interesting before anonymous got turned off. Mostly complaining about the one house whose dog barks constantly. It turned into a competition on who was being disturbed the most.

the dog started to bark for about 5 mins only a day instead of hours. Facebook moaners proudly congratulated themselves on how the moaning stopped the barking. Till I says I actually went round to speak to them and as they were used to it had y realised how annoying it was and stopped. They were not on Facebook.

but it is useful about missing parcels and tradesmen links.

I live in a road to has a. Facebook Neighbours group who seem to have nothing better to do but slag off neighbours, cause trouble .and talk rubbish.

I am not a member of this group of and never will be.

Take my advice. Never give any neighbours any information about you even.your first name. Just

I even turn my flat intercom off if l am not expecting visitors. Else l would be used as a unagreed drop off parcel and information point.

I refuse to join any WhatsApp groups. The school parents have one but I have no desire to join, managed 2 years of avoiding it so only a few more to go lol. I'm not sure if my neighbours have one but if they do I wouldn't be joining. My phone is my phone and I block anyone I want to.

Why the aggressive misanthropy? I’ve been in residents’ and class parents’ WhatsApps in several places/schools in two different countries, and they’ve all been absolutely fine and useful for occasional forgotten homework, car alarm going off, or lost keys/pets. No one has ever misused my phone number from any of these groups.

I've lived here 30 years and only one of my neighbours has my number, incase there's any problems when I'm on holiday.

We don’t have one in this road but I’d be on it if we did. Just to laugh.

Lucky to be very good friends with pretty much all our neighbours so can’t relate

Why does anyone sane use other media when you can just knock on a door?

Because you’ve got a distressed, injured cat with no collar you don’t recognise in your garden? Because someone’s burglar alarm is going off in the middle of the night and no one is at home when you knock? Because you found a set of keys on the street, or someone accidentally took in your wheelie bin, and knocking on a few doors didn’t get you any results? It’s just easier than going door to door.

How do they even know it’s you?

Remove your picture and name from your WhatsApp profile, you will just show as a random mobile number to them. I doubt any of them have saved your contact details.

I've voted YABU only because of the fact you joined a street what's app group in the first place.
What the hell, like local town or village Facebook groups aren't bad enough?! 😳😁
Don't engage in the madness lol

Actually, I moved from an estate with a FB group and felt so safe knowing what was going on and being close to a new area where we don't know anyone. We knew if there was a problem we could address it and we were there for each other.

New place, shared semi neighbours are polite but have no interest in getting to know us, occasional hi to others. I can imagine how some people feel lonely without some form of community contact.

I miss my old home with the looking out for each other, looked past the moans, which were like a soap opera at times. Fortunately we weren't a cause for them but we did see neighbours would remark how we were away that day as no cars on drive so couldn't have been us to make a mess etc. It was funny really but DH hated it! Xxx

Wow, I find that quite sad. I grew up in a time when people stayed in one house for years and everyone was friendly and helpful. I really can't imagine living somewhere for 38 years and not even knowing my neighbours' names.

No, not sad at all. I am extremely happy.

Our previous next door neighbour was a menace and im glad he's gone

The demographic has changed over the years and all my neighbours on my block don't speak English, they don't say hello to me when I pass them so its not like I can turn to them in an emergency.
Anyway my bestie lives two streets away so she's on hand if I need someone.

This is my second Mat leave. I wouldn't say it's what makes my life fulfilling or even takes up any headspace. I have far better things to do with my life. Most of the time it's something mundane - bins/ dogs/ lost cat/ "strange" car or people ect. Occasionally it's helpful - package dropped off at x for y, someone trying car doors/ front doors/ gates, dodgy sellers and cold callers flogging guttering/ windows/ garden services ect. The messages come in, I just ignore them or scroll on by. I don't really contribute or get involved unless I get refered to or it's something that affects us.

Most of our WhatsApp group chat is mainly 3 very highly strung pensioners and a few less highly strung but bored pensioners ( a few of whom are pretty much housebound or only going out when relatives come to take them out). Life becomes very narrow I imagine when you are housebound or limited in going out options (public transport is dire despite us living in a town and taxis are very limited - you need to be booking well in advance, many local taxis are on pre organised runs like school/ hospital/ airport or commuting from train station runs).

Just change the settings for that WhatsApp group . Simple.

No, none of my neighbours have my phone number, I know very few of their names - next door is Barbara Margaret as can't remember which one it is, there are the people at the end with the dog and John at the other end who isn't actually called John I found out a while ago. He's a horrific busybody and I will not entertain him so he ignores me and vice versa. As someone else said, they are strangers who just happen to have bought a house near me.

I live on a long road so our street WhatsApp group has about 100 people in it. It's never been an issue - just people asking for domestic recommendations, the odd missing cat or stray parcel, people giving stuff away.

The neighbours directly on either side have my number as we do each other's bins when we're away etc, plus I am friends with quite a few others through school or community stuff. I can't imagine living on a street for a while and not knowing a single person, it must feel a bit isolated.

I was in a neighbours group at my old house, someone started it during Covid. It was useful for bits like 'does anyone have any flour/nappies/Covid tests' and I signed a neighbour's forms for something for her as a 'witness' (she posted it through my door and then I posted it back that evening when I got home). But except for the one person doing "I hope I see you all on the doorsteps at 8pm for the clap!!!!!!!!!!!" school hall monitor behaviour it was fine. When another neighbour had a house fire we used it to get someone's car moved so the fire engine could get down the street. Useful stuff!

However. You can just mute/archive it. Then you don't need to face the drama of being asked about leaving and if someone asks you why you didn't reply just say you don't check Whatsapp very often and if they need you for something important to knock on.

Just mute and archive it. Less likely to cause offence