AIBU to think life was MUCH better when your neighbours didn't have constant access to you?

[SuperTropics]

I need some clarity because I am going flipping mad.

Moved into a new home earlier this year, having some building work done and my builders were being arses when I wasn't around. I knocked on a few doors to apologise and one of the neighbours mentioned there was a street WhatsApp group.

I was immediately sceptical (I like my privacy!) but wanted to apologise to the street without going door to door so asked to join.

What. A. Fucking. Mistake.

The group is full of busybodies taking pictures of "dodgy look men" (read black or brown), cars parked on the street in-front of their houses (this is London!) and other absolute crap.

The moment my building work is done I intend to leave, I know this will ruffle feathers but I'd rather dirty looks in the street then seeing 60+ messages in the morning about "what was that loud noise at 22.20???" or "can anyone borrow me a car permit for my guest?"

AIBU to think that life was so much better when your neighbours didn't have your mobile phone number/constant access to you?

If you want me, knock on my door!

We have a street WhatsApp group but it's only used for organising annual street get together, to send apologies if a delivery is blocking the road (narrow road) and to check in on elderly neighbours during power cuts or floods (we live rurally)

not everyone is on it tho and it's no biggie if they're not. Just leave your one

I simply wouldnt want join a Whatsapp group for the Street. My village FB is just full of people complaining about something or other. Heading into 'prime' moaning season - Halloween, Firework Night (weekend) Remembrance Weekend (Last year a local gun club shooting clays in the 2 minutes silence at the church on the Sunday Morning). Fireworks being set off randomly for the next couple of months.

Our neighbourhood WhatsApp group is the perfect blend of soap opera lite (dog owners neglecting to pick up the shit) and very helpful.

Its quite entertaining.

I have great neighbours, but only two have my mobile number. We certainly don't have a WhatsApp or Facebook group. It was the same in my previous neighbourhood, but none of my neighbours had my mobile number there.

My elderly next door neighbour has my number but he's the only one.. if anyone else needs me they contact me via Facebook messenger....

YANBU at all.
Our village has one and I won't join. If it's anything like the local Facebook page, it's not something I want to be a part of.
I left the village facebook page in 2020 as it turned into the most spiteful, vindictive and frankly, pathetic place you can imagine. Nothing aimed at me personally, but in general it was so unpleasant I couldn't stand to see the posts pop up. It made me realise that some people really need a hobby (and anger management)

Just checked our street whatapp and the last measages were from 3 weeks ago and it was someone asking for recommendations for a trades person with a couple of replies.

I agree! It's good to have neighbours looking out and alerting folks if necessary,not like there are Bobbies on the beat anymore.

Nope, my next neighbours don't have my phone number. Its not necessary.

3 neighbours have my number ( in case my house burns down/ is burgled when we’re away) and that’s fine but I’m not on any WhatsApp groups at all. Just remove yourself it’s not hard!

I'm not friends with my neighbours. I'm civil to some, friendlyish with others but Whatsapp groups are not for me. My elderly neghbour has my number and I wish I hadn't given her that as she is always asking for help. I hate to be a misery guts but if you give people an inch they'll take a mile. I have friends in the village and love community but most of my neghbours are twats to be honest. Best to not get too involved - several of them became really close then fell out which is now awkward. I just smile, wave and don't invite them over for parties.

When I first lived in this house, we were all a little group. Similar ages, all new to the area. Most have moved on, not all. I have nobody’s phone number but I do have two neighbours on facebook and several previous ones. Neighbour across the road, I’ve been known to message her and her me for various things. Our DS have been friends to varying degrees since she moved here. At least one of my neighbours says things that don’t chime with me on some local fb groups ( have left the village one, but still on other local village ones) so there’s no way I’d want to be friends with him, and another had a go at me at a vaccination centre when I volunteered there but didn’t realise who I was (masks were useful for something) so I’d rather not be pally with him either.

mute the group?

I’m on it and some of the stuff is helpful. But yes the parking and racists.

YANBU but I have never yet lived anywhere where my neighbours have my number.

Well out neighbours have our phone number which we were grateful for last time we went on holiday. Apparently we had left the house not noticing that the front door had not closed and propwely was in fact wide open. It wouldn't close due to a faulty latch. We were able to sort it out while on holiday by getting a locksmith to come and fix it . Without our neighbours contacting us,the front door would have been open for a week.

They also called to tell us that a tree branch had fallen on our front garden fence during a storm when we were away and again we were able to get someone to come and clear the ( very heavy) tree branch from abroad.

When we were away for 2 weeks over a very hot summer they watered our garden a couple of times. We did the same for them

So yes we leave our phone number with our neighbours and let them know if we will all be away on holiday for more than a few days

I have a policy not to befriend neighbours too much, for fear that they’ll start whatsapping me and inviting me to stuff. We are all perfectly happy to chat in the street for no longer than a minute but do I heckers need more people being nice and making me socialise.

No street WhatsApp here . I think Nextdoor is bad enough .

The only phone number swaps we have are with the elderly lady next door and her daughter.

So did your neighbours alert you to the party?

I left mIne. Busy body nonsense.

We have our immediate neighbour’s numbers and they have ours. 99% of our messages are about taking out the bins when we’re on our respective holidays.

What!!!!!! I take it you don't live in terraced or semi then? How can you not know your direct neighbours?

'Can anyone borrow me a car permit for my guest?' 😂

This is like the Mn take on the school run or the PTA, full of cliques, exclusions, and high drama. I’ve been on about five neighbourhood WhatsApp groups in two countries, and they’ve all been perfectly sane. My current one is pretty much entirely people posting about missing cats or asking for recommendations for window cleaners, or occasionally telling someone parked on the street they’ve left a window open.

The only drama I’ve ever encountered was a village WhatsApp group which, when I moved in and joined it, had recently reformed after everyone had left its previous iteration after one of the parish council had started posting his poetry on it.

I have lived here over 30 years. None of my neighbours have my phone number, nor I theirs. A few of them, I don't know their names.
I have no idea whether there is a What's App group, and certainly wouldn't join, if invited.
This is on you, OP - you don't have to have any interaction with your neighbours. You have choices.