To move my DS year 10 who has an ECHP from a mainstream secondary school whose target grades are around grades 2/3 to a Private School and ask DS to start year 8 in January at the Private School to a Private school and ask him

[redange]

I have three children two DD's and 1 adopted DS DD's are in year 11 and 9 respectively at a very highly regarded girls Grammar school. DD'1 is expected to achieve 9/10 grade 9's next year DD'2 will need '52' points for the schools sixth form which is likely to mean she will have to work quite hard.

However, after DH's attitude towards DS, such as he will never need to work and there will be enough money anyway for him. I am furious with DH for his dismissal and his suggestion to DD'1 goes to a Boarding School for 6th form to expand her agency ! DH is ex Public School whose family are old money thus he and his family believe both daughters lack a bit of polish. DH however has an attitude that a mainstream secondary school with a FSM rate of 42% has provided a perfectly adequate education for DS given his academic potential.

I have made contact with a non selective Private School who have suggested DS starts this January but in year 8 due to his academic needs. I have not told DS yet and do not know who he will respond to be put back two years.

I think this is an absolutely mad plan and I'm very surprised the school came up with it. If they are an academically intensive (even if non selective) school where he's expected to do lots of homework alone to keep up, it's going to be the wrong place for DS whether he goes back two years or not. With how you've described his profile, it also may not work - it sounds less like he needs to repeat content than he needs a completely different teaching style and maybe a reduced curriculum to focus on passing English and Maths, or to play to his strengths.

There are private schools who will offer this kind of child-centred and adapted curriculum and your DS may well thrive at one of these and eventually do eg A Levels. But I don't think that will be the school you're looking at now.

He wouldn't lose the ehc to begin with but it is a risky strategy longer term.

Any LA proposing to cease to maintain just because a parent is making their own arrangements via an independent school is acting unlawfully regardless of whether it is immediately or longer term. If the LA tried to cease, parents should challenge it.

The bullying needs addressing through the school, but no, I would not move your DS down two academic years! I would get him really specialist tutors to sit with him to improve putting his ideas to paper. If you have the funds for this, that is where my money would go.

As for your DH and your girls, welcome to the world of teenage girls, which can be a universal challenge for all of us - and no finishing school is required anymore! Remind him who he married, having met at uni. Your girls will be just fine.

Does he want to go to uni OP? Does he have any idea what he might want to do as a job? Anything he's really interested in? I wouldn't send him to that private school, it sound like somewhere he'd hate and being with kids 2 years younger will be really horrible for him.

I know kids who were working at a similar level who have taken GCSEs 3 times trying to pass, it's not something I'd want to put mine through. Also trying to do level 3 qualifications when you've only scraped by level 2 can be extremely difficult if not impossible.

Would he be better off going to college, doing functional skills and practical courses, some do take students from 14. It depends what he wants to do of course. but putting kids through GCSE exams just for them to fail them all is really cruel IMO - and I've seen it more times then I'd like.

I really hope this isn't real because the idea of putting an adopted child with an EHCP predicted 2s and 3s into a hot-housing fee paying school 2 years below his age is a really cruel thing to do and is setting him up to fail.

Not sure how someone managed to adopted a child with birth children a years age either side, since the usual age gap is the adopted child being the youngest by at least 4 years and hardly any children are adopted under age 1 so OP would have already had a new baby when placed with the DS, which I can't see any placing agency doing at all in the UK.

Does he have a scribe and reader in place for gcse?

I have asked three salient questions to assist @redange . Until I hear back, the question of tutoring, reader scribes etc. never mind the school chosen are moot. Believe me I've delved for myself and others and advised. As I'm sure others on this thread have. I've seen absolute miracles in the right educational placements.

I really don't think putting him back is going to help. He'd probably be better off taking his current GCSE's and then either doing access courses or foundation courses at college in something he finds interesting. Maybe a 3-4 year stint at college before uni to give him time to catch up emotionally.

The current plan is going to ruin his self esteem. He may need to swap schools due to the bullying if the school is unwilling to tackle that, but to a school willing to meet him at his level rather than forcing him to fit around them.

I was assuming it's a family adoption.

Op please do not put your son down 2 years, absolutely insane suggestion.

OP you can't knock a bairn down 2 years. Hell never forgive you for it and I'd hazard a guess that other parents will kick up a right stink when they find out.

This school doesn't sound as if it's going to be the right fit for your son.

This obsession with GCSE grades on here is wild. They should have never changed the grading. Kids predicted 2s and 3s should be in a special school indeed. Fucking hell.

Op would you have wanted your 12 year old DD in a class with a 14/15 year old boy? Who was not “emotionally ready” to be with own peers? Whatever that means

Two years down will not work for him socially it would do him a great disservice, this doesn’t sound the right school for your son.

This is a bad idea.

there are specialist privates that may well work for your son but this school does not sound like
it is one of them.

Im a parent whose child has EHCP and I don’t think you get the system. Of course it’s difficult to advice without knowing your DS’s needs/ diagnosis but the main principles stay the same.
If he won’t pass GCSEs in year 11 he will continue maths and English at college. There is always option to resit GCSEs privately.
Will your council maintain his EHCP in this private school? Ours won’t.
Will council maintain his EHCP extra years due to move to year 8 ?
ours won’t.
What can he do after school without GCSES? He will move to a college (if possible for him) and will move slowly from level to level and it’s possible to get very high if he is making progress.

Is info about his sisters relevant? Not at all.

Will your council maintain his EHCP in this private school? Ours won’t.

That may be what your LA tells parents, but it isn’t true. It is unlawful for LAs to cease to maintain just because a child is in the independent sector. Parents whose LA tries to cease to maintain because they are in an independent should challenge the decision. (Although unless named in I the LA doesn’t have to fund the placement/provision.)

Will council maintain his EHCP extra years due to move to year 8 ? ours won’t.

Same for this. LAs can’t lawfully cease to maintain just be use a child is educated out of chronological year group. Although, if parents aren’t making their own arrangements, many have to appeal to get being educated out of chronological year group in F.

However, OP’s plan isn’t a good idea for many reasons.

Going back two years is extreme. What evidence do you have that being held back will actually allow him to blossom in ways that will benefit him in the future that he wouldn't have been able to do if he hadn't been held back?

Given how low his predicted grades currently are, academically would holding him back even 2 years actually help him to catch up to have wildly different grades in the end? Or are his difficulties with learning going to mean even an extra 2 years doesn't change things that much for him?

I wondered what his long term capacity is? I work with adults who we would be expecting to go from 2/3 to 5/6s in 2 years normally. Many of our students have had gaps in their education rather than being unable to achieve more than a 2/3 by year 11 in the normal course of education. I think if he has had a normal course of education, you might be looking at difficulties that require different specialist support than simply repeating years.

Been out all day !

We answer some questions DS was a family member who after a family issue (not prepared to talk about) who I obtained a Special Guardian Order for at the age of six months. After 5 years with a Special Guardian Order in place we formally adopted him after geting the go ahead from our local authority. There is a 18 month difference from DD'1 to DS which is smaller than the usual minimum of two years between children required. However, due to the special family circumstances, it was decided it was the right way forward.

If we leave the state school provided we will be full fee paying parents with little or no contribution from the Local Authority. I do believe that the EHCP stays in place though until 25. It is also likely the Local Authority would question the change of schooling and suggestion of dropping to year 8 as outlined such as best interests etc.

Regarding ability and potential various educational experts who have used Dyslexia/ testing )Dash tests) Dyspraxia have diagnosed HFA. The experts can not understand why he is working at such a low standard when his vocal and reasoning understanding present at year 12 or a 17 year old's level. Indeed despite his difficulties his IQ is recorded at 125, not genius level but better than acquiring grades 2 and 3 in Math's/ English in year 11. Something is going wrong if the current school think 2 and 3's are his correct pathway.

Regarding, potential retake at an Further Education College, it will by the time by evident to himself and other GCSE students taking retake, that is lifestyle is completely different. Therefore, he is likely to try and act out to gain friendship and be in danger of doing dangerous things 'Class Clown' and daredevil things in town during lunchtime.

DS different lifestyle is not helped by his rather naive father, who does not know the difference social difference between a Girls Grammar School and 42% FSM Secondary Modern. This being evident how he could not understand the differing reactions from people for turning to pick the girls up from their Grammar in his Porsche 911 Turbo to, DS 'Modern' School. To him a State School is a State School.

Sorry my punctuation and Grammar is crap tonight ! Retakes, His Lifestyle etc.

Will he board or day pupil ❓

What made you choose this particular school?

He will not board under any circumstances.

The written difficulties sound similar to one if mine with dyspraxia. We got there just about by really drilling/practicing mark schemes.
A 6 mark question in science requires 6 distinct bits of info, so write 6 bullets. English lang was hard ('how am I to know what the writer meant') but again drilling to mark scheme and loads of practice. Dropped history as though she was interested it was one mark scheme too many to practice.

@redange Secondary Moderns haven’t existed since the 70s do you mean it is a state comprehensive?

and that isn’t always true it depends on catchment DD was a a Grammar until Year 12 and has just joined a state school (boys to year 11 and now mixed) and has really noticed a difference in wealth.

with the new school being far richer

it doesn’t sound as if you feel the current school is right.

it doesn’t sound as if you solution is right holding back is a terrible terrible idea

yiu need another solution

Lack of viable options made me think of this school . However, I am minded to tell the school it will be year 9 he enters and not year 8. The school will if they accept him need to teach some subjects in a one to one way or tiny group way. The school has a number of children who are repeating the year or chronologically a year behind . In fact they have a couple of year 11 pupils who are coming up to 18! when they take their GCSE'S. These two teenagers have made great progress from when entering the school.